Coffee Cake In A Mug Is The Best Thing To Happen To Mugs Since Coffee

Laura’s Team Pick:

You know that primal craving that comes to you in the middle of the night(/morning/afternoon)? Those diabetic whispers that nestle themselves comfortably in your ear singing, “sugar, sugarrrrrrrrr”? Well, I’ve found a new way to satiate my need for simple carbohydrates and its name is coffee cake in a mug.

Not only does it look beyond tasty, it is precious. Just think of all the girls you could bring to the yard with an owl full of coffee cake for them and only them.

In the interest of your future coffee-cake-making endeavors, I’ve assembled a list of mugs that you might want to consider getting so that you have the right mug for every occasion.+

The Erlenmeyer Flask Ideal for: Scientists, titration enthusiasts

Shakespearean Insults Mug Ideal for: MFA candidates, writers, rude time-travelling house guests

Chalkboard Mug Ideal for: Artists, MFA candidates, teachers

Toilet Mug Ideal for: your friends’ kids, obnoxious little brothers who love this kind of shit, frat boys

The Ball Jar Ideal for: Trendy food- and apartment-blog readers, hipsters, faux Sylvia Plath fans who won’t necessarily realize that her book was not called “The Ball Jar”

Disappearing Dinosaurs Mug Ideal for: Little boys, lesbians, your creationist neighbors, paleontologists

Stainless Steel Beer Mug Ideal for: Your enemies (for use in their microwave only)

Global Warming Mug Ideal for: Al Gore, climate-change deniers, Citizens of Kiribati

Shark Attack and Octopus Surprise Mugs Ideal for: Aquarium employees, people who live every week like its shark week, selachophiles

Doctor Who Mug Ideal for: Dr. Who fans, people who want to woo a Dr. Who fan

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Laura is a tiny girl who wishes she were a superhero. She likes talking to her grandma on the phone and making things with her hands. Strengths include an impressive knowledge of Harry Potter, the ability to apply sociology to everything under the sun, and a knack for haggling for groceries in Spanish. Weaknesses: Chick-fil-a, her triceps, girls in glasses, and the subjunctive mood. Follow the vagabond adventures of Laura and her bike on twitter [@laurrrrita].

Laura has written 308 articles for us.

36 Comments

  1. I did not want this list to end.

    The Erlenmeyer Flask could probably be used to woo Scully fans too, if one is convincing enough to prove the coffee cake contents are of extraterrestrial origin.

  2. I want to buy ALL THE MUGS! I have to say that owl is the cutest thing I’ve never had a drink out of, and the illusion of being attacked by a shark may help kickstart my morning.

    Also, “people who live every week like its shark week,” are the fantastic!

  3. That Shakespearean insults mug is so going to be my stepdad’s Father’s Day present. And the guy is hard to shop for, so, thank you so much for posting it! You just saved me a couple hours of dithering at Books-A-Million, my default source of gifts for all family members.

  4. Come and put your name on it. CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

    It’s not even my birthday.

    CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE etc. CAKE….

    Cake= Relevant to my interests. Cake is good! This recipe looks great, The band Cake one of my best time bands, and now Rhiannon is talk/singing about all deliciousness of cake! Yummy! I really do want icing right now too. or crumbly topping that looks desirable as well. Thanks AS!

  5. the chalkboard mug just makes me think that if i tried to hold it i would end up with chalk all over my hands as i ate and would have to wipe them ever 5 seconds and then get my clothes dirty and then get all ocd and basically my life would be over. gimmedat erlenmyer

  6. This is pretty much the best morning after plan ever. It might just need to become my new go-to “I’ll make you breakfast” move. I mean, I’m starting to think the girls sleep over just for the French toast. But now they’ll come for the coffee cake and stay for the awkward wooing.

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