WHY HIDING YOUR SEXUALITY FROM FACEBOOK IS A FULL TIME JOB:
A new article by our favorite magazine, Newsweek (we think they hired a new gay, this one is so much better than the last one!) examines how it is becoming more and more difficult to hide your sexuality from Facebook and Twitter, where control is minimal. Friends can leave comments on your wall or upload a picture to your profile in the blink of an eye, undoing all those privacy settings you meticulously programmed. Wall posts and tweets can be deleted but it is often too late. Nothing is in our control anymore!
“Social-networking sites like Facebook and Twitter simply don’t allow for compartmentalization. A buddy once told me that his gay friends and his straight friends are like light and dark liquor—ideally, they shouldn’t be mixed. But social networking forces you to shuffle your decks; friends, family, drunken hookups, and co-workers all get equal treatment—equal weight in a news feed or stream. Presenting a partial portrait of who you are becomes tricky.“
“Closeted people can’t just watch their own behavior anymore: they have to monitor and somehow orchestrate the behavior of others, 24 hours a day, in real time.”
He actually goes on to make some good points, which is pretty awesome for Newsweek:
A close friend of mine, from whom I kept my sexuality for years, apologizes to this day for having made me feel I couldn’t tell her. She credits me with shifting her attitudes about gays and lesbians; when forced to choose between my awesome friendship and her bigotry, she made the obvious choice.
… The 2008 book Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth and Happiness… rgues that people make better choices through optimal “choice architecture,” systems that remove the effort from making the choice. For example, people are more likely to opt for healthy cafeteria foods if the offerings are arranged in a way that displays those foods prominently. Social networking radically alters the choice architecture of coming out of the closet. It’s not inconceivable to think that Facebook will become a significant part of the gay-rights movement, when people increasingly come out simply because to not do so seems like the bigger hassle.
I know a lot of people who actually avoided coming out just by being open about their lives on facebook. You?
It’s never too late to come out to your family by becoming a fan of Autostraddle on facebook. We did!
Sean Hayes, Kristen Chenoweth and Margaret Cho were on The View today when news came in of Rue McClanahan’s death:
Newlyweds Anna Huang and Alison Stocking are the first women to be featured in the Vows video series about weddings from The New York Times. Huang and Stocking, who married last month in Connecticut, discuss the “thunderbolt kind of chemistry” in their relationship and Huang’s proposal to Stocking during a trip to Paris last fall. (@nytimes)
LESBIAN SOCCER TEAM:
This piece highlights South Africa’s only openly lesbian soccer (football) team. While South Africa is perceived to be a liberal country in reality these women have sought refuge in the team due to the violent homophobic acts in the country. The star soccer player from another team was openly gay and was raped, tortured and murdered. They are forced to practice on a muddy, dirty piece of land because no other teams will let them join. (@bbcuk)
Gay flight attendants at KLM Royal Dutch Airlines made a request to be excused from flying to Iran because the country is regarded as one of the world’s most dangerous places for LGBT people, particularly for stewards whose work requires them to spend the night. The request was officially denied yesterday.(@towleroad)
A committee will meet at Seton Hall University in New Jersey today to consider whether the Catholic school should cancel a course on gay marriage scheduled for the fall. (@nj)