Gay Marriage in Maine Loses; 53% Vote Yes on 1, Homos Remain Unpopular

Frank Schubert is happy his boyfriend will have to stop pressuring him to make a commitment

Frank Schubert is happy his boyfriend will have to stop pressuring him to make a commitment now

We were live-blogging the election last night so that we could all share in the joy together. Unfortunately that joy was ripped from our little innocent homosexual hands when nearly 53% of Maine voters voted to repeal the law granting same-sex marriage, with 47 percent opposing.

This was a big letdown, and hopes were high going into the race. Early returns boosted our morale and made us optimistic, but the last votes coming in were mostly for the other site. Maine seemed winnable for a lot of reasons. Firstly, it’s pretty small, upping our ability to do the most effective type of campaigning — getting ’em face-to-face. It’s also a liberal state and No on 1 managed to raise more money than Yes on 1, though it’s worth noting that Yes on 1 crushed the No People with out-of-state funding.

The race was tight all night and the No on 1 effort was applauded for not making many of the mistakes made by California last year, when Prop 8 won and Obama won and we didn’t know if we were supposed to feel happy or sad.

There are still 100,000 absentee votes to count and we lost the vote by a very small margin. We’ll let you know if we hear anything definitive about a recount. Open Left says the campaign managers will discuss in the morning:

This’ll be the final update for the night. Things are, to put it plainly, looking slim … The No On 1 campaign manager, Jesse Connolly, just went down with us to the ballroom and announced that the race is too close to call and they are still counting. The counting could continue well into the morning. There will be no concession or declaration of victory, it appears, tonight. Things are extremely tight and no news media so far has called the race either.

There was good news in North Carolina and Houston, as well as in Washington, where Referendum 71, the “everything but marriage” bill, has been approved! It was approved by a VERY NARROW MARGIN however, so stay on your toes. We gotta keep fighting, is 76% of Americans approve of something similar to marriage for gays, we should be doing much better than that!

So, what’s going on? America has become its own worst enemy! Our Founding Fathers had ideas about freedom of speech and religion. The idea, as rocky as it was in a far more segregated society than we have now, was to protect people from inequity and oppression. Citizens would be free and equal, secure in their independent and ineffable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Now those very freedoms created to protect the little people have been co-opted by the Wrong People With Power and that theft has turned America into a refuge and breeding ground for extremist religious socially conservative twatwaffles.

For a system built on ideals, I think we can say that the system is corrupt? Of course our lives here are far better than life in most countries on this planet. But we seem to be the only ones confused about the “character” of the place we call home. Denial much?

“Gays are not oppressed on a whim, but because of the specific need of capitalism for the nuclear family. The nuclear family, as the primary — and inexpensive — provider and carer for the workforce, fulfilled in the nineteenth century and still fulfills an important need for capitalism. Alternative sexualities represent a threat to the family model because they provide an alternative role model for people. Gays are going to be in the front line of attack whenever capitalism wants to reinforce family values.”

(Louise Tierney)

Last year Obama won the election. This year he could’ve done something for us and he didn’t.

See, it’s not just abut marriage. It’s about the conversations that we’re forced to engage in — the bigotry and hatred and homophobia and xenophobia thrust at us sanctimonouisly because the haters know they live in a country where their intolerance for us is endorsed by the government we all live under. And the government is in charge. The best opponent we’ve had to the government’s endorsement of “separate but unequal” is The Media, but ultimately the media, obviously, is not in charge.

That being said there’s still hope, y’all. We keep fighting because we win more people over every time. The margin was much slimmer this year than it was in California. We have a serious disadvantage b/c there aren’t that many gay people in this country, or in the world even. Somewhere between .5% and 4% of the US Population identifies as lesbian, gay or bisexual. In contrast, 14.8% of Americans are Hispanic or Latino alone and 13.4% are African-American.

In the mean time, we do need to support one another as best we can! If the government doesn’t have our best interests in mind, we need to watch out for each other; supporting women and gay owned businesses, being nice to each other on the internet, helping other women and lesbians to succeed instead of being Lobsters, and cultivating the supportive friendships and environments where women can feel comfortable being themselves and eventually come out to those who they know, and who know them. Because that’s where the most change happens, but it’s the hardest action of all.

