Results for: be the change
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I’ve Changed, But My Kinks Haven’t
It’s okay to live a life where your interests overlap with the result of trauma.
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You Need Help: My Partner and I Have Different Sex Drives
You can’t change your partner, or her sex drive. All you can change is the situation you’re in.
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I Immediately Feel Shame, Sadness After Masturbating
It’s 2024, am I the only one left on the planet who feels enormous shame after self-pleasure?
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You Need Help: How Do I Ask My Girlfriend To Freshen Up Before Sex Without Killing Our Sex Life?
Your girlfriend is putting a lot of trust in you, and that trust should be honored and celebrated.
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You Need Help: How Can I Deal With My Own Sexual Shame?
I want you to know that your shame is not uncommon and you’re not alone in feeling it. While it does take a long time to undo, you’re on the right track by acknowledging it verbally.
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You Need Help: My Ex Got Mad That I Didn’t Want To Have Sex, Now I Can’t Trust Anyone
I have to start by getting this out: “Fuck your ex. FUCK THEM.” You are not to blame.
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How Do I Approach Sex With My Partner of Six Years While We’re Both Navigating Trauma?
The lack of sex that resulted from our wildly differing needs has had a lasting impact.
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You Need Help: I Thought We Were Both Switches, but My Girlfriend Won’t Touch Me
It sounds like your idea of your sexual dynamic with your girlfriend isn’t lining up with the reality of it.
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You Need Help: How Do I Explore Casual Sex If I’m Demisexual?
If you’re feeling sexual desire for friends or if you like the idea of a “friends with benefits” situation, then it seems that most widely-accepted definition of “demisexual” still encompasses your experience. But the more important questions here are: what do you want and why do you want it?
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You Need Help: I’m Queer, Kinky, and Monogamous — Will I Be Alone Forever?
You need to find ways to happiness whether you remain single or whether you find your ultimate kinky monogamous life partner.
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You Need Help: Quarantine Smothered My Sex Drive
If you use this opportunity to sharpen your communication, your dynamic will be stronger (and hotter) on the other side of a crisis.
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You Need Help: How Do I Spice Up My Relationship?
So you’re not looking for anything new… but something has got to change for you to feel more fulfilled in this relationship.
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You Need Help: Getting Kinky On A Budget
You’re in luck — kinky sex requires nothing but two (or more) bodies and a little imagination.
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You Need Help: Rebuilding Desire and Confidence in Your Partner
“How can I help her feel confident and in the mood again without sacrificing any more of myself?”
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You Need Help: How Do I Get My Sexual Confidence Back?
You’re at your most vulnerable when you describe how afraid you are of never being desired by another again. Own that vulnerability, because really owning our soft parts is part of what confidence is.
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You Need Help: Relearning Sex with Chronic Pain
The weight of expectation does not belong in bed with you.
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You Need Help: You Can Want Sex Exactly as Much as You Want (or Don’t)
“Sex positive” doesn’t mean you have to have sex.
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You Need Help: Are You Asexual or Was Having Sex With Dudes Just the Worst?
“I was bred as a Southern Baptist, which gave me plenty of reasons not to let a guy touch my boobs. For example, it would break Jesus’ heart. And also I would go to hell.”
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You Need Help: When a Yeast Infection is Cramping Your Sex Style
Let’s get down to business. The business of getting down to business with an itchy vag.
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You Need Help: When Doing [This Sex Act] Makes You Want To Lie Down and Curl Into The Tiniest Ball
“I want to fulfill her sexually and sensually and I want to help her explore her various interests and fantasies. But I can’t even think about hitting her without conflating it with my own memories of abuse.”