Kristen Stewart Had A Very Gay 24 Hours

Guys, what is even happening with Kristen Stewart?!?!

Yesterday, celebrated actress, director and clandestine glove lunch enthusiast Jodie Foster was awarded a star on the legendary Hollywood Walk of Fame, and her former Panic Room costar Kristen Stewart was there to cheer her on. She even made a speech celebrating her mentor, who also started her career as a child actress and went on to pursue more serious projects.

“Of all the examples that I could have had at such an impressionable age, there’s nothing self-serving about her,” Stewart said. “She cares about people, she is quite the opposite of the type of person that is gravitated towards being an actress… She’s always encompassed what I thought was sort of the prime example of where you want to be and she’s been there for me.. She’s a baller on every level. It’s out of control. She did everything young. She kicked Yale’s ass. She won Oscars. She became a filmmaker herself. She created a family and still is just normal and cool and kind.”

stewart-foster-435

At press time, Jodie Foster doppelganger and queer enthusiast Taylor Hatmaker could not be reached for comment. (image via Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty)

Kristen also super-casually mentioned that Jodie hired a mariachi band to play at her 11th birthday, which is a dream I did not know I even had.

Later, photos surfaced on Twitter of Stewart attending what appears to be a friend’s birthday party.. with someone who is almost definitely her beanied ex girlfriend Alicia Cargile.. at what could theoretically be the patio of the Abbey in West Hollywood on ladies’ night (maybe?). Some kind of bar patio filled with a gaggle of Los Angeles gay ladies. Some kind of very gay tree.

UMMMM?!

UMMMM?!

Rumored ex-girlfriend Soko is currently in Cannes, Snapchatting herself partying with friends. Ms. Stewart was spotted leaving the Met Gala earlier this week with Miley Cyrus’ ex girlfriend Stella Maxwell. It seems that Kristen appears to be living in some kind of lesbian Los Angeles dreamscape. Do you recognize this tree? Who are these people? What even is reality anymore?

The top of the photo says "BIRTHDAY BASH," don't ask me how I figured that out cos I don't know either.

The top of the photo says “BIRTHDAY BASH,” don’t ask me how I figured that out cos I don’t know either.

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 428 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. Either

    a) All of them are being super adult about all of this

    or

    b) time to invest in popcorn and watch the train do some kind of wrecking; because no one, not even goddamn KStew, can do that much juggling!

  2. I love this new world we’re living in where two famous women are getting into a car together and everyone assumes they’re fucking.

    Not so long ago, it either wouldn’t have made headlines at all or it would have been along the lines of, “New BFF Alert!”

    • I like that one they had, but find it really odd she is not straight and a Scientologist. Like I thought they were against the LGBTQ community?

        • It’s funny — I think that it really works for some people. Obviously the horror stories get the news, and the price tag is pretty shocking. But I think that for a lot of people it helps them to gain control over their own thinking, to set their intentions and realize their dreams and get over their own bullshit.

          I’m not and have never been a scientologist. I just respect that there are a lot of people who think that it really helps them and it isn’t for me to say that they are wrong.

  3. I love everything KStew, thanks Stef for keeping us up to date on this important stuff!
    … But this post could have been more about JODIE FOSTER who I love perhaps even more and who just got a star on the walk of fame. However, these two together make my day.

    • Yasssss, Jodie Foster. My profound protective feelings for her character in Contact should have been a big clue for me back in my teeny-bopper days… I remember making envelopes out of magazine pages at Girl Scout camp and writing on the front “I need to see this movie” with a big ol’ arrow pointing toward a still of her in the film. Then I think i used it to send a letter home; something like “Camp’s great, the food’s amazing, can I please stay longer?”

  4. Why the hell wasn’t I there? Seriously, though so happy for Kristen for being her authentic self. That faux Robert Patterson romance to promote Twilight was nauseating.

  5. I’d think she’s bisexual, not gay. At least I’d define bi as having had both gay and straight relationships, unless the straight one is a fake one, but I see no reasons for, this is not the 50’s anymore, gladly (:.

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