We need our voices to each other to be so strong and so powerful that we’ll be capable, sometimes, of not even hearing the voices from above that want to keep us down. The fight is slow but we’ll win someday. Or we might as well believe that we will, ’cause then we’ll be a lot happier.

“The dreams of the left are always beautiful – the imagining of a better world, the damnation of the present one. This faith, this luminescent anger – these are worthy of being called human. These are the Beautiful that an age produces.”
Tony Kushner
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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3225 articles for us.


  1. Dear friends,

    Dear people who are actual Americans, and not those who wish to strip an entire bloc of our citizenry of their right to equality before the law,

    We fought a very good and tough fight. We fought as a combined-arms team. This is a military strategy used to great success by the United States Marine Corps. It entails equipping the smallest units with an integrated platform of different weapons which causes the enemy to be unable to seek refuge from one weapon without exposing himself to another. That is what we did in our arguments against the anti-gay camp. When they tried to use the Biblical argument (again, basing arguments on a book which claims that hares are ruminants, or that giants roamed the earth, or that bats are birds, or that there are four-legged fowl…among other things), we countered them on that front; when they used the “it ain’t natural” argument, we thrashed them on that. When they used the “that’s the way it’s always been” argument, we met them head on. They had no where to hide, and it showed in their incoherent screams. In other words “we did guuuud” :).

    Our cause is not lost at all. This vote was a barometric test. Remember that for every step back, we have taken two or three steps forward. Our own governor, Jim Doyle, had the cojones to extend rights to same-sex couples, even though there is a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Additionally, the recent hate-crimes bill and the fact that DC is imminently about to legalize same-sex marriage as well as the full-expansion of rights for same-sex couples in Washington state is cause for hope enough. The tide is slowly turning toward support of same-sex marriage. The anti-gay side may have won a pyrrhic victory tonight, but it came at the cost of 2.6 million dollars. Yes, our side spent more, but we are still committed to this fight, and with every failure, we learn. The fact that they’re winning by such small margins now is a testament to the turning tide. Add on the fact that the majority of Americans do support granting full rights to same-sex couples along the lines of “everything but marriage”, as well as the repeal of DADT, as well as Congressional support for removing DADT…. we have too much to keep us optimistic here. 10% of states will still have legal same-sex marriage.

    The people who oppose the right to equality before the law, who oppose the right to live as one would choose and not be told that they are a second-class citizen by the state, will not stop until they have fully marginalized those they don’t like.

    We hear a lot of whining and complaining from the anti-gay side about how their rights are being taken away, yet not one person has actually been able to tell me what rights they’ve lost. Not one person from the anti-gay side has been able to illustrate to me how the immunity of churches has been actually threatened, and they have been even less successful with drawing the logical line from legalizing same-sex marriage to the loss of rights for churches. When pressed on these assertions, they fail to deliver any real substance. Thus is the nature of their campaign.

    This issue is so important to me. It means so much because I know full well that even my rights as a heterosexual are on the line. If my friends’ and neighbors’ rights as provided by the secular state aren’t safe from Christian domination, then mine aren’t either.

    Friends, we scared them. We scared them witless and shitless. They may have won, but we left an indelible impression on them. How do I know this? Look at the way these people react when you approach them with logic and science. They scream and yell and they basically act like little kitties trapped in a corner. They realize that the stream is getting deeper and deeper and that it’s flowing faster and faster as they try to keep from floating away with it.

    This is not an anti-Christian effort, despite my well-known suspicions of the most powerful religion in the United States and its poor record on human rights. Most Christians known personally to me are supporters of equality as much as I am. This is not an anti-conservative effort, though many conservatives sadly expose their hypocritical view regarding citizens’ rights when they oppose equality.

    Keep fighting, and keep going. We’re going to win eventually. Even conservative commentators such as Jonah Goldberg, among others, have acknowledged that same-sex equality is essentially inevitable in this country.

    We will win. We’re going to have to put up with people who call themselves Christians and who oppose this effort spitting in our faces and insulting us. Two can play at that game, though, and while we are best served by keeping our heads level and keeping our civility about us, we too can show them what nastiness looks like. If they want to play on that level – fine. However, as those with the more evolved thinking, should do our best to keep the discussion logical and level headed. I certainly don’t always succeed in that regard.

