Lingeringlilies aka Lily R. Mason (Glee)

Art by shut-up136.

How did you discover femslash fan fiction?

As a teen, I was desperate for reassurance and representation in popular media, as I had few real-life role models or queer peers. I found The L Word and South of Nowhere and clung to them desperately. In hindsight, those shows showcased the perfect combination of roles models: Spencer and Ashley navigating the sweet anxiety of young queer love, and the women of The L Word giving me something to hope for in the future. When the TV shows failed to soothe me completely, I discovered a delightful cove called fan fiction. I lurked there for a few years before venturing out into real-life activities: joining a GSA, volunteering with the local LGBT Center, and oh yeah, dating.

Why did you decide to get actively involved in writing femslash fan fiction?

I’ve always felt the need to be part of something bigger than myself. It helps me stay grounded. When Brittany and Santana’s story on Glee started to unfold, I had a visceral reaction to it. I needed more than I knew Glee would give me. I was so compelled to read a faster, more thorough account of Brittana’s love story, giving them the quality resolution they deserved, I never considered that I didn’t have to write it myself.  My writing started as an attempt to embellish on what was happening on screen and carry it far past anywhere Glee could go.

As time went on and the show went so awry — rending Brittany mute, involving inappropriate characters, and inserting disrespectful mini-arcs into their story — writing became a consolation and affirmation that queer women deserved better. At that point I had developed a loyal following with a large presence of teen girls who were frantic to see themselves — as represented by Brittana — get more than the writers were giving them. I felt a conscious obligation to write stories of hope and affirmation without dumbing down many of the socio-political issues Glee was mishandling. It didn’t hurt that writing was keeping me sane through the second half of grad school and my first years of clinical placement in my field.

I would argue fan fiction is one of the greatest art forms of the Internet age, though it dates back for centuries. Since its inception, fan fiction has been art for the people, by the people, that provides meaningful social and political commentary in a medium that is highly accessible and easily digestible. It is art that is solely about artistic expression, catharsis, connection, craft, and community. Millions of brilliant writers offer their work free of charge. We write for the joy of writing.

And most amazingly, fan fiction is devoid of the corruption that ensues when corporations control how art is distributed and viewed. No one ever sets out to make money from fanfiction (though some have.) No one ever hears of an author getting screwed over financially by their publisher. No story was ever discontinued due to lack of funds. Our community has been flourishing for decades without the sponsorship or involvement of corporations. Once I realized what a goldmine of creative collaboration and expression fan fiction was, I knew I was in it for life.

What about Brittany and Santana makes them your muse?

Foremost, there’s an intrinsic “magic” factor to Brittana that I can’t verbalize, the same way I can’t verbalize why I feel drawn to certain colors or landscapes. Some of it was timing; I found myself nursing a broken heart with lots of free time right around when Brittany and Santana first started getting more screen time. But there’s still a mystery ingredient I’ve never been able to put my finger on.

Practically, Brittany and Santana are compelling characters that were never given enough material to satisfy audience curiosity. There were so many gaps and inconsistencies that a communal hunger surfaced. Their seemingly dichotomous natures created a chemistry more complex than it initially appeared; Brittany has proven at times more vindictive than Santana, and Santana more nurturing and forgiving than many assume Brittany to be. Without becoming chronically inconsistent, both characters have enough flexibility and nuance that they are maleable in writers’ hands while still maintaining a delightfully rich chemistry with each other.

Brittany and Santana’s physicality and non-sexual sensuality are rife with opportunity for interpretation and elaboration. Though at times the show over-sexualized them, their relationship is so obviously about more than sex; they are best friends, confidantes, and lovers in a way unrelated to circumstances; their Midwestern high school cheer team setting was a detail in a love story that could take place in many other contexts. As I saw on Tumblr once attributed to the ever-wise “anonymous,” they really embody the idea that, throughout time and space, “Every me loves every you.”

