Anonymous Sex Toy Review: Starsi Vibrator

Sex toy companies sometimes ask us to review sex toys in exchange for—you guessed it—sex toys! Three anonymous reviewers had a conversation about Starsi, a vibrator from Cute Little Fuckers, a gender-inclusive toy company with a mission to make exploring sex, sexuality and gender a lighthearted, affirming and exciting experience for all human bodies. Your reviewers love the mission of this company. Read on for their thoughts about Starsi!

an orange alien starfish-shaped vibrator

Reviewer #1: Ok, what do ya’ll think about the general appearance of the Starsi?

Reviewer #2: Gotta say from jump I didn’t love that there was a face on it.

Reviewer #3: On design and appearance: it’s very cute! I don’t know if I noticed the face. But that makes me like it more, I think? I feel like sex (and, to a degree, masturbation) is often so serious and I like that this doesn’t look very serious! Unfortunately for me — maybe because I am a penis-haver, or maybe for other reasons — the Starsi is generally NOT what I’ll be using throughout the pandemic.

Reviewer #1: I’m definitely behind the idea that sex and masturbation should be fun and not quite so “mysterious,” but the face definitely creeps me out. I don’t want my sex toys to look like anything other than sex toys.

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Reviewer #3: Interestingly, I think CLF gives all of their toys an identity — name, pronouns, and such? Do you think that’s just a big turn off for you in general? That it’s almost like a creature or something?

Reviewer #1: It’s definitely a turn off for me. I can’t get behind the “cuteification” (for lack of a better, real word) of sex.

Reviewer #2: I think I am … deeply invested in a narrative, and when I see something with a face I am like “Okay, well what is your story, who are you?”

Reviewer #3: Hmmm … I didn’t think about that too much but now that I have it does seem kinda creepy.

Reviewer #2: Though if I am being honest, I didn’t really think about the face when I was using it.

Reviewer #3: Now I can’t get the idea out of my head of, like, plucking a live actual starfish out of the ocean and using it for sex? And that feels very strange.

Reviewer #2: I do not think that is what they are for!!!

Reviewer #1: This is what their website says: “Starsi comes from a starsun, a planet covered in fire, so Starsi loves the warmth of your body.” Starsi is also a “sweet and sensual friend.”

Reviewer #3: I did not like Starsi too much, but the cuteness and the face and the fact that it has a name and identity was not the reason why.

Reviewer #2: I agree—it’s possible I didn’t think about the face because I was perplexed by the user experience.

Reviewer #1: I’m guessing you both didn’t dig how it functions?

Reviewer #3: It was definitely not clear exactly how to use it? Especially for me as a penis-haver — the marketing specifically mentioned transfeminine folks, if I remember correctly, but I think “perplexed” is definitely the right word.

Reviewer #2: See, the whole time I was thinking “well maybe this is designed for penis havers because I am confused?”

Reviewer #3: Oh no.

Reviewer #1: At first glance, I was excited about the surface area coverage, but once I tried to use it for full vulva vibration, the starfish arms dug into my thighs.

Reviewer #2: YES, Starsi arms + thighs were not a great combination!

Reviewer #3: The only idea I had was, maybe I could like, put it in my panties to keep it in place? But it wouldn’t stay in place! But then what if I closed my legs a bit to hold it? No, because then it pokes. And it can’t just sit on top of my genitals because then the vibrations aren’t strong enough.

Reviewer #1: Yeah, the arms really kill your options — I feel like it would work so much better if it were round! Then it could slide into underwear or a strap-on harness.

Reviewer #3: If I held it in place with my hand — which is the only way it felt good — once I got hard there was no room for my penis to go? So I had to take it off, but then I had to hold it in some other awkward position. I couldn’t figure it out!

Reviewer #1: Gah! That sounds so frustrating! And vibrators should not be frustrating!

Reviewer #2: I realized I would have to get very spread eagle to stop getting poked? But then I was like, “Maybe I am the laziest masturbator on the planet? Is this the most bottomy thing to whine about? What, am I to move around to experience pleasure??”

Reviewer #3: I kept trying to fit it into my panties or even under panties AND leggings so it would just stay in place without me having to hold it, but I couldn’t make that happen. You know, I didn’t try laying down on my stomach with it underneath me. Maybe then I could have something in my butt? But then, how would I look at porn that way? Maybe if I was listening to an erotic reading of some kind …

Reviewer #2: Okay I DID try that and I got poked more!!!!

Reviewer #1: I also tried that — SO much poking! But despite the impossible nature of the shape, the actual vibrator was really powerful.

Reviewer #2: I feel like the power of the vibrator made it more frustrating because I was like I can TELL this could feel good but I just can’t get there?

Reviewer #1: “I would be enjoying this if only I could get it in the right spot.”

Reviewer #3: Same!! I DID have a good experience using this with a partner, though. Just not solo.

Reviewer #2: I would be very interested in hearing more about that, as I am famously single. I wondered if it would be better with help?

Reviewer #1: Oh yeah? I only used it solo. My person isn’t into vibrators and was horrified by Starsi’s face.

Reviewer #3: We tried two different experiences. In the first one, I laid on my back, put the Starsi over my package, she straddled me and grinded on Starsi. This was good because the pressure of her on top, pushing Starsi down, pushed the vibrations into me in a way I couldn’t make happen comfortably on my own. Also, because my hands were free, I could, you know, touch her body, and we could kiss and stuff? It was nice, kinda like humping with a little spicy extra?