    The anti-gay side is gloating. Let them. They won’t be gloating eventually. Let them savor it while they can, as these times will serve as fond memories when they are being defeated at the polls and in the chambers.

    By the way, I think it is high time we started taxing the church. As George Carlin (PBUH) said: “If they wanna get involved in politics and public policy, let ’em pay their fucking admission price like everybody else! Hey, the Catholic Church alone could wipe out the federal budget deficit if all you did was tax them on their real estate holdings.”

  2. Very sad that enough people were swayed to be this cruel to a group of people in love. It’s tragic that people could vote for something as un-American as Question 1. I can only wish these people will learn compassion somewhere along the way; their religion seems to have avoided teaching that.

  3. What a bunch of loosers! Mainers spoke in a loud voice! Yes on 1 passed thankfully! You people are the minority, not the majority! Minorities actually believe the majority needs to change to deal with them. Well it’s not going to happen, not in Maine anyway!

    • It’s spelled “losers”, you idiot. If you’re going to insult us, at least spell it correctly. And yes, we (the sexually satisfied homos and thinkers of intelligent and independent thoughts) are definitely the minority. Good day, sir.

    • when we finally win, CPT, i want you to know we won’t be coming to your websites to yell at you.

      we’ll just be sitting in our houses with our friends enjoying and celebrating the love, instead of finding people to yell at, hate on, pick on, criticize and ostracize and gloat towards. love winning will be enough for us, we won’t need your distress to fuel the joy of our success.

      this isn’t 2nd grade, c’mon.

    • Ooh, and such a huge majority! You sure have a mandate!

      I think you could possibly be a little bit more arrogant and self-centred – you should try harder, it’s charming.

    • What, are you like googling gay websites to comment on? That’s great because the more assholes like you go to gay websites to harass everyone, the more traffic you are generating to gay websites; And the more traffic you generate, the more advertising dollars you bring to the website. So thanks for supporting the gays!!!!!

      Oh and p.s. you totally have gay cooties now.

    • last time i checked it doesnt actually impact you at all, therefore requiring no change on your part.

    • I’m a bit confused. What exactly does “the majority need to change to deal with them”…besides what box your ignorant self checks on a ballot?

  4. I love/have always loved that clip. Sometimes when the world has me all upset I like to youtube old TWW scenes (I am just that cool) and they usually do make me feel a little better about life. The West Wing during the Aaron Sorkin days always brought the awesome. ALWAYS.

    Now for something a bit more on topic, this shit is fucked up. It is beyond all levels of inappropriate that civil rights are being voted on. Fucked right on up.

  5. Please explain how the law is unfair to gay individuals. I personally am against gay “marriage” but for civil unions to carry the same weight legally as marriage. However, I believe that your 14th amendment argument is flawed. Everyone has the same rights. A gay man has the right to marry a woman just as a straight man does, meaning, the law doesn’t state “only straight individuals may marry.” Your argument should be the expansion of everyone’s right to marry the same sex. Although, this argument cannot tout the catchy phrases of “equal rights” or “unconstitutional”. I will preempt your argument that everyone has the right to marry the person they love by then using that same argument for a woman’s right to marry her pets.

    • Disregarding the fact that comparing 2 consenting adult humans to that of a person marrying a pet is completely ludicrous, I would like to address your argument that the law does not discriminate based on sexual orientation because a “gay man has the right to marry a woman just as a straight man does”. If that is how you see it, this stance opens the argument that the law is being discriminatory based on gender rather than sexual orientation because a man has the right to marry a woman, but a woman does not have this same right to marry a woman. No matter which way you paint the picture, it is still discrimination. In the argument of bestiality and polygamy which are so often used by conservatives fails to take into account that these practices are outlawed to EVERYONE, whereas marrying a man is only outlawed to men while it is allowed for women, and marrying a woman is only illegal for other women. If something is legal for some people, you cannot criminalize this same act for others based on their minority status, whether it is based on gender or sexual orientation. It is two sides to the same coin.

