BREAKING: Beyonce Drops Her Album Out of the Blue Ivy

Ring the alarm, Beyoncé just surprise released an album in the middle of the night. As if dropped off early by Santa himself, the self-titled Beyoncé has appeared on iTunes. So sneaky, B.

In a week full of Beyoncé breaking news, this is a glorious crowning achievement.

Fourteen new songs. Lyrics like “I’m in my penthouse half-naked. I cooked this meal for you naked.”

Collaborations: Jay-Z is there! Drake is there! Frank Ocean is there! BLUE IVY IS THERE. ON A COLLABORATION CALLED “BLUE”.


But not only is there new music, oh no. You know she went above and Beyoncé. It’s a “visual album.” SO THERE ARE 17 NEW MUSIC VIDEOS FOR YOU TO OGLE IN ADDITION.

Y’all, I previewed all the videos on iTunes just now and a girl straight up licks her in the one for Yoncé.

Will you remember where you were when this happened?

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Lauren is proud Alabamian aspiring filmmaker who is learning to stop saying “aspiring” and just say “filmmaker.” A recent graduate with a degrees in film, Tegan and Sara, and t-shirt collecting, she spent all of her college time organizing the queers down at the University of Alabama and turning every class assignment into a chance to talk about southern queer black woman identity. She likes football more now that she’s graduated.

Lauren has written 9 articles for us.


  1. Beyonce pretty much just slayed everyone before the new year even starts. This album is so good it is ridiculous. Like literally every song is perfect. All of your favorites are at home crying. I feel sorry for anybody who is just about to drop an album. Beyonce is laughing at you right now.

    • this was indeed a super smart move. i saw someone commenting on facebook that it was “interesting that she chose to do it without any hype,” and I was like “oh no no no…this is the hype. the hype is right on time.” genius move. it’s all so very much like having a full season of a new shot to watch on netflix all at once. i think people consumed it the same way they did a show like orange is the new black. binge watch it all usually by yourself. live-tweet/live-text your feelings to someone. and then scream with glee in public to the strangest of strangers even :)

  2. This album has ripped open everything I thought I knew about 2013. I cannot deal. It makes me want to scream and laugh and cry and fuck and dance and fight and take to the streets and deconstruct kyriarchy and ahhhhhhh my heart my brain my soul.

  3. I was at a Beyonce concert. The 100th one of her tour, in Louisville. And she didn’t even mention this. It’s like hanging out with a friend and then going home to see that they’ve announced a pregnancy on Facebook or something. Sneaky, sneaky Beyonce. (I love her.)

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