Ellen DeGeneres Rocks American Idol Debut, Excels at All Things

ELLEN DEGENERES: Ellen DeGerenes made her American Idol debut last night. It was pretty much all worth it if just for the moment that she made everyone step forward, step back, step to the side, step back quickly, step up again, etc., as I have been waiting for someone to do that since that ridiculous method of elimination began in the 80s or whenevs:

According to the AP, Andy Dehnart, editor of the popular reality TV blog realityblurred.com and a lecturer at Stetson University, said DeGeneres seemed “more polished and on-point than the people who’ve been sitting at that table for eight years.”

VOGUE: Judging from this leaked blurry shot of the March cover, the styling [for Tina Fey] isn’t as innovative: Face-obscuring light + wind machine + Photoshopping already-thin women = Snoozefest. [Blackbook Magazine] (@jezebel)

GLEE: Molly Shannon is set to debut on GLEE, where she’ll play the enemy of Sue Sylvester (@ew)

“Her character, Brenda Castle, is described as the busty 45-year-old new astronomy teacher and badminton coach at McKinley High School who is both an alcoholic and a pill-popper.

“She becomes Sue’s enemy,” says a Glee insider.”

LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan set the record straight regarding rumors that Samantha Ronson had beat her up. It is always the rumors people spread about you afterwards that you back together… (@us)

LADY GAGA: Lady Gaga would become a go-go dancer again if fame runs out. Sounds good! (@missceleb) Also her Dad allegedly set up a collaboration between Gaga and Britney Spears. Eeek. La-la-la-love Britney, but I hope she’s singing backup. (@thesun)

FANGIRLS: PopMatters looks at Rags to Riches, The Fangirl Phenomena, even tracing

Urbandictionary.com defines “fangirls” as “young fanatical females… (who) suffer an absurd affinity for a randomly chosen object of obsession and base their life/daily schedule around it.” But we think of them as the girls who line up for hours and even days before meet and greets, book or CD signings, ticket sales openings, or some such event where their dearly beloveds are involved. Armed with homemade signs, T-Shirts and brain-splitting screams, fangirls can turn critically un-acclaimed albums double platinum and make shakily written fiction into a worldwide phenomenon. I can’t help but feel that if these girls gathered at the edge of the Red Sea, it would part.

The article looks at the phenomena historically and how fangirls have been a key element in the careers of many legends like Frank Sinatra and The Beatles.

AUTOSTRADDLE: Remember January when we introduced Autostraddle Calendar Girls? Well now it’s February. So we’ve got your brand-new hot talented lesbian girl over on Autofocus, meet Julia she’s Miss February.

Also yes Turn Your Televisionary On, We’re Back in Business — what kind of TV coverage do you want to see at Autostraddle?

JOHN MAYER: John Mayer, who I’ve managed to avoid thinking about ever since his first album overtook my college like wildfire, I consequently fell in love with “1984” and “Your Body is a Wonderland” and the song “comfortable” broke my fucking heart right open and still makes me cry to even think about it (srsly my eyes are watering), has been doing a lot of weird things lately, for oh the past few years or so. Since i didn’t like his second album too much, I stopped caring.

But this interview is kinda wild. I’m always inclined to defend people no-one else likes, maybe because I appreciate honesty so f*cking much. But I’m also inclined to just agree with whatever jezebel says:

“What’s wrong with John Mayer?” we asked last month. A brand new Playboy interview provides a plausible answer: he’s stoned and pretentious. Also: not good with racial issues.”

While it’s tempting to use the new DSM to diagnose Mayer, one commenter has a non-psychiatric explanation for his nonsensical logorrhea: “he is baked off his ass all the time.” Mayer’s interview with Playboy supports this hypothesis.

I think we all knew this guy in high school: the guy who always wanted to talk about, like, what does “time” really mean? Except that while that guy might have been a little pretentious, he was basically harmless. And Mayer’s interview reveals something more fucked up than a little stoner logic. Gossip sites have been salivating over Mayer’s claim that Jessica Simpson was like “crack cocaine” and “sexual napalm,” but more troubling are Mayer’s comments about race and sexuality.

And yes, I believe this independently. Dude says some fucked-up shit. Offensive language, offensive statements, and the most disturbing idea ever of his “David Duke dick.”

RIHANNA: Rihanna is all over the place these days. This month, she’s covering i-D magazine:

SAME-SEX OFFENSE: Same-Sex Couples in Armani Ad Anger Parent Group: “Armani Exchange came up with a “Share the Love” Valentine’s Day campaign, which is unique in that it features same-sex couples. However, the American Family Association’s OneMillionMoms.com is upset by the ads. The organization aims to rid our society of the “filth” their children must contend with every day.” (@nymag)


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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3211 articles for us.

26 Comments

    • the ads are super hot! embarrassing admission, though: i think i’m so inured to quasi-homoerotic photos of women in advertising that i didn’t pick up on the lesbo one at first. i was like “what same-sex couples? i just see two women caressing each other.” you know what I mean?

  1. john mayer is such an asshole…i think he was trying to seemy witty but he came off racist and kind of a complete jerk

  2. john mayer is such a douce bag. it’s actually quite painful. i don’t even want to read that interview because i know it will make me cringe. every time he opens his mouth and speaks i cringe. but battle studies is a very very good album. i gave up on john mayer years ago, but i heard it in my friend’s car and had to buy it. and it’s so good i want to have sex with it.