      • great point. I’m going to co-opt this argument for myself. I always just get exasperated when people bring out the beastiality agreements. I’m like “are you really that insane?” But this is a logical way to get back at ’em.

        jesus Christ this whole thing infuriates me. :(

        • seriously not to toot my own dog’s horn, but tinkerbell said it quite perfectly:

          “What I do not enjoy is people saying a woman marrying a woman will lead to a woman marrying a dog. I do not want to marry a woman. I am very little and she would crush my bones. Humans have human laws and dogs have dog laws, human laws should be equal for all humans and they can be equal for all humans without involving dogs. What is wrong with you people.”

          • I will never stop loving Tinkerbell. I love her deeply and madly and truly but even despite a love that ferocious, I know better than to think we can ever be legally wed. Indeed, Tinkerbell, what is wrong with those people.

    • i don’t understand the point of your semantic argument? “gay people have the right to marry, just not EACH OTHER, WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA” so weak, dude. and anyway then you say “your argument should be the expansion of everyone’s right to marry the same sex.” it is, have you been reading? same-sex marriage. it’s what’s for dinner.

      sapphicsass makes excellent points. you seem to be cleaving to the fact that “marriage” is currently defined in the legislature as between a man and a woman, and this should be taken for granted as immutable. as though NOTHING THAT’S WRITTEN can ever be changed! that’s what amendments are FOR – to amend things that are contradictory to our values of liberty and self-determination, that were maybe written when society wasn’t so cool, like when there were slaves and stuff. to grant rights, not take them away (cough DOMA). know how we did it in canada? parliament amended the Constitution of Canada’s definition of marriage as such:

      “Marriage, for civil purposes, is the lawful union of two persons to the exclusion of all others.”

      Two persons. I think that has a nice ring to it for straight couples, too.

      and as for the church’s stake in the matter? the whole rest of it is devoted to making sure nobody has to get near the icky gay marriages if they don’t want to:

      3. It is recognized that officials of religious groups are free to refuse to perform marriages that are not in accordance with their religious beliefs.

      3.1 For greater certainty, no person or organization shall be deprived of any benefit, or be subject to any obligation or sanction, under any law of the Parliament of Canada solely by reason of their exercise, in respect of marriage between persons of the same sex, of the freedom of conscience and religion guaranteed under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms or the expression of their beliefs in respect of marriage as the union of a man and woman to the exclusion of all others based on that guaranteed freedom.

      bam. everybody can still do what they want, only now things are more fair. civil unions came years before all this, too, but it was obvious that there was farther to go. separation of church and state, dude; doesn’t take a rocket surgeon.

    • A man doesn’t just marry any woman. A man marries the woman he loves, one assumes. Discrimination lies in the fact that gay men don’t love women, unless you count Lady Gaga, or Madonna, or Britney.

      You can marry who you love. We can’t. That’s why the law is unfair.

      • Again, you attack me but not the argument. Please address it not me. I did not present it in an antagonistic way but rather in a reasonable repudiation to your side and would like to hear your rebuttal.

        • I find the comparison of a gay marriage to bestiality to be inherently antagonistic and offensive.

          The point I was trying to make through my “snide remark” is that a healthy, loving relationship between two consenting adults is in no way similar to a woman marrying her dog, and your use of this comparison has in no way preempted the fact that two consenting adults in love should be able to marry each other, regardless of their gender.

          This isn’t an argument, Kevin. This is our lives. This is about people wanting to be with the person they love and know that they don’t have to worry about tomorrow because they aren’t discriminated against by their government.

          • I apologize that you read it that way, I did not write that to make an analogy between a homesexual and an animal. I wrote to refute and argument that you could marry what you love, however you added consentual adult which would make animal marriage unbinding. I can accept that. However, you present in the end of your statement that the government discriminates against LBGT community but you fail to elaborate. I prefer to allow reason over emotion to establish laws, because emotion produces people that are normally refered to as bigots.

          • human laws are different than ANIMAL LAWS. Dogs are not protected by the constitution. This is stupid.

            Seriously, I just have questions for anyone who relies on our unhappiness to fuel their achievements. We don’t go to your websites, dude.

