I Had a Spiritual Awakening at Sweat Tour

In many ways, the SWEAT Tour is an assertion that one’s enjoyment of sex and clubbing and music is more than a shallow hobby: It is a reminder that, amidst a terrifying world, we are allowed to make moments for pure fun.

in black and white, the members of NSYNC backstage at the VMA awards 2023

First Person Music

On *NSYNC and Being a Lesbian Who Loves Boy Bands

If you had to make me into a pie chart, being queer and loving *NSYNC are basically the same size.

a tv on a stand with a wood paneled wall behind it

First Person Music

Just Waiting To Be Found

For my entire childhood, I spent every summer in the Appalachian Mountains.

First Person Music

10 Mountain Goats Songs, Ranked by Transness

I’m not alone in my obsession with finding themes of gender oppression and transformation in their raw, high-wire, indie-rock lyrics about tragedy, monstrosity, drugs, and sickness.

Janelle Monáe holding a rainbow heart at a mic on a Pride float

First Person Music

Leaning Into Pleasure at the Janelle Monáe Listening Party

The leftover swirls of emotion from the sheer queerness of the event, of the attendees, of the joy, are still sustaining me, even as Pride month comes to a close.

The National albums High Violent, Alligator, Trouble Will Find Me, and Sleep Well Beast

First Person Music

Ranking The National Songs by How Much I’ve Cried to Them

Trying to get sober was like pulling teeth.

Three album covers (The National's High Violet, Erkyah Badu's New Amerikyah, and Hanna) are placed in front of a solid royal purple background

First Person Music

Three Songs for Three Heartbreaks

I was in love, then I wasn’t. One night, after a big fight. I got on my bike to make the short trek home and a song came to me.

A woman wearing red over-the-head headphones with her eyes closed

First Person Music

What My Spotify Wrapped Should Have Said

I’ve learned that a ranked list of songs can be just as powerful as an end-of-year journal entry.

Bikini Kill performs on stage with purple and green light

First Person Music

Seeing Bikini Kill Made Me Feel Like I Was 16 Again

Bikini Kill opened a door for me, a door that has stayed open ever since.

A white person with light skin and long brown hair wears a black blazer and is conducting, with their arms in motion.

First Person Music

The Double Lives of Queer Church Musicians

Many of my colleagues and I have left church music leadership entirely.

A black and white photo of Stephen Sondheim sitting in a chair smirking

First Person Music

Sondheim and the Ambivalence of Wanting

Yearning is the thread that runs through everything Stephen Sondheim wrote: for love, for happiness, for recognition, for meaning. The fear of naming that desire. The fear of admitting it yourself, of letting yourself hope, of letting yourself want.

Patti LaBelle performs in the 1980s, crying with emotion into the microphone. she has on long dangly, sparkly earrings, bold make up, long nails, and her signature big hair pulled back.

First Person Music

Somebody Loves You Baby: When Patti LaBelle Taught Me Black Femme Desire

After the song’s gentle teasing passes, Patti exclaims, “it’s me,” the somebody who loves you. I think of the women I have loved, despite the ways we have hurt each other.

First Person Music

Stories About Beyoncé That Are Really About the First Girl I Ever Loved

“I never could explain why my heart pounded when her soft hands reached out for mine. Why it felt like I was the only girl in the world, singing with her at the top of my lungs. The way my eyes would nervously glance down at her chest in that purple lace bra and white tank top. Until I could.”