Ouid, Sex & Me (With a Dash of Magick and CBD)

I have a conflicted history with weed. To start off, I come from a family of addicts — both my mum and papa had addiction-fueled teens and twenties to hard drugs and alcohol — and while they’ve been clean and sober for just over 30 years, I always had that in my mind when it came to drugs. I’d wonder if the addiction gene thing was real — If I drank, would I be unable to stop? If I smoked, would it lead me to harsher drugs? My parents are not only cool but hilarious; whenever I brought it up to them they basically would laugh at me and say if I ever did get addicted at least we could carpool to meetings. So once I got a little less concerned with those worries, I was ready to go off to college and live my own version of Dazed & Confused. When I got there I smoked a lot of (shitty) weed — like, a lot — but I was never truly high. Was I giggly and then a little sleepy? Sure, but there was never a time I remember being hella high in the clouds or really feeling it in my body.

Image shows a photo of a weed plant overlaid on an image of daisies in water glasses.

I stopped smoking my junior year because I ended up having a really bad high. I had gotten weed from someone new and turns out it was laced. I got really sick but more than that, it was the bad trip I’d always worried about having. Time passed and I dabbled here and there, indulging a tiny bit with a partner or at a kickback, but never enough to truly experience it. About two years ago, I decided to actually let go of being fearful and find the type of canna connection that felt right to me. I started with smoking to make neighborhood walks a little sweeter, then lazy days inside even calmer, and later on smoking to make sex even, well — sexier. I smoke herbal blends that I roll, (usually lavender, rose, or mugwort) combined with flower (my fav strain is a hybrid called Mochi!) and soaked in the moonlight surrounded by a crystal or two that conveys certain energy. Then the next morning I put a drop of peppermint on it, and let it kiss the sun for a bit before moving them to my altar. Smoking this way works for me; it blends my magickal practices and intentions with the calm vibes that the canna gives me. Some I roll with CBD flower and herbs for days where I’m not looking for an altered consciousness but just extra relaxation in my body, like during sex.

When I’m high and having sex it’s not like I’m always on a different plane but everything is slightly (and effortlessly) heightened. I feel the touches deeper; my orgasms last longer; and my body, in general, is calmer. I’m not looking to space out, I’m looking to enhance the experience. Now, that doesn’t mean that I have a whole chat with whoever I’m fucking before and we open a circle and talk about what high we’re seeking, I think maybe that’s reserved for psychedelics which I am in NO WAY interested in or ready to experience yet — we just smoke, let it hit and enjoy the wave. So that’s why when it came to blending Weed/CBD and sex, I wanted to go the chill route. Something that could help me explore without interrupting the smooth flow of fucking.

CBD and THC (found in Weed) have a lot of similar effects, both can relieve pain, help you sleep, and can help lower your anxiety — the major difference is that weed will get you high and CBD won’t. CBD has worked for me to help me jump forward to that level of relaxation without worrying about many of the high (or hella psychoactive) effects, so I kept that in my mind when I started this piece and was looking for things that I could blend into sex. Since I am always testing out different toys to review for the site and for friends, I knew there had to be something out there that would be perfect for this. I was right and mainly found them in the vein of lubes and oils, which made perfect sense! You’re already (hopefully) using lube anyway when fucking, so it wouldn’t be awkward or break the moment, and using it on your bits which have so many crevices and membranes basically give the CBD a direct line to helping you relax! I’ve used CBD in a few forms: flower (of course), drops that can be taken directly or mixed into drinks, bath bombs, and even candies, but lube? Never. So I was dumb excited.

Image shows someone holding a a blooming blower in between their legs while a box of lube suppositories rest against them and overlaid on an image of daisies in water glasses.

I started with Forias Intimacy suppositories with CBD, 50 MG of it to be exact. The suppositories can be used anally and vaginally and help with relaxing your muscles so you can have deeper penetration. That’s music to my ears because I LOVE very deep penetration with fingers or a strap. Sometimes it’s painful — namely a few days before my period which sucks because it’s when I want to fuck the most, my hormones hit a million and all I want is to be held down, panties pushed to the side, and, well you get the picture — so I tried them around that time. The suppositories come in a little rocket shape; you peel them out of the package and push them in as far as you want, and wait about an hour for it to hit. They smell like cocoa and aren’t messy; they sort of melt into you and you can treat it like an air fryer and set it and forget it. I didn’t feel it in my body like when I do when I smoke, but it felt a bit tingly the first 10-15 minutes. I had an itch or two but it disappeared.

My skin is sensitive but not hella so, so I didn’t think much of it. These might not be the best for folks who don’t like inserting things inside themselves or aren’t a fan of penetration — also not for folks who are impatient, because they do take a minute to kick in. They did work though! My hottie was able to get really deep as I like and fuck me quite hard; there was no pain and It was magical. I used the Intimacy Sex Oil another time with someone else, and you don’t have to insert anything with that! It comes in a beautiful glass bottle (I’m a sucker for packaging) with a dropper and you apply it topically. It has 400 MG CBD in the bottle and only two ingredients (Coconut Oil & CBD), goes on smooth and doesn’t smell like too much of anything. To be honest, I felt no calmer/aroused when using it, the extra lubrication was welcomed but at $44 I was hoping to feel far more than just extra wet.