How have you seen femslash fandom change since you’ve been involved in it?

There’s a lot more anger amongst Brittana fans, for sure. There was a mass exodus between seasons 3 and 4. I can understand why. Had I not been so invested in the fandom as a writer, I might have jumped ship too. I noticed that those who stuck around tended to be a bit older than the initial mean age of the fandom, and highly educated. The general demographic of the fandom transitioned the same way the characters transitioned: anxious teenage girls became self-affirmed, educated, empowered, and sometimes righteously indignant women committing themselves to causes they care about. Both demographics are rich with experience and perspective. It’s a pleasure to be in such good company.

“Glee may have been a hot mess of a show, but its original goal of celebrating the underdogs — queer people and artists like me — has manifested in my life in the most beautiful way.”

Do you still care about what happens on-screen, or does fan fiction meet your needs?

Initially, what happened in canon was tremendously important, but when it went awry, fan fiction was the salve to soothe the ache. My ability to stomach canon events during seasons 3, 4, and 5 was due to my involvement in righting canon wrongs via fan fiction. Perhaps it’s because I’ve transitioned to writing original fiction for queer women now and miss writing Brittana, but season 6’s events were surprisingly important to me. Having the much-deserved and unexpected resolution and affirmation on screen after so many years of anguish is the best possible way to finish out the series. Glee may have done us many wrongs, but I appreciate the few things they’ve gotten right.

What’s your favorite fan fiction you’ve written? 

My second work, “Me and You and Daisies,” chronicles the first seven years of Brittana’s marriage and their first years of parenting. It was an intensely emotional writing experience of which the fandom experience was integral. I’ve written three novel-length stories since then and improved my technical craft as a writer, but I still haven’t written anything that taps so close to my own emotional veins. As a writer, when you get close to certain truths, you feel it, and with any luck, the readers feel it too. I think I hit the sweet spot with that one.

Has writing fan fiction changed your life?

Through the process of writing and the fandom experience, I have made some of my nearest and dearest friends whom I see regularly in real life. I’ve worked with great minds who inspire me to think deeply and live honorably and further my craft. Because of my involvement in fandom, I was able to branch out into writing original fiction. My stories took off and revenue from online sales of my books, the vast majority of which were purchased by non-fandom consumers, paid my rent for a year and financed a year-long adventure in New York City where I met even more amazing women from fandom. Best of all, I’ve discovered something I love and will continue to do for the rest of my life.

Being in fandom has changed my life permanently and for the better. Glee may have been a hot mess of a show, but its original goal of celebrating the underdogs — queer people and artists like me — has manifested in my life in the most beautiful way.

Reese (All the things!)

Art by Nanoxepher.

How did you discover femslash fan fiction?

Purely by accident. I was a teenager, just got internet and was exploring, seeing what was out there. At the time one of my favorite characters was Dr. Beverly Crusher from Star Trek TNG, and I’d typed her name into my search engine. I clicked on a link that took me to a fanfiction.net posting. It wasn’t just my first femslash, but the first time I discovered fan fiction was a thing. The story was about Dr. Crusher and Deanna Troi on holiday together; it was a sweet romantic smut story involving strawberries and female body fluids. I was still struggling with my own sexual identity so I guess the fact that I continued reading it to the end kind of sticks with me.

Why did you decide to get actively involved in writing femslash fan fiction?

At the time, a long time ago, I would have said it was because I liked writing, I liked stories, and writing fan fiction seemed be the natural progression of the pretend play I did as a kid. When I was little I created characters for myself and pretended to be that character in my favorite shows. When I got older and began developing an interest in writing, I started putting my characters on the page rather than just keeping them in my head. Looking at femslash, from my point of view now, I wanted to see me in these shows I loved so much.

