Is ‘Real Housewives of New York’ the New ‘L Word’?

Racquel and Mel are doing the lesbian lord’s work on Real Housewives of New York this season by making it actually watchable. As far as starter wives go, there’s no way Rebecca Minkoff is passing the test, but Racquel Chevremont and her hot fiancée — who I refer to as Hot Mel because, well, she’s hot and her name is Mel — better be here to stay. Hot Mel, in fact, should get promoted from House Husband/friend of to full-time Housewife. You know what? Let’s just gradually replace everyone in the RHONY cast with dykes. We’ve already got Racquel and Jenna Lyons. Get rid of everyone else and hire some rich NYC lesbians to take their places. Except Jessel. Jessel can stay. She’s overwhelmingly straight but almost in a way that feels like a performance of straightness and therefore circles back to being gay.

Bravo has had lesbians and bisexual women in its shows before, but this season of Real Housewives of New York is hands down the dykiest a Real Housewives series has ever felt.

Racquel and Mel are basically singlehandedly turning RHONY into The L Word. I mean, even their jobs make them sound like a couple on The L Word; Racquel is an art collector (so definitely of Bette Porter’s world) slash model, and Mel is a forensic neuropsychologist who loves motorcycles. Every time I see them on screen, I can hear the faint sounds of the L Word theme song lilting in the back of my mind. They made things very gay right away in the season 15 premiere when we were first introduced to their relationship. Last week, they went to a dyke bar in an episode and even said the words “dyke bar” while mic’d (a Bravo first!). And in last night’s episode, we got to see them gleefully plan their lesbian engagement party, which is ballroom-themed.

Now, I’ll admit I initially misunderstood Racquel, not because I myself don’t know what ballroom culture is but because I’m not used to seeing queer people on Bravo who actually have an understanding of queer culture, queer history, and queerness beyond their personal lives. Racquel is talking about actual ball culture, and she gives a very brief but welcome primer for the straight viewers at home. Racquel centers queer people of color in this talking head, and I cannot think of an instance where that’s ever really been done in the Real Housewives multiverse. Racquel and Mel aren’t just providing “visibility” as two queer women of color in a relationship; they’re introducing queer culture and history into a hyper-heteronormative world. Spouses/partners of Housewives typically have a choice as to whether to appear on screen (Jenna’s girlfriend Cass Bird, for example, has opted out), and it feels like a meaningful choice that Mel is so present in the series. The Real Housewives series are very much about gender and sexuality, even when the people in them don’t totally realize that, and through Mel, we get a queer portrayal of womanhood that diverges from the norms of the show. Racquel and Mel also provide a very queer portrayal of family (Mel is an active co-parent to Racquel’s kids with her ex). Talking about specific queer culture, like ballroom, is the cherry on top of this Bravo Dyke sundae.

To plan their engagement party, they head to Lady Konfidential, which describes itself as a “an elegant and discreet pleasure boutique,” but which Hot Mel aptly describes as “a speakeasy sex shop.” They’re interested in some sexy pieces for the party, so they check out a leather flogger with a glass handle that doubles as a glass dildo. Racquel “tests” it out on Mel by whipping her with it, and we’ve seen sooooooo many goofy Real Housewives moments where the ladies are play-whipping each other or otherwise being overtly sexual with each other for laughs, and even though Racquel and Mel are indeed being playful here, it’s so different than that, offering an actual peek into their sexual dynamics with each other. In a talking head, Mel says she feels like people might assume Racquel is a pillow princess but is anything but. Racquel states plainly that she’s “not a bottom,” and then Mel chimes in to say she’s not a bottom either. Switch4switch? Top4top? No, the way the whole scene unfolds, it does seem like Racquel is solidly the top and Mel is a bottom who isn’t fully ready to claim the title, and I love that they’re both just talking about these dynamics so openly without explaining them (to be fair, a large portion of the Bravo viewership are gay men, but I think it’s even good/educational for them to realize lesbians use these terms, too).

Mel saying Racquel is aggressive in the bedroom on Real Housewives of New York and Racquel saying she's not a bottom Mel saying she's not a bottom either on Real Housewives of New York

Racquel puts a leather collar with a gold chain on Mel at one point (not beating the bottom allegations, Hot Mel!), and then sexy times transition to serious times. Hey, it wouldn’t be a lesbian trip to the sex shop without a bit of emotional processing. Mel talks to Racquel about Racquel’s mother, who Racquel has not seen or spoken to for a very long time. I love this earnest conversation about complicated family shit happening in the middle of a speakeasy sex shop. It feels real! And so much of RHONY right now feels so staged. I don’t need “leaky pigeons”; give me gay shit.

Racquel and Mel are bringing queerness to RHONY beyond the visibility of their relationship. I love Jenna Lyons, but this was exactly what was missing from last season (though, to be fair, she was the only queer person on the show, which makes it more difficult to inject fully fleshed out queer moments and narratives). Even on other franchises that have queer Housewives, like Real Housewives of Miami, we only really get portraits of queer domesticity and no actual discussion or glimpse of queer culture. I can’t actually relate to Racquel and Mel because of their extreme wealth, and yet, they feel like the most familiar people I’ve ever seen on Bravo. They talk and interact like friends of mine, making fun of straight people and using queer language organically.

Also, has anyone noticed that any time Racquel and Mel are walking in a scene together, the camera pans down the entire length of their outfits to their (very gay) shoes? Someone behind the camera said this is for the lesbians.

Rich dykes traipsing around a city? Real Housewives of New York is practically The L Word. And on that note, I think we should all be coveting Hot Mel’s hairstyle on the same level as Shane hair craze.

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 934 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. Kayla, THANK YOU for writing about the last couple of episodes! I may or may not have been checking the real-housewives tag to read your thoughts. Racquel and Hot Mel are carrying the season, and I love their scenes.

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