          • FYI Kevin, you also misspelled ‘mispelled’. And CONSENSUAL. Just for future reference. Sorry, bad spelling is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Coincidentally, bigots and people who make silly comparisons are also pet peeves!

          • I don’t understand, are you questioning that the government discriminates against the LGBT community? In the majority of American states employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity is legal – there is no federal protection. Only 13 states have laws against housing discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity – again, no federal protection. DOMA prevents even couples lucky enough to live in a state with marriage equality from accessing federal marriage rights, like .. a social security pension, family visitation rights, joint parenting rights, domestic violence intervention, tax-free property transfer, joint adoption. DADT is another example.

            Anyway, I don’t want to get into listing facts that are readily available on the internet. I don’t see how you could come to a reasoned conclusion that banning same-sex marriage is anything but discriminatory, and I don’t agree with you putting the burden of proof on us to show you this.

          • Kevin, you have to understand that people are going to be upset and angry after an event like Maine. There are times when we are completely willing to convince you of why same-sex marriage is about equality, and there are times when we feel defeated, helpless and angry. Yesterday was definitely an example of the latter, so you coming here and saying “please explain why you deserve this” understandably upset people. Sometimes you just don’t want to have to convince the entire majority of why you’re a person with feelings too, you just want to be treated like everyone else and get married in a land of rainbows and unicorns.

            I do hope that you go on to think more about same-sex marriage and LGBT rights following this discussion.

          • Don’t tell us not to get emotional when our government is actively making us into second-class citizens. Emotion is not the enemy of logic, fanaticism is. Fanaticism is what leads to bigotry. Of course we’re emotional, that’s the point. I’d love to disconnect and not have to feel the sting every time some group of voters says I’m inferior. But that’s not going to change anything. We need both emotion and logic to win this fight.

            Since you seem to value logic so much, I’m confused about why you don’t see that the US’s current laws are in fact discriminatory. It’s pretty self-evident. If you’re looking for a longer refutation, Saphicsass did a great job earlier. It’s pointless to argue with people like you anyway. Riese is right, what exactly compels you guys to come to gay spaces and rant/gloat? So unnecessary.

          • I can’t respond to everyone. Obviously you are smarter than I because I can’t spell every word correctly when typing my term paper on this forum. Coincidently, this makes me a bigot, which seems to be anyone who disagrees with you on any premise. I don’t need spelling, grammatical rants or name calling to make my argument. I thank Lucia for at least a coherent argument for govt discrimination. I am sorry for coming to this forum to get some answers, instead I got 20 people resorting to name calling and personal attacks.

  6. Definitely something that is sad in our society. I am not a homosexual but I can’t help but be saddened by this.

    I was born with a visual impairment and spent almost 21 years of my life in a small town in the state of Wyoming. I was picked on almost daily at school and home life wasn’t much better. It got to the point where it was a battle for me to just get up ever day. At times I recall in my depression wondering what the hell was so different about me that made me so much worse than them? After all, I couldn’t see what they saw and nor did they know what my vision was like. As I can see well enough to get around well enough, I just can’t drive. Yet the question was something that still is something that I ask myself, even though I know the answer.

    The answer was right in front of me, and the answer was that I am just as human as they are. Only if they would have seen it that way. Only if we didn’t focus on the sexuality, color, disability, gender, or whatever of a person and instead we focused on that they are a person. I know I didn’t receive anything equal in my education and that it’s something that has made for a painful life for me. As I have also been diagnosed with PTSD and Bi Polar disorder. Every day I think about how somebody within that same school must be getting the same crap I did and I hate that feeling.

    One thing I have realized is that the best ways to deal with unequal treatment of the past is to fight against the unequal treatment of the now. That is why I can’t wait for this to come to a vote again in California, so we can make this right. I sure as hell wish we didn’t have to and that no state would have to.

    • It’s the sad reality that we have to fight just to be who we are. “Only if we didn’t focus on the sexuality, color, disability, gender, or whatever of a person and instead we focused on that they are a person.” .. word. I wish it were true.