  3. Okay, I woke up to this twitter stir over Mr. Mayer and decided to read the article in its entirety before forming an opinion, and honestly it’s not that bad. I mean, I appreciate his honestly a lot.

    The think that he said that caused the most outrage was that his dick was supposedly a white supremacist. He says this after stating that his heart is more like benetton. Sounds to me like he’s saying he’s emotionally open to, and likes the idea of dating a woman of any race, but he tends to be mostly physically attracted to white women. I can’t get mad at him for this. I don’t think it makes you a terrible person if you find yourself mostly attracted to your own race, as long as its not for reasons other than physical attributes. How can I get mad at him for that. He could have chosen to use a less controversial phrase than ‘white supremacist’, because I don’t think everyone took the time to analyze what he was saying, but it’s too late for that.

    He also said a lot of things that both I agreed with and actually made me like him more. Even when he talked about someone telling him he had a “hood pass” because apparently black people like him. He said if you really have a “hood pass” then you can call it a “nigger pass”, because if you were in that deep people would allow you to say stuff like that. (Sidenote: I see exactly what he’s saying despite the fact that I hate the n-word no matter who is using it.) He then went on to say he couldn’t really have a “hood pass” because he isn’t discriminated against like a black person, like when turned away from being seated in a nice restaurant. I am glad that he is noting that trying to be ‘in’ with the black community comes with the struggle as well as whatever benefits you may reap.

    I don’t exactly take nicely to anyone trying to define what “being black” is though, especially if you’ve never been black a day in your life. Besides that, John Mayer said a lot of other things in the article that made me think/is so true even though no one says it/were extremely creative and a joy to read. He talked about the fact that music tends to suffer once the artist becomes famous, and I think that’s true, we should discuss that sometime. In the very end of the article, perhaps even explaining why he was so blunt, he proclaimed that he was tired of keeping himself in jail and watching what he does for the sake of the media. He’s now not giving a fuck, and doing whatever the fuck pleases him, and you know what, I respect that.

    I have no bad feelings toward John Mayer as of yet, the article was lengthy and covered so much more than those snippets that sound so incriminating when taken out of context.

  4. Sigh. John Mayer is strange. There is no question about that.
    I’m just glad I can separate his musical life from his personal life; because there’s no question that he makes good music. I’m also glad that I can do the same with Amy Winehouse…

    • agreed!

      also, do you think he mentioned his age enough in the interview? I feel like the number 32 was between every other word.

    • Ditto. I mean, Why Georgia?, The John Mayer Trio? greatness.
      He did write a song called “My stupid mouth” though so maybe he’s always known about his problem.

      • omg, my stupid mouth. i loved that song! i was like omg, this is so me. my stupid mouth has got me in trouble. i hate it when people who wrote lyrics i related to turn out to be assholes. does that mean i’ll turn out to be an asshole? he did apologize on twitter for being a racist ass, for what it’s worth.

  5. john mayer is entirely bizarre. i feel like he is my least favorite boy in all my classes who thinks he is the king of knowledge and has a comment about everything.

    but rihanna. sigh and swoon.

  6. omg i ove comfortable by john mayer too! its so sweet…

    the armani ad is HOT, so those one million moms can stick that in their juice box and suck it

    on a more appealing note, ellen = awesomeness, rihanna = new crush

  7. “same-s*x couples”
    Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was so offensive that you couldn’t spell out the word that describes my relationship. Jerks.

  8. Hey autostraddle girls hey

    just letting u know when u were talking about julia “miss February” u put she was miss January. Not correcting you or anything just letting you know I pay close attention to every fabulous word you put
    on my screen…

    Oh yeh. Have I told you lately that I love you?

  9. Wow, check out the comments on that Us article about Lindsay. It’s nice to see that their readers are such compassionate, educated, and articulate people. Also, what is a “mo-tard”? Blegh.

  10. I am a mom and I like the Armani ad. I’d rather my kids see that than the horribly offensive ads they saw during the Super Bowl. Also, just a thought…maybe it’s time parents actually talked to their kids about the images they see instead of trying to censor the entire world.

    • hmmm, you would think that would be the answer, right? Having gone to a born-again christian elementary school, I know so many kids who were sheltered their whole lives and when they got on their own it was like BAM!!! Drugs, sex, drinking, but all of it out of control. Parents just don’t see that no matter how hard you try, you can’t keep them blind forever.

      TALK TO THEM!

  11. I’ve been looking forward to watching Ellen on AI, and she didn’t dissapoint!
    Good on Armani Exchange for that ad, which reminded me that here in the UK sometime before xmas they showed an IKEA advert that ended with the woman ditching her boyfriend for another woman, but I only saw it once, it was kinda…’whoa, wait a minute, did I just see what I thought I just saw?!!’but I reckon that must of gotten taken off air, because I never saw it again(hmm, suppose I could of dreamt it?)?? It annoys the hell out of me when these groups say they’re upset over same sex advertising. Er hello, how the hell do they think we feel, we have way more right to be upset and angry because mainstream advertising pretty much (ok, I was being polite, I’ll say ALL mainstream ads) ignores us….someone throw me a fricken “I would love to use same sex couples in my major advertising campaign” bone, please! And I’m done, actually no I’m not, they called us ‘filth’? Argghh, who is this association, I hope that everyone just ignores them.

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