Hello, overflowing batches of spiked eggnog! It’s that time of the week again where we plan total world domination in the Friday Open Thread! JK, actually we commiserate about the patriarchy and share photos of our girlfriends / pets / loved ones / projects from the past week and then fawn over each other. In other words, it’s everywhere you wanna be.
I have an announcement to make, queermos of my heart. As of November 1, I’ve been listening to nonstop holiday music all the time and using the hashtag #XXXMAS liberally on Twitter. That can only mean one thing: IT’S THE HOLIGAY SEASON, Y’ALL. Ready or not, here it comes. Start practicing your best rendition of “Santa Baby,” making your lists and checking them twice, and picking out your subversive holiday lingerie! Get gifting! Get gift wrapping, too. Prepare yourself emotionally for an onslaught of red, blue, green, and white decorations in your favorite retail stores and restaurants and start saving pennies for your holiday card stamp stash now.
As for me? I’ve already picked up a bunch of gifts, wished I was watching “The Year Without A Santa Claus,” and caught myself contemplating random acts of kindness around the office. And Eli? He’s already tried on his trusty Santa hat with completely not-optional attached beard twice and hated it. In other words, I’m completely dying of excitement for what is to come and I want to take you with me.
You may be reading this and thinking to yourself that you hate crowds, gifts, and general feelings of cheer, but don’t worry! There’s something in it for all of us. Maybe, for example, you like hot chocolate or gingerbread cookies, or don’t secretly harbor ill will against yourself for having chosen to build a life somewhere where winter really does come every year. Maybe you like gifts (I do, no judgement) or giving them (you Saint). Maybe you’re just super nostalgic. Maybe you like snow or snowglobes or the feeling of seeing a photo of snow on your Tumblr dashboard without feeling like it’s out of season. Maybe you really do hate it all, and the only thing I can say to make you feel better is that inevitably, the Holigays, like all of our lives and the Republican Party, will ultimately come to an end. (And then, there will be so many sales you won’t even be able to handle it.)
So tell me, special snowflakes, what team you’re on. Are you excited? Happy? Completely unmoved? Conversely, are you deeply moved? Very busy? A total Grinch? Watching The Grinch as I live and breathe? I wanna know your feelings on the frenzy that’s about to become our realities for the next two months, because at Christmastime, we tell the truth. (And seriously, it’s okay if you hate that movie. Me. Fucking. Too.) And don’t forget to catch me up on your weeks and lives, too! I want to know everything, even if it isn’t about wrapping paper, ornaments, or reindeer cookie cutters. Promise.
How To Post A Photo In The Comments:
1. Find a photo!This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix!
How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:
1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.
2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.
3. Go forth and jam.