I struggled with my sexuality for a long time and I think it would have been so much easier if I’d seen someone like me on TV or in a movies or in books. Femslash fan fiction gave me that; the stories I read showed I wasn’t alone because other people had to think like me if they’re writing about this stuff. Writing femslash gave me an outlet to explore that side of me safely, privately, and in a judgment free space.

Writing for me now is relaxing, a way to vent, and it’s still a way for me to see people like me in the media and it’s a way for me to maybe show some kid there are other people out there who think and feel the way she does. Also, you can’t really trust show runners with your babies; they’ll just get it all wrong!

Which pairings do you write about?

My first femslash couple was Storm and Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. My first really popular pairing was Olivia Benson and Alex Cabot from Law & Order SVU. I haven’t worked with them in years but still get PMs asking me if I’m ever going to continue with them. I’ve done Xena and Gabrielle, Helen and Niki from Bad Girls, and Seven and Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager. My most recent stories have been Bering and Wells, Swan Queen, Rizzoli & Isles, Elizabeth Donnelly and Casey Novak from SVU (set in my Alex and Liv world), and Callie and Arizona from Grey’s Anatomy. My Muse right at this moment is obsessed with Stargate SG1 and Sanctuary.

What about those couples makes them your muse?

It normally starts with a personal attraction to one of the actresses and a flicker of chemistry between her and whoever I’m shipping her with. There was always a spark between Olivia and Alex, and in the scene in “Loss” when Alex is shot and Olivia’s over her trying to stop the bleeding, and she’s talking to her so softly and using terms of endearment, that set off my imagination and I wrote “Second Changes.” I like fix-it fics! After getting pissed once I’d finished sobbing after watching “Heroes Part 2” I started writing “Saving Her is All that Matters” to undo Janet Fraiser’s death. The actresses made sure that Sam and Janet were friends, and they were so cute together behind the scenes, I had to pair them up. The pairs I have, they compliment each other in some way, there’s a spark, a connection, even if it’s just a flicker of something.

How have you seen femslash fandom change since you’ve been involved in it?

When I first started out I don’t remember anyone ever talking about fan fiction. You would post and there would be comments on the post but that was really the end of it. Now asking someone what fics are you reading is as common as asking what book. The actors and actresses whose characters we’re playing with know what we’re doing; they talk about fan fiction. I’m much more at ease with telling someone I write fan fiction when they ask about my hobbies.

“I struggled with my sexuality for a long time and I think it would have been so much easier if I’d seen someone like me on TV or in a movies or in books. Femslash fan fiction gave me that; the stories I read showed I wasn’t alone because other people had to think like me if they’re writing about this stuff.”

Do you feel like show creators respond to femslash fandom in a visible way, on-screen?

I haven’t really heard creators or showrunners speak much about it, but I have heard people like Amanda Tapping, Jaime Murray, and Teryl Rothery talk about fan-created art, videos and fictions. I like that better because it’s their portrayal that draws me in more than anything. I like knowing they think it’s cool and acknowledge that we’re putting out time and effort into further enjoying what they’ve created and inspired.

What’s your favorite fan fiction you’ve written? How come? And may I have a link?

This might sound lame but its totally honest! Whatever story I’m working on is my favorite. Right now it’s my SG1, and SG1/Sanctuary crossover fics. Right now I’m really into rewatching those two shows, Amanda Tapping is just really amazing. I love that I can watch SG1 and not once do I see Helen in Sam and visa versa. I’ll put the link to my fanfiction.net account, my pen name is ReeseM

Has writing fan fiction changed your life?

It’s given me an outlet. It let me explore a side of myself that I wasn’t always willing to accept. It helped with my writing skills. It’s given me a place to go when I need to get away from life, when I needed a smile or laugh. It’s let me express things and experience things I wouldn’t normally get to in real life.

LZClotho (Xena, Voyager, Once Upon a Time)

Art by amaltea-olenska.

How did you discover femslash fan fiction?

I began reading femslash fiction as a member of the Xena fandom. I started writing general fiction in that fandom, but only completed a few short stories before I was writing femslash stories myself.

