If Lesbian/Bi Celebrities Were 90s Boy/Girl Bands

Does anyone remember the 90s? It seems like a lost decade oft overlooked. Curious, no one is with me on this, given its proximity and the wackadoodle things we gave the go-ahead to, like 3,500 boy/girl bands packed into a mere decade. Not all boy/girl bands have stood the test of time — sorry 5ive and Dream — but the ones that have leave a bit to the imagination when it comes to queer sensibilities. That’s why I’ve used mine to give us the heroes we’ve always needed.


Justin – The Superstar (Ellen DeGeneres)
J.C. – Justin’s Sidekick (Portia de Rossi)
Chris K. – The One That Seemed Sort Of Over It (Sara Gilbert)
Joey – The Comedian (Wanda Sykes)
Lance – The Squeaky Clean One (Chely Wright)



Howie – The Quiet Softy (Tracy Chapman)
Nick – The Cute N’ Cocky One (Samira Wily)
AJ – The “Bad Boy” (Ruby Rose)
Kevin – Everyone’s Dad (Jodie Foster)
Brian – The Understated Presence (Tig Notaro)



Left Eye – The Controversial One (Raven Symone)
T-Boz – Cropped & Cool (Halsey)
Chilli – The Girl Next Door (Patricia Velasquez)



Batman – The Smooth Dreamboat (AzMarie Livingston)
Romeo – The Shy One With Style (Samantha Ronson)
LDB – The Jokester (Tegan Quin) [LDB doesn’t look like a jokester here or anywhere but I read it in a magazine once.]

Spice Girls


Sporty – The Sporty-In-A-Tailored-Way One (Jackie Warner)
Scary – The Big Personality (Jane Lynch)
Posh – The Aloof One (Cara Delevingne)
Ginger – The Cheeky, Brazen One (Margaret Cho)
Baby – The Adorable One (Faustina “Fuzzy” Agolley)

98 Degrees


Justin – The One That Just Seemed Happy To Be There (Billie Jean King)
Drew – The One With The Hat (Tasha Van Ree)
Nick – The Hunk (Jenny Shimizu)
Jeff – The Harmonizer (The Indigo Girls)

New Kids On The Block


Danny – The One Destined For A Life In Fitness (Jillian Michaels)
Jordan – The Coiffed Cutie (Cameron Esposito)
Joey – The Young Cutie (Ellen Page)
Jonathan – The Sensitive One (Sara Quin)
Donnie – The Wise Guy (Rosie O’Donnell)

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. when i saw this headline i was like “all my dreams have come true” and also “i bet erin wrote this” and both were correct.

  2. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
    So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
    I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,
    I wanna really really really wanna see the lesbian/bi Spice Girls sing

  3. I’ve enjoyed many posts on Autostraddle, but seldom does a post nestle as gently and as comfortably as this one does deep inside my chest.

    • rachel all i remembered about s club 7 was there theme song, “s clubbb aint no party like an s club party”

    • my take:

      annie clark as tina, the team mom
      kristen stewart as jon, the mellow chandler bing
      carrie brownstein as paul, the clumsy fool
      kate mckinnon as hannah the space cadet
      brittani nichols as bradley, the serial romeo/heartbreaker
      ali liebert as rachel, the girl next door
      evan rachel wood as jo, the head tomboi

    • About 5 years ago I saw Bradley, Jon and Jo play a gay night at a straight bar in my home town- unheard of as it is – and it was just weird. Like 3 out of a 4 or 5 piece makes sense but 3 out of 7 is like are you even a band any more? Jo still has pipes though.

      • Oh yeah, when I saw a video of one of their mini-reunions, I felt very sad for them. But then when they did their full reunion shortly after, I just thought, “Rachel, you are better than this.”

  4. You know, I never really understood my friends’ fascination with boy bands growing up (one had an entire wall covered with Backstreet Boys pics) but I am fairly confident if they had looked like the above I’d have totally been into them.

  5. This is perfect. I was almost upset that the greatest girl band of all time, GIRLS ALOUD, was not included, but then I remembered you were just doing 90s bands. So, it’s perfect.

  6. Jodie Foster as Kevin and Ruby Rose as AJ was so very inspired
    This is a work of art. Makes me proud to be an A+ subscriber

  7. I’m impressed with the amount of research that went into this. Such obscure references are the stuff nostalgia is made of.

  8. Jodie Foster as Kevin Richardson and Tig Notaro as Brian Littrell are just PURE GENIUS. Also the rest of this. Just all of it *makes general gesture at whole screen* So great.

  9. These are glorious. Truly. Ellen as JT cracked me up. As a Brit there are bands here I have never heard of and I’m wishing there was a Steps one.

  10. I just left a really hard meeting with my therapist, but then I saw this and it’s like everything is right with the world.

    • I mean I hate linking to Buzzfeed as much as the next girl but OVERALLS WITHOUT SHIRTS UNDERNEATH, PEOPLE. I was not prepared for looking at teen heartthrob style photos and actually finding them hot.

  11. I’m so glad u made Brian Tig Notaro, Hero Of Our Times, because I’m p sure Brian is who I chose to marry during a rousing playground game of “I shout an accusation at you while also throwing a Dodgeball at you, and if you catch the ball, the accusation is TRUE”


    *catches ball*

    “wait which one is Brian?”

    (they all looked the same to me, that is: like adult men, which is embarrassing because I was such a backstreet boys fan. “NSYNC MORE LIKE NSTINK” – me, aged nine)

    In retrospect I’m really glad they didn’t say, like, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, because then I would have been outed as the one kid probably in the entire US of A who didn’t know who the Hell Jonathan Taylor Thomas was.

    • More Accurate Things My Peers Could Have Accused Me Of:




  12. Fuzzy’s gay?! Where the hell have I been?! Go Fuzzy!

    Also, “LDB doesn’t look like a jokester here or anywhere but I read it in a magazine once.”

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