NY Mag’s Queer Poly Lady Sex Diarist Has A Lot Of Actual Sex, Goes There

Yes fine homosexuals of Sodom, it’s me again here to inform you that New York Magazine‘s sex diaries feature a lady-loving lady this week: The Queer Woman Who Sneaks Into the Fitting Room With Her Partner! This particular woman has actual sex. Like a lot of actual sex. New York Magazine only had to go all the way to San Francisco to find her, but they did.

For example:

 I love looking up at T’s breasts from between her legs; they frame her face so nicely. I love how she starts to shake as she comes in my mouth. “I shouldn’t give you my tongue so quickly. It turns you into a puddle,” I tell her. Of course, I don’t really mean this — the part about keeping my tongue from her. My tongue is directly connected to my ego, and my ego likes the feel of come dripping on it.

The diary comes complete with butch bra shopping, Daddy play, shaving, near-fisting and bossy bottoms. Commenters are confused about whether or not fisting actually feels good and are actively debating the merits of removing or not removing one’s pubic hair as if nobody’s ever conversed on the topic before.

To be honest, sometimes witnessing these intimacies dissected by commenters on the website — the sex diaries commenters are a prolific gang of regulars — feels strange, like we’re giving them our secrets. Due to the horrible representations of “lesbian sex” in straight porn, there’s a lot of misconceptions about what lesbians actually do in bed, and for some reason that often makes our sex feel more special. But here we are on the internet, with 98% of somebody’s fist all up inside us! Ta-da.

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Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2896 articles for us.


  1. I agree. I think in some possibly juvenile way the fact that lesbian sex has this big question around it, the fact that its representation is so often misrepresentation, does make it (whatever it is) more ours, or mine.

  2. The aspects of this diary that are like from my life contrast sharply with the aspects that are not at all alike…

    Particularly the kinky part (but different kinks), the part where one person lives a hour and a half away from the city (but I’m the one who lives away from SF), and the having sex with different women part. (That part’s pretty cool.)

    Basically what I’m trying to say is I felt this piece like it was inside of me.

  3. i think this comment about measuring fisting in percentages should win an award or at least a shout-out:

    @TheNext_MrsBass – once you’re past the knuckles it’s all fairly academic

  4. I read the article, the first paragraph was ok but that’s anyone’s basic fantasy the rest made me sick…Who the heck wants to call their partner “Daddy” during sex *SERIOUSLY EW* T__T

  5. Wait, doesn’t everyone have dressing room sex? And bathroom sex for that matter? That’s the benefit of being two girls…no one questions why you went into the same room together. It’s part of the turn on. I had this conversation at a party last weekend. Some girls need to get to know someone really well before having sex since they want more than a fling. Others are fine with the fling…no last names necessary. It surprised me how many really young girls opted for the relationship and us older gals were fine with instant gratification. Let’s see if I can study further at pride this weekend…

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