Why did you decide to get actively involved in writing femslash fan fiction?

I got involved in writing femslash fan fiction because it was a personally fulfilling theme to explore with those two characters, and to more fully address questions within myself.

Which pairings do you write about?

I currently write primarily SwanQueen. Since Xena (where I exclusively wrote Xena/Gabrielle and their alternate universes) I have dabbled in Voyager (Janeway/Seven), Boston Public (Ronnie/OFC), and have current Swingtown (Emma Swan pre-Storybrooke becomes involved with Trina and Tom Decker) and Harry Potter (Emma/Regina as teachers at Hogwarts) crossovers going.

What about those couples makes them your muse?

The couples aren’t my muse. She’s a very particular personality. However, these couples have piqued my interest always because their dynamics are contentious/opposite or there is internal conflict or developments in one or both that I find enjoyable to work at resolution/growth by pairing them up with the other character. People come into our lives for reasons: we learn from them, we learn about ourselves, and we learn more about life through an altered lens, if only for a time. These are great explorations for a writer who is driven by characters.

How have you seen femslash fandom change since you’ve been involved in it?

The femslash fandom has definitely become more diverse since I started being involved. I don’t keep up on most of the shows women are watching these days where they say there are f/f dynamics at play. For a while there was really just Xena and then Buffy, and then we all started going in separate directions. It was good on the one hand, because that meant the media was presenting more diverse stories, better representation of queer-recognizable and relatable storylines and characters, but it did serve to dilute our “force” and we don’t really speak with one singular voice anymore.

“People come into our lives for reasons: we learn from them, we learn about ourselves, and we learn more about life through an altered lens, if only for a time. These are great explorations for a writer who is driven by characters.”

Do you feel like show creators respond to femslash fandom in a visible way, on-screen?

Certainly some show creators respond to femslash fandom in a visible way, on-screen. But the more important thing is there is beginning to be a disconnect. Portrayals on-screen that are denied or downright denigrated off-screen, either by the creators or the actors/actresses. The queerbaiting has become, from what I’ve seen, downright blatant, and yet the show creators will insist “they’re straight!”

Tropes and stereotypes are called that for a reason. They are common and prevalent and define certain groups as distinct from other groups. This is the way storytelling works. Television has the addition of visual cues that also can enhance and layer the storytelling. Supposedly show creators are “master storytellers” — which is why they are being paid money to write stories for television— and yet they claim ignorance or unintentional interpretations of plainly planted tropes and their meanings. What it is, is playing both sides— for the money. They’re afraid of losing audience, or losing advertising sponsors if they commit to a “minority” storyline. They are ignoring that demographics no longer are as accurately measured as they have been in the past because the measuring tools have been slow to adapt to the changing media consumption environment. I believe they fear a backlash that will not materialize.

Do you still care about what’s happening on-screen or does fan fiction meet your needs?

I do care what’s happening on-screen. Fan fiction does fill a need, but for generations to come, being able to see their stories as part of the mainstream conversation will be beneficial for their own mental and physical health. The more television acknowledges the diversity of society the more able are ALL members of that society able to accept all individuals within it as valued and vital. Denigrate a group, either explicitly or by exclusion, and you are telling society that their experiences, their stories don’t matter. In the words of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “ALL stories matter.”

What’s your favorite fan fiction you’ve written? 

I can never really decide on my own what’s my favorite. Usually the one I’m in the middle of writing is favored because it takes so much focus and energy. If I didn’t love it, I couldn’t finish it. But I am most pleased when a story comes together having addressed a specific issue or taken on a specific story technique/structure, and then finding they are strongly embraced by readers. I guess one story that fits that recently is “Nine Months to Love.” I wrote it back in the summer of 2014 for the Swan Queen Big Bang.

Has writing fan fiction changed your life?

