You may have noticed a little pattern in my first few posts of 2019 and that pattern is hope. 2018 was so dang brutal for so many queer people, and so in the early days of this year I’ve found myself really drawn to books and TV and movies and podcasts that are full of light and warmth and hard-won happiness. Enter: “Days of Our Wives,” a new YouTube series by Toronto-based queer couple Angelina and Niko (and sometimes their cats, Dawn and May!). It’s part advice, part reviews of movies and TV shows and video games, part goofy married antics, part personal narrative about careers and family and mental health, and just a whole lot of love.
About three years ago I stumbled upon an ASMR video on YouTube that changed my life forever. ASMR, which stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, describes a variety of soothing sensations that come from listening to someone with a gentle voice talk; or someone flipping pages in a book or magazine; or someone making quiet, methodical noises. Like Bob Ross, who made ASMR videos on accident! On YouTube, however, there’s an entire community of creators who make ASMR videos on purpose. I watch an ASMR video every night as part of my bedtime routine, and they always make me feel calmer and more relaxed.
Angelina, who goes by albinwhisperland (or albinwonderland, her non-ASMR channel), was one of the first ASMR creators I was drawn to because her videos are all about my favorite things: pets and gaming and comics and sci-fi and fantasy and being a woman with a wife. I was delighted when she just announced one day that she had a girlfriend she’d married, and giddy when they started their own series together.
One of the things we talk about all the time is how important it is for queer folks to be able to tell their own stories, to be in charge of their own representation. It’s no surprise that the television that’s resonated with us most deeply these past few years — Steven Universe and She-Ra and One Day at a Time and Fresh Off the Boat and Pose and Vida and Brooklyn Nine-Nine — was conceived and written and acted and directed by people who get it because they live it. Self-produced YouTube videos aren’t really considered TV yet, but their reach is almost as wide. YouTube pulls in over 1.8 billion viewers a month (placing them right behind Facebook, which boasts 2 billion users a month) and most of those people are there to watch user-created content.
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Elated to publicly announce that Niko and I are officially married wives 💞 This photo was shot by @kamerapeople @alittleweddingstory ✨ My dress and Niko's blouse are from @uniquevintage ✨ Both of our rings were designed and made by @anastassiasel ✨ My shoes are from @Irregularchoice
When I came out, the only queer things to watch were The L Word, South of Nowhere, and vlogs created by queer writers. It’s fascinating to me that all these years later, when there are over 100 scripted TV shows about lesbian, bisexual, and queer women — and that it’s my actual job to write about them — there’s still something uniquely magical about simply engaging with queer people living their queer lives out loud, loving the same things I do, the same way I do.
Plenty of regular “Days of Our Wives” viewers have pointed out that Angelina and Niko look like IRL grown-up Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. That’s true, too, but it’s just a bonus.
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It’s almost our anniversary…. ☺️ Looking back on this photo @kamerapeople took of us a year ago, I remember how I thought to myself, how lucky I was to get to marry my best friend. I still feel that way every day!! Maybe it’s mushy, but what better an occasion to be mushy right? 😘
You can follow Angelina and Niko on Twitter (@albinwonderland + @ifgirlscollide), Instagram (@albinwonderland + @ifgirlscollide), and YouTube, and check out Angelina’s other channels at albinwonderland and albinwhisperland.