Here Is Your “Are You The One?” Bisexual Dating Show Drinking Game

As we head into yet another gripping episode of everybody’s favorite dating show “Are You The One?” tonight, it’s important that we prepare ourselves in one of two ways: drinking a lot of alcohol (if that’s what you’re into) or hydrating a lot (a good idea for everybody, but also probably more appealing than alcohol for people who don’t drink!) Are you ready to find your one true love? Will it be a small serving of liquor or a big swig of water? I hope mine is Jasmine.


One Drink

Bisexuality metaphor
Three people involved in any sort of simultaneous sexual activity, incl. sex or a three-way kiss
Mention of emotional baggage
Anyone says the word “fluid”
Cast member does an interview without a shirt on
Kai’s button-up shirt is buttoned up
Danny does math
Grinding close-up
Any mention of witchcraft or astrology
Anyone is slapped on the ass
Kissing in the interview room
Nour and Amber declare themselves a match
Someone toasts to themselves in the interview room
A conversation about someone’s tattoos
Anyone says the word “boom boom room”
Jenna or Kai refer to themselves in third person
Jonathan wears colored sunglasses
Jonathan mentions his insecurity or low self-esteem
Glitter shirt
Crying
Anyone mentions that this is the first time in Are You the One history that anybody could be matched with anybody else
Anyone refers to Kansas, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan or Missouri
Paige wears a sports bra as a shirt
Any contestants wear a snapback

Heading towards a drink!

Two Drinks

Spying on somebody else having sex
Date activity involves live animals
Anybody compares anybody else to a live animal
Anyone identifies themselves as a top or a bottom
Remy goes to the Boom Boom Room
Dione Slay shows up

Just slide off your chair onto the ground and plant your face into the carpet, then slowly raise your body in cobra pose and take a shot

Someone says “my heart is in my butthole”
A match is confirmed as a match in the Truth Booth


Give us your ideas for proper drinking occasions in the comments!


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riese

Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2895 articles for us.

11 Comments

  1. How about Remy or Basit delivering another all timer of a line. You’ll know it if you hear it.

    Examples from previous episodes:

    Remy: “this show should be called Are You The Bottom For Me?”

    Basit: “Jonathan is trying to tell me his perfect match is with someone whose quote of the day is ‘I Love Holes!’”

  2. I watched this for the first time last night! Out of curiosity and also to clean my palette after watching a few minutes of The Bachelorette the other day (omg, straight people are not ok on that show).

    I still have no idea how I feel about it. It made me feel really, really old. Like way older than my 49 years.

    Bottom line – I’m so glad this exists and I’m not sure I’ll actually watch another episode.

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