Writing has always been an outlet of self-discovery for me, but writing fan fiction has brought me into contact with so many amazing women (and quite a few men) who bring amazing joy to my life with their passion and creativity.

Allaine (Kim Possible, Once Upon a Time, Buffy)

Art by ArtistAbe.

How did you discover femslash fan fiction?

I had known about fan fiction since I went to college in the ’90s and discovered the internet, but I first encountered femslash during Season 4 of Buffy when Tara Maclay became my favorite character on the show, Tara and Willow became the most romantic couple on TV, and I became a huge fan of Amber Benson. I started visiting her message board every day to discuss new episodes, and it was through there that I eventually learned of both Extra Flamey, a website hosting Willow/Tara fan fic, and [email protected], a mailing list that did the same thing.

Why did you decide to get actively involved in writing femslash fan fiction?

This will probably be an unusually specific answer, but “Family,” the sixth episode of Buffy’s fifth season, aired two weeks after the previous episode, and there was a lot of speculation about Tara’s big secret, her evidently casting a spell on the other Scoobies, the end of their relationship. By the time “Family” finally aired, I was freaking out about what might happen. As it happened, this was also Election Night for the 2000 U.S. presidential election, Bush v Gore. Unsurprisingly I was not keen on the notion of Bush becoming president.

That night, within about an hour, I learned first that Tara wasn’t a demon, that she and Willow’s glorious relationship wasn’t over (not for another eighteen months, anyway); and that the networks had called Florida for Gore. The combination of these two events had me in such a delirious state of euphoria that I resolved to start writing my very first Willow/Tara story the next day. And I did, even if the next morning the election had taken a very bad turn. Still, it’s nice to know that some good came from the media calling the election early.

Which pairings do you write about?

I’ve written a lot since 2000, primarily about animation and comic books, but live-action couples as well. I’m not going to list them all, but in a roughly chronological order, there was Willow/Tara and Buffy/Faith (Buffy), then Demona/Original Female Character (Gargoyles), Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn (Batman comics), Kim Possible/Shego (Kim Possible), Andy/Miranda (The Devil Wears Prada), and Emma/Regina (Once Upon a Time).

What about those couples makes them your muse?

My favorite characters in TV shows (Tara notwithstanding) tend to be strong villainesses with at least a sliver of a shot at redemption. They have something about them that says they’re still human beings, something that enables me to sympathize with them. I want them to succeed at something, but obviously not at planetwide genocide or taking over the world or keeping everyone under a Dark Curse forever. That “something” tends to be their personal lives. That applies to at least one of the women in many of my pairings.

Focusing on Ivy/Harley and Kim/Shego because they’ve been the two biggest, the ones who come closest to truly being “muses,” I love all four of them. I hate seeing Harley with Joker, I think Ivy would be much better for her, and I think she’d be good for Ivy as well. It’s bad enough that she can never “save the plants”; it’s even worse that she never seems to keep Harley away from that abusive creep for long. Neither of them deserve that kind of losing streak. (Also they’ve been an “are-they-or-aren’t-they” couple for way, way too long.) Kim and Shego, meanwhile, seem to be the perfect yin/yang hero/villain couple, not that different from, say, Batman/Catwoman. They mirror each other, they have great banter, they’ve worked together, and I think they respect each other. Plus, you know, Shego is just so completely wasted on Dr. Drakken. I don’t believe there are any other characters on that show who are a “match” for either woman, besides themselves.

How have you seen femslash fandom change since you’ve been involved in it?

You mean besides there’s a lot more of it? When I got involved, I think the only canon TV pairings I was aware of (on basic cable, anyway) were Willow/Tara, and Jessie/Katie from “Once and Again”. Now I’ve encountered a lot more canon, and a whole lot more people talking about noncanon. I feel like there isn’t a show on TV that doesn’t have at least a few people talking about subtext between this woman and that. It’s much bigger, much more visible in ways beyond size – and I think because of that, it’s also attacked more, which is a negative change, obviously. I’ve seen more than enough vicious het vs. fem shipper wars than I ever cared to. At least now our fandoms have the numbers to defend themselves.