When I told a friend about it she wondered if it was a mind thing — if it didn’t hurt because I was willing it into existence ‘cos I knew I had used the suppositories. I don’t think that was the case or else I’d have done it a long time ago. Also, I did use the sex oil when I ran out of body oil one day and it worked like a charm, I was moisturized and a tiny extra chill so I might not use it for sex but it’s def gonna get used.

Next up, I wanted to try solo play, and the focus there was gonna be heightened arousal and awareness. That extra connection I feel when I’m fucking after I’ve smoked, but this time with myself and not with a partner. The crew over at TOCA sent me their two lubes, both of which are priced fairly, I think, at $48! QULO (oil meant for anal use) and TOTO (oil meant for vaginal use). Both oils are marketed for a specific use, but you can use them both for anal or vaginal play AND can use them together.

Image shows someone holding a bottle of the QULO lube overlaid on an image of daisies in water glasses.

Firstly — they smell fucking amazing, they 200 MG CBD (and a bit of THC), and things like Rosehip oil, Ginger, Peppermint, and my favorite thing… crystals! As I mentioned earlier crystals are a part of my smoking vibes already, so to have them as part of the oils/lubes just felt like kismet. Now let me get a little witchy here for a moment, both oils have a few of the same base ingredients like Rosehip Seed Oil, Vitamin E oil, and Whole Hemp plant extract, but the differences start to come in the crystals and herbs that are in each one. I’m unsure if it was purposeful but I’m gonna guess and say duh — but each of these crystals and herbs have magickal properties that are fitting for each of the oils. For example, in TOTO (the vaginal oil) there is Orange Carnelian & Rose Quartz which are both used a lot in fertility spells, and in QULO (the anal oil) there is Red Jasper which helps with endurance, and Rhodocrosite which is often used in love spells to attract romance (and heal your broken heart). There is ginger in both which is herb often used in sex magick because it serves as a light aphrodisiac, and so does Cardamom which is in QULO. Now, you’d have to ask the creators if all of that was thought of when it came to making the oils but if it wasn’t then they were making quite a few lucky guesses.

I put them on my skin to test and it got a tiny bit tingly then went away, so it was time to put them on my bits. My nipples always require coercion and still needed it despite me spraying TOTO on them (that’s right, it’s a SPRAY APPLICATOR). On my pussy was another story. It felt tingly but in a good way; my clit got a bit more sensitive quicker than usual and ultimately the orgasm was deeper. I drew it out longer because I felt more relaxed, I wanted to be more present, I wanted to feel myself longer — and I didn’t use a toy. At the risk of sounding hippy-dippy, at that moment it felt important to feel skin on skin. I feel like these could def be used during partnered play — but should really be used for folks who want to treat themselves when masturbating. Not every intense orgasm or sexually connected moment has to be shared with someone; sometimes it’s great to have these amazing solo moments to learn your body — and TOCA oils are a great addition when you’re doing that.

Image shows someone holding a bottle of the TOTO lube overlaid on an image of daisies in water glasses.I think back to my original relationship with weed, it started awkwardly and had a cloud of fear over it. If it didn’t, would I be seeking out ways to have a healthier — or deeper — connection with it today? Over the years, my friendships and settings have evolved and more people in my life had intentional relationships with weed. They all looked different: some people smoked to get out of their head, others used it just to chill or get work done, and some used it for medical reasons. The way they indulged looked different too; edibles, vaping, dabbing — all kinds of shit. So I think that’s what made me so curious, and also so sure that my relationship with weed could evolve, too. Blending it into sex — a space where I feel so sure and so safe — just felt like a natural step.

That feeling my body has during and after a particularly beautiful high matches how I feel when I’m fucking — and the moment when I come. I feel every touch on my skin; my mind is blank but somehow still focused, I can feel my heart beating and it feels like it’s matching whatever music is playing. I’m always looking for new ways to extend my own pleasure, and sometimes the result is to take something I’m already doing and pouring it into elements of my desire. Blending weed/CBD into sex feels easy and flows into my pleasure beautifully, and obviously, there are intimacy brands out there that feel the same, the ones I tried are just a few. So this was just the first round on another exploration for me, they were fun, chill, and helped me get a bit to that next level. And sometimes I’m just gonna smoke weed and fuck and that’s certainly okay too.

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Shelli Nicole is a Detroit-raised, Chicago-based writer. Her work has appeared in Bustle, HelloGiggles & Marie Claire. She is terrified of mermaids and teenagers equally.

Shelli has written 118 articles for us.

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