Deplorables, Ranked

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10. Jacked 3D Bacon Cheddar Ranch Doritos



9. Vanilla Tootsie Rolls



8. Bud Light



7. Bud Light with Lime


Nu uh.

7. Candy Corn


Absolutely not.

6. Oreo Thins



5. Cappuccino Lay’s



4. Jimmy Dean Pancake and Sausage on a Stick


No way.

3.  The McLobster


Nothing doing.

2. Life Savers Holes



1. Skins Fire



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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1714 articles for us.


  1. Personally, I feel all Doritos could have made the list (if only because that bloody flavoring dust gets everywhere and resists all attempts to clean it). Now, out of personal (and admittedly morbid) curiosity, I wish they would sell the contest trial flavors of Lays chips in smaller bags. Do the cappuccino ones sound vile? Yes, but you never know (I was kind of sad that I never got to try the Gyros flavored ones). Sometimes I’m too curious for my own good (back when Jones Soda Company did Thanksgiving flavors, I wanted to try those too).

    No idea what Skins Fire even is (TV show?).

    • In Australia for a while we had Caesar Salad flavoured potato chips, and it was so weird, biting into one and feeling the texture of chip, but tasting lettuce and salad dressing. I was impressed with how well they managed to get the flavour right.

    • My local Subway has been selling the smaller bags of contest flavor Lays. I’ve never tried them myself but I see them lined up in there whenever I go in. I don’t know if they are doing that all over the country or just in my area but you can check at your local Subway to see if they do.

    • Okay I DID try the Jones Soda Thanksgiving flavors though and mostly wish I didn’t!!!!!!!! I remember kind of liking the pepto-bismol flavor, but mashed potato, turkey and gravy, and green pea were atrocious!!!! I had to PAY my brother to chug the green pea one.

  2. Skins fire DOES NOT EXIST. It never has, it never will.

    my steadfast belief in this fact allows me to go about my day to day life; without it I would be reduced to a useless shell of my former self, much like an oreo thin, a cappucino chip or a beer with less beer in it

  3. Wait, why is there just a blank entry at #1? There’s just nothing. Unintentional? Some kind of comment on the vast emptiness of the universe? I feel disturbed looking at it. Like there’s some eldritch horror lurking beneath the white pixels…

  4. Heather, I’m right there with you on Vanilla Tootsie Rolls, but one time I was on a date slightly before halloween. I was lamenting my slowly-draining-of-every-color-but-effing-vanilla fruity tootsie roll bag when my date said she loved them,and would take all mine. Now, I could not think of a worse thing to ever do to a human being than give them a bag of just Vanilla Tootsie Rolls, so I hiked over to Joannes to pick up some convincingly flower-stem green wire, wrapped each roll with paper, and made the worlds most disappointing bouquet. This went over very well, and would not have been possible without Vanilla Tootsie Rolls inherent awfulness

  5. Well, after reading the disparaging comments about the Pork Skin Delicacies so enjoyed in Texas, I felt it only right to share some valuable information with y’all, including a candid photo of the fine animal source of these products!

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