Do you feel like show creators respond to femslash fandom in a visible way, on-screen?

Ugh. Yes, but not in a good way. I feel like too many television shows have shown themselves to be unreceptive not only to lesbian couples on their programs, but even the discussion of lesbian couples. I realize there are always those shippers who can get a little too passionate, but I feel like some shows have led fans on, “queerbaited” them, and then as soon as the subtext gets a little too overt, as soon as the fanbase becomes a little too loud, the show creators go into full “damage control” mode, claiming nothing is going on between those two women, denying subtext even exists, swearing it will never happen. I don’t want to get into the crap pulled specifically by shows like Warehouse 13, Once Upon a Time, etc., but I feel like producers see the femslash fandoms as large enough to be worth flirting with, but not large enough to be courted.

Do you still care about what’s happening on-screen or does fan fiction meet your needs?

As much as I love fan fiction – and there are a lot of great authors – femslash will never be more than a very small minority on television if fans are content to read fanfic. (Even if I truly believe some of these shows would write lesbian storylines much more poorly than some of the fanfic writers currently writing them.)

Plus, you know, fanfic writers come and go, they disappear, they speed up, they slow down. I know I’ve done that. They can never ultimately be as reliable a resource as having that one couple you ship on your TV screen week after week.

And photo manips can’t really compete with seeing and hearing the actresses reading their lines on TV.

People who read my fics, people whose fics I read, writers and filmmakers on my radio show – literally dozens of my very best, most loved friends over the past fifteen years have been people I met through femslash. Femslash fanfic has helped me create bonds are among the things in my life that that matter the most.

What’s your favorite fan fiction you’ve written? How come? And may I have a link?

I would say “Reap What You Sow”, which is a Harley/Ivy fanfic, but it’s a spinoff from another fan fiction series, “Cat Tales” by Chris Dee, and to better understand what’s going on in “Reap”, you’d have to read all of “Tales”. Which is a spectacular idea, she’s one of the most incredible authors living today. But we’re talking about seventy fanfics.

So I will pick another Harley/Ivy fanfic called “Defying Sanity,” which was the first in a three-part series (all with titles inspired by songs from Wicked) set during Ivy’s least favorite holidays: Halloween, Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s because that story was a change of pace from a lot of my other works. The majority of my stories are action-dramas with a good dose of romance, 20,000 words or more. I think “Defying Sanity” is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever written, and I think it’s got some of the best lines I’ve ever written. I think it does a really good job at depicting the incredibly bumpy road that love between two not-entirely-sane individuals can travel. And of course, one thing it does have in common with most of my stories, it has a happy ending.

Honestly, I don’t think it gets much better than Harley saying, “You always have to get your way, all the way, all the time, Ivy! And if you don’t, you turn into a raving lunatic! And believe me, I know a raving lunatic when I see one!”

Has writing fan fiction changed your life?

Immensely. It made me a much better writer. I can’t read the fanfics I wrote in 2001-2002 without cringing, but the cringing gets less and less through 2003 before going away altogether. It made me feel better about myself. Not only was I actually creating something, but other people seemed to appreciate it. I became one of the very first Kim/Shego authors, and through that I attracted a nice-sized following, and it made me feel special when people became passionate about my work, and even started shipping “Kigo” themselves.

Indirectly it led to the creation of my podcast, which I ended up hosting for four years, interviewing the great femslash fanfic authors that I myself had encountered over the years in various fandoms. And for all of these reasons, I was introduced to some of the most amazing people. People who read my fics, people whose fics I read, writers and filmmakers on my radio show – literally dozens of my very best, most loved friends over the past fifteen years have been people I met through femslash. Femslash fanfic has helped me create bonds are among the things in my life that that matter the most.

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