  7. Oh how embarrassing that Louise Tierney quote is.
    It’s not merely irrational and wrong, but also fuzzy-headed paranoid anti-thinking.
    If we’re wasting our efforts opposing capitalism, when we should be opposing bigotry and injustice, no wonder we didn’t win. We’re fighting the wrong enemy.
    Yes the tide of opinion in our favour is still rising. But that opinion is influenced strongly by how well we present our own case. Ms Tierney’s inappropriate scapegoating of economics does not help us advance the cause of equal rights.

  8. Kevin’s suggestion that everybody, gay and straight, has the same rights is mistaken. I have the right to marry a woman; a lesbian does not have the same right as me.
    Our rights are not equal.
    The suggestion that ‘civil union’ is ‘separate but equal’ to marriage is likewise mistaken. Century after century of married legislators and judges have been incrementally granting ever more rights and benefits to married couples. You know that the entitlement of gay couples to every single one of those rights will be challenged in court by bigots. “Oh yes, they have a civil union, but that doesn’t apply to adoption/visitation/superannuation/inheritance/taxation/whatever”

  9. Kevin, your ignorance is astounding. It is not our job to educate you where you have failed to educate yourself. There is a plethora of information available to you regarding discrimination.

  10. The only thing I can say right now is thank you Autostraddle for being here this morning when so many of us are so sad. If it weren’t for people like you, it would be so much harder to keep hope alive. My condolences go out to all the couples in Maine who won’t be able to get married now. Some days just suck, but we’ll get through it because of hope and love and family and communities like this one that Riese and the rest of the girls have built for us.

  11. Sometime in the not-too-distant future, marriage equality will be real. And shortly after that, many, many states will be embarrassed for not getting there sooner.

  12. “A gay man has the right to marry a woman just as a straight man does, meaning, the law doesn’t state “only straight individuals may marry.””
    ~Kevin, man against gay marriage and love

    Come on now, is that really your argument? That we are fighting for nothing because we actually AREN’T discriminated against. What comes to mind when reading this is “duh”, and GAY MEN DON’T WANNA MARRY WOMEN, AND GAY LADIES DON’T WANNA MARRY MEN”. How did you get that out of our arguments? Sure the law says we could if we wanted to, but that’s not what we want. Would you be happy the rest of your life if we could pick who you marry? Or, how would you possibly live married to a MAN? That is what you are proposing, that we shut up and marry who you say we are supposed to marry. Let me arrange your marriage for you. That would be fun.

    I can’t remember the last time we had a hater on here. Wonder how he found us. It’s funny that he comes here thinking he can change our minds and beat out our arguments.

    No hate. I just hope he sees why equality is important someday.

  13. I admire Autostraddle’s positive attitude regardless of the results last night. Even if you don’t live in America, even if you don’t live in the North East, it still affects gay rights-in terms of a historical context. In 10 years,(and at the rate it IS moving-maybe even less)I would imagine at least half the country’s states will have legalized gay marriage.
    So yeah, it’s frustrating to watch but I do have hope that even through losing we are still gaining ground.

  14. I don’t understand why you even have referendums on this. This is why you elect representatives. At referendums, usually only those who care deeply about the issue vote while those who are not directly affected stay at home. And most of these “indifferent” voters would probably be in favour of equal rights if asked.

    In 2008, the Marriage Act in Norway was amended to include same sex marriage, and other laws regarding adoption and in vitro fertilization were changed to give gay and lesbian couples the same rights as straight couples. The issue was debated and decided on in Parliament. Of course, polls showed that the majority of the population was in favour of the amendments, but it was never even considered to hold a referendum.

    I’m 29 and in my lifetime we have only held one referendum; yes or no to joining the EU. This was a major issue affecting everyone and with both positive and negative effects, so the people should decide.

    Whether or not one person deserves the same rights as the next just isn’t that controversial.

    • I agree! The idea of having binding referenda on anything is crazy to me. I live in New Zealand and while we do have citizen-initiated referenda, they aren’t binding and really aren’t anything more than an expensive way to send a message. I think there have been 10 referenda in New Zealand ever, including Government-initiated ones regarding the electoral system and liquor licensing.

      There’s currently a (very small) movement to make citizen-initiated referenda binding (by the crazies) but that isn’t going to go anywhere because the majority of people understand that could lead to things like this and California.

