Boobs on Your Tube: “How I Met Your Father” Advises Against DIY Alternative Lifestyle Haircuts

The Screen Actors Guild is now on strike alongside the Writers Guild, and as much as we love TV, we love the workers even more! They have our full support! Also this week in queer TV news, Kristen Kish is taking over for Padma Lakshmi on season 21 of Top Chef. Kayla made you a list of spicy sapphic love triangles and she broke down those Yellowjackets gazes between Jackie and Shauna. Carmen and Valerie reviewed Justina Machado’s chaotic bisexual cannibal in The Horror of Dolores Roach. Heather recapped the latest episode of And Just Like That and reviewed Nimona.

How I Met Your Father Episode 219 & 220: “Shady Parker” & “Okay Fine, It’s a Hurricane”

Written by Valerie Anne

Ellen holds her wig and makes a horrified expression as she reveals her choppy, uneven short haircut.

This has temporarily quelled my urge to give myself a haircut.

This week is the two-episode finale of How I Met Your Father is a romp that kindly takes into consideration that the show has not yet been renewed for a third season. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Thanks to a Sandy Rivers cameo, we learn that there’s a hurricane swooping in, as a bit of literal and metaphorical foreshadowing. But first, the friends have a packing party, because Jesse is moving in with Parker to make room for Hannah in Sid’s apartment. Sophie is trying to be super supportive of the relationship, but her jealousy makes her act out, snooping in Parker’s things and accusing her of being “a hot conwoman who swings both ways.” We never get confirmation on the second thing, but Parker is definitively not a conwoman.

Meanwhile, Val is on a quest for the lyrics she found last Lost & Found day, and accuses Ellen of stealing it. Ellen admits she stole something, but it was the DIY Haircut book and she’s actually been wearing a wig because she butchered her hair.

Parker leaves to let the friends sort their shit out and the rest of the gang, plus a surprise Hannah, hole up in the bar to ride out the hurricane. Soon after Hannah’s arrival, Ellen gets a shady text from her meant for someone named Eli, and she corners Hannah in the bathroom about it and finds out she kissed a coworker the night before. Ellen is torn up about whether or not to tell Sid about it but eventually Hannah confesses, letting Ellen off the hook.

On the other end of the spectrum, Sophie and Jesse finally get out of their own way and confess they still have feelings for one another and after Jesse breaks up with Parker, he and Sophie have a romantic hurricane kiss.

As anyone who watched the original series knows, this doesn’t mean we’ve discovered the titular Father, but if we happen to not get a third season, it’s a lovely ending. For them at least. That said, I do hope we get another season and get to see Ellen go on more gay adventures.

Nancy Drew Episode 407: “The Reaping of Hollow Oak”

Written by Valerie Anne

Jade smiles up at Nick

Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Light Switch

Good news, Jade is back! Nick’s non-binary beau is trying to get to know Nick better, but because of all the supernatural shenanigans he has to play down what he’s been up to. They try to get more out of Nick but every line of questioning leads to more of him having to change the subject again. To make matters worse, Ace storms in talking about Nancy. Jade tries to give him some advice, but then Nancy shows up too. Nancy introduces herself to Jade but when they realize that Nancy and Ace aren’t going anywhere any time soon, they decide to leave, gently accusing Nick of being shady on the way out.

The Drew Crew meets up because they have to do a seance to learn about the location of the Black Door, and to do that they end up having to play a board game the dead guy in question, Ron, left behind. And I don’t know about you but between Jumanji, Gatlopp, and a hilariously bad Eliza Dushku movie my friends and I recently watched called Open Graves, I can never get enough haunted board game content.

During this board game, they have to fight shades with 80s moves and puns to eventually face Grims and get Ron’s soul back so he can tell them where the Black Door is. Along the way, Bess gets eliminated, making her unconscious til the end of the game, which is too bad because that means she doesn’t know that Ryan blackmailed the sheriff into letting Bess back into the Historical Society until later. To skip ahead a little, when Bess DOES get back to the historical society, there are 6 bloody horseshoes on the porch. Which seems a little witchy for an organization that is anti-supernatural stuff, but what do I know.

Okay back to the game: while the Drew Crew set up the Claw with silver to prepare for the final battle, Nick tells Nancy that he doesn’t want to tell Jade about the supernatural stuff because he likes them and is afraid it makes him unlikable. And just a hot tip from me to Nick, changing any part of yourself to try to force a relationship to work isn’t great foundation to start on.

Nancy, George, and Ace decide to cheat because apparently they never saw Jumanji. They all immediately get eliminated and only Nick is left to battle the Grims…and then Jade comes into the restaurant. As Nick and his ripped shirt has his 80s battle, he admits that he likes Jade and that this chaos is why he didn’t tell them the whole truth. He never lied, but he also withheld a lot of information. Nick has a lot of evidence that points to love and the supernatural being a bad mix, but Jade just joins in the fight without really batting an eye. In the end, Nick asks them to leave so he can finish the last Grim off without worrying about Jade, and defeats the Grim and gets the soul globe, which eventually allows Ron to tell them the Black Door is in Town Hall.

Later when they meet back up, Nick apologizes for holding back parts of himself, and Jade says they’re just glad he’s finally opening up, and actually they’re enjoying finally seeing the real Ned Nickerson. And in fact, they say, and I quote, “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.” I love them so much.

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Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 550 articles for us.


  1. Family Law season 2 is now streaming in the US on CW (started earlier in Canada), with a new episode every Friday. There’s a great trans woman character and a lesbian woman as well – both getting screen time every episode.

    I don’t mind HIMYF, but it’s just sooooo aggressively straight apart from Ellen that I’m not sure it “deserves” the weekly recap? Love Nancy Drew, though.

  2. I feel so bad for Ellen but also totally feel her rn

    *when you casually want to get an ALH but still need to wait another 6 months for your HRT to kick in enough for it to work*

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