feature image via Roya DelSol
July brings on nosebleeds each day and I feel embarrassed that I can’t seem to predict or easily stop them. I grew up with nosebleeds, but it’s been a few years since I had any. These come at unexpected times. Walking to the train station, trying to hold it together for work. Waking up from a night where the temperature is manageable, blood filtering to the back of my throat. Sometimes I see the blood drip before I feel it; while I’m remembering to brush my teeth, shower or pee. I have no control over it, and I don’t see it coming. If I’m not having nosebleeds, I’m taking bathroom breaks at work just to breathe, cry, pinch my skin.
My mother drives around my hometown, letting me sit in the passenger seat staring ahead, not really looking at the road, but not really looking at anything in particular. Sometimes we talk, other times we drive, both silent, listening to a rundown of the top 40 or an underground garage station.
My mum finds a drive-thr...
You Have Reached A+ Content!
This is one of the 3-4 posts we publish each month just for A+ members. Why? Well, because...
We Need Help
It's do or die for us now: our community-funded publication is facing serious budget shortfalls and increasing competition for talent and advertising from new corporate-owned LGBTQ+ media properties. 95% of our income comes from YOU, our readers. We just barely hit our goal of 3k members in 2018, and will need another 1,000 members in the next six months to make it through the summer!
Autostraddle Plus is a way for helpful readers like you to support the site for as little as $4 a month, and in return get a peek behind the curtain of Autostraddle with posts like this one. Best of all, you're helping us keep Autostraddle.com free for everybody — free of cost, free from pop-up and pre-roll advertisements, and also free from the inevitable compromises made by sites that cater to marketers, not readers.
A+ is a sustainable way for queer people and allies to opt into a system that financially supports other queer people, creating work that changes lives and impacts communities.
Make a lot of good people very happy: join A+ today!
Read more information about A+
Already a member? Sign in