Reviewer #1: I can definitely see how that would work well.

Reviewer #3: It was only temporary, though, because once my penis was hard it was difficult to put Starsi in a position that wasn’t painful.

The second way is more applicable to vulva-havers: I put Starsi over her vulva, clit area, and we could take turns like, manipulating it over her clit, and then ALSO I could have ANOTHER vibrator and/or fingers etc. inside of her! That way it was like, clit vibrations AND penetration. She usually uses a Magic Wand, and this wasn’t nearly as powerful on her clit obviously, but the Magic Wand is kind of tough to keep in place when you’re also getting penetrated or getting head or something? Starsi was easy for her to hold in place over her clit while I was doing other stuff, and then she still had a free hand.

That, to me, is the best-case scenario for Starsi. Because of its shape, it’s somewhat easier to keep in place on a clitoris while you’re ALSO doing other stuff. So I wonder if either of you tried using it in combination with another toy or something like that?

Reviewer #1: I just couldn’t get it in any position that felt comfortable. I’m sure it’s a different experience for different body shapes. It’s just so firm! If it were softer and more flexible, I think it would be more effective for different body shapes and different activities. I’d love to read more reviews from trans feminine folks.

Reviewer #2: I didn’t think that it would be possible to use with another toy! I mean not impossible, but perhaps harder than I was willing to attempt—and I think the rigidity made it hard to get more creative?

Reviewer #3: I think we did Starsi on the clit and a vibe in the butt. It might have been tough to do Starsi on the clit and something in the vagina?

Reviewer #1: Ooooh that makes more sense.

Reviewer #3: I think you could get fingers in the vagina with Starsi on the clit, depending on how your vulva is laid out?

Reviewer #2: …I really might be the laziest masturbator ever! The other reason I was excited about Starsi is that I don’t do a lot of penetration when masturbating? I liked that it was not designed for penetration, but then it was challenging enough to use that I kept thinking: what are you for??

Reviewer #1: Sex toys are supposed to be user friendly! They’re supposed to make masturbation easier! In the case of Starsi, my hands would have done a much better job.

Reviewer #3: How many times did y’all try to use it? I know most vibrators are pretty basic, like: insert and turn on — but some of them have like, a learning curve?

Reviewer #2: Hmm…I masturbate near daily and we got it about a week ago? So probably 5 or 6 times? I don’t mind the learning curve — but I think one round of experimenting should be enough? Especially solo, I can see wanting to get more adventurous with a partner. Sadly, I was never able to finish with it, I had to pull out another vibrator for that.

Reviewer #1: For me, the learning curve is usually about figuring out the settings. When I couldn’t figure out the Starsi after one go, I gave up.

Reviewer #3: I really wonder, though — if you’re used to using a vibe on the clit, is this not easier to keep in place than a Magic Wand or a bullet, especially if you get wet and things are slippery? Or, could a certain amount of spread eagle work, if you could find a comfy position?

Reviewer #1: Because the arms are slightly curved, even if my legs are fully spread like a damn gymnast, those arms poke me.

Reviewer #3: Dang. Yeah, I mean, why keep trying with a new thing when you already have options that work well?

I guess I was sad about it because I had NEVER seen a sex toy that specifically called out like, trans feminine / AMAB folks (I don’t remember exactly what language it uses). [Ed Note: The copy for Starsi does specifically mention transfemme folks!] I hoped it would work well for me! And it didn’t, but also … I’ve never found a sex toy that worked well for me. But this was the closest I’ve ever gotten.

Reviewer #1: That’s such a bummer—I want there to be more toys specifically designed for trans feminine folks!

Reviewer #3: I don’t think there’s a huge market for sex toys for people with penises that aren’t just a sleeve or a butt plug. Neither of which is too appealing for me but I also don’t know what else you would do? I love that this was at least innovative; I’ve never seen a sex toy like it.

Reviewer #2: I am sadder about it now that you have reported back that it doesn’t work for you! I was like “well if it’s designed for trans feminine folks and doesn’t work for me, that’s fine!”

Reviewer #3: It could just be me! We needed at least one other trans femme person in this roundtable, maybe they would have loved it?

Reviewer #1: Yeah, I’d be interested in reading more reviews.

Reviewer #3: Oh my god, I just remembered — I put Starsi on my crotch and my partner straddled me and it honestly felt like I was an alien and we ALMOST kind of did role play?? Even though we’re NOT into that. But I was like, what if you got abducted and had sex with the alien and they had vibrating genitals!!!

Reviewer #1: Anything that encourages alien role play is a win.

Reviewer #3: I also sometimes fantasize about being even more of an android / cyborg / bionic woman than I already am so this could feed that fantasy too.

Reviewer #2: I am kind of thrilled that it lends itself to such creative alien themed roleplay??

Reviewer #1: What are our final thoughts about our pal Starsi?

Reviewer #2: It didn’t work for me, but I would love to read more reviews from trans feminine folks! I still wish it did not have a face.

Reviewer #3: Very innovative and appreciated idea, though it didn’t end up fully working out for solo play. An updated or modified vibe in a similar style — maybe without the pokey starfish arms — could be a hit! It was definitely still fun to use occasionally for partnered play, though.

Reviewer #1: Starsi was an Experience.

Reviewer #2: Starsi was a real……. armful.

…I’ll show myself out.

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