First I became a cloud-woman. Min had always liked watching them as a child, one of her only good memories from that period. I lifted up my skirts, let her lap up my water. Her mouth was covered in dew when I kissed her.

Mostly I had chalked my ambivalence up to stifling antidepressants and emotional avoidance. Was I gutted of desire or was this a case of under exposure? Or was I supposed to own my simpleton truth and scream from a cliff, “I just want to dim the lights and be pegged, goddamnit!”

I never thought I would be with another person like this for the rest of my life, but I’ve given myself permission, and that feels exciting.

“Then you think, ‘It’s so funny. We’re toeing.’ It’s funny and then you laugh and feel happy. “