  15. What I would give for a national Democratic figure to decry the use of ballot initiatives to take away rights. This is so upsetting.

    (Also, when did Autostraddle get trolls?!)

    • We got trolls when the sexually frustrated hate-mongers realized they didn’t actually have enough facts or brain power to write their own logical articles to persuade even themselves that they had a valid point.

  16. This saddens me…i was extremely crushed by the results but still held my head up high and proud. But reading this, the comments, just tears me apart. i can no longer be angry at those bigots but be extremely sad that there are so many other people carrying this unnecessary hatred. Again i weep.

    • I’ve decided that after the public option passes maybe these people will be able to pay for their therapy and we won’t have to deal with them anymore. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed! It’s okay to cry, bigots! Probably someone someday will love you, even if your mother didn’t and you’re emotionally stunted and heartless!

  17. Kevin,

    I’m reading over the responses and I feel Lucia said it well — feelings and tension are high and it wasn’t the right time or place to expect every answer to be totally clear. But I actually think most of the responses you got were remarkably coherent and informative.
    But I’d also like you to consider the fact that actually thinking that asking other human beings to explain to you why marrying their girlfriends is not the same as marrying their golden retriever is incredibly offensive and suggests a presumption that we are, in some way, less than human. You put the burden of proof on us to explain why we deserve human rights.
    I can’t imagine asking you, or anyone, to explain to me why they deserve equal rights. I think it’s sad that we live in a world where someone can ask those questions and not realize how inherently offensive they are, or be shocked that such questions are categorized as bigotry.
    I think there are a lot of reasonable answers provided here to your questions. But please give us the benefit of the doubt that the questions you began with are, indeed, slurs in and of themselves. We are tired, and hurt, and offended by 53% of Maine. Consider walking a mile in our shoes.
    We don’t have very many safe spaces, Kevin. For a lot of the women here, they have to bite their tongue all day and get ganged up on, insulted, and made to feel less than human by people they can’t talk back to. So forgive those people who didn’t offer reason.
    I hope you take Lucia’s most recent comment to heart and that we’ve made you think about these issues, and the hurt behind them.
    Despite a litany of reasonable answers, you never once gave us the benefit of the doubt. All we ask of you is the benefit of the doubt. In return, we give it to you.
    Best of everything to you, Kevin.

  18. I love l.l.bean and snow drifts and flannel and nalgene bottles and lobster and campiness (though not so much camping). In other words, I love Maine. I really thought Maine would pull through- it’s a state full of BEARS AND FLANNEL for fucks sake.

    As a MA resident, I’m lucky enough to be able to say that gay marriage was legal before I ever even had a girlfriend. I never worried about whether I would be allowed to get married someday if I wanted to (…though I don’t). Until last year, I really took that shit for granted. State lines were rose colored glasses and naive as I was, I just thought it was a matter of time that other states jumped on Massachusetts’ band wagon. It’s been like… forever since gay marriage was legalized here and we’re alive. We’re fine. The Red Sox won the World Series that year (for the first time since 1918). The Patriots won the super bowl the following year. How could people say or think same sex marriage is like this totally terrible, catastrophic, fire and brimstone kind of deal when they’ve got MA to look at as a case study? When Prop 8 passed, I was completely shocked. After all the mobilization and anger and sadness that came out of that- I didn’t think Maine would go the same way.

    This was a year of awesome milestones for equality, with more LGBTQ activists each day. So many people in MA (myself included) gave up Saturdays to canvas, I convinced my ME friends to put in the effort to vote. I didn’t want this to happen again. Even if my ‘ex’ is a raging cunt and I hate her fucking guts, I didn’t want her mom and step mom to have to live in a state where their marriage wasn’t valid. I was hopeful. And then this happened again. I’m sad and I’m hurt and I’m pissed off and I’m angry. But I’m not disheartened and I hope no one else is. It’s not over.

  19. Why would you call anyone a twatwaffle and then call THEM a bigot???? Obviously bigotry goes both ways. Just because people have religious beliefs and they have a right to their beliefs, just as you do, it doesn’t make them “twatwaffles”. Sounds like there’s more hate going on here than love.

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