You love your girlfriend / wife and she loves Autostraddle and we’re approaching the Love-liest time of the year. What are you gonna get her? Here’s some ideas. Let me just first say, however, that capitalism is hard! I wish we lived on a lesbian separatist socialist commune. Until then:
1. The Classic Scissoring Sweatshirt
There’s literally nothing on the entire planet that your girlfriend would rather wear than a Scissoring Sweatshirt. This is a fact. Now available in dark grey or red!
2. Custom Illustration from Rory Midhani
Our illustrator Rory Midhani is the shit. Last year, both Rachel and I paid him to do custom illustrations for our significant others’ birthdays and seriously there’s nothing cuter, plus you’re supporting a kickass British trans illustrator to the stars. You can e-mail him at info [at] rorymidhani [dot] com!
3. A+ Membership
The gift of an A+ membership is the gift that keeps on giving (for twelve months, at least). You can get your #1 Gal Pal a one-year bronze, silver or gold membership, which’d give her access to A+ content, an A+ sticker and — for gold members — an A+ t-shirt! Plus access to special deals and giveaways from merchant partners.
4. Books by Autostraddle Writers
Get some books written by or featuring the work of people who have written for Autostraddle!
The Bigger the Better, the Tighter the Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image, and Other Hazards of Being Female – This anthology featuring “21 funny women on beauty, body image, and other hazards of being female” features a story by Marie Lyn Bernard (AKA ME!) about how I sweat too much. It’s good you should get it.
Bad Feminist: Essays – The book everybody is talking about by one of our favorite humans Roxane Gay, who wrote an essay right here this one time!
Portland Queer: Tales of the Rose City – This anthology of stories by LGBT writers that take place in Portland features a tale by our own Gabby Rivera.
This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life, by Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo
Knockturnal Emissions: Thoughts on #race #sexuality #gender #community – Poetry from our very own Carolyn Wysinger.
My Drunk Kitchen: A Guide to Eating, Drinking, and Going with Your Gut, a delightful situation photographer by our own Robin Roemer and starring dearest-friend-of-Autostraddle Hannah Hart!
Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 – This delightful collection includes a story by our very own Alison Osworth!
On a Greyhound Straight From the 915, a chapbook by the ridiculously talented Mónica Teresa Ortiz.
Lumberjanes Vol. 1 – The GLAAD-Award-nominated comic book series was co-written and co-created by our very own Grace Ellis! See if you can guess which characters were inspired by Riese, Carly, Robin and Haviland.
5. This LG Electronics 98UB9800 UB9800 98-Inch LED TV
We write about television a lot around here so there’s a pretty good chance that your girlfriend likes the television. The reason we suggest this specific television, which happens to cost around $40k, is because we get 8% of every sale made on Amazon, so if you bought this television, we would get $3,199.99, which would be AWESOME.
6. Better Together #1: OMG I’M GAY & Vapid Fluff Tote Bag
Did your girlfriend recently figure out that she had deep burning passionate lusty desires for other women? Did she figure it out a long time ago but still enjoys reading essays on that topic? Well, then you need this ‘zine. It’s Issue #1 in the Better Together series we’ve been working on with our friends at Everyone is Gay. She can carry it around in her adorable tote bag.
7. Photo shoot with Robin Roemer
Is your lady the cutest thing you ever did see? Are y’all so fucking gorgeous together that you die every time you look into each other’s eyes and get reborn as unicorn flowers? Did you just have a baby? Is your daughter/son so precious that you can’t help but squeeze their cheeks and post 45 photos of their every move on Facebook? Then just imagine how good you or your family would look if noted Calendar Girl Photographer Robin Roemer turned her lens on your sweet face. She’s photographed just about everybody you love — Tegan & Sara, Hannah Hart, Lady Gaga, Grace Helbig, Janelle Monae — so why not add one more to the list? (GET IT DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE???) You can contact her at robinroemerphotography [at] gmail [dot] com.
8. Something From Babeland For Your Babe
Y’all Babeland is a lesbian feminist sex toy legend, like they wrote the book on it. They’ve done parties for Straddlers, too. They give us 20% on every sale we refer and YOU get 10 modes and a setting that alternates the vibration to switch between G-spot and clitoral vibrations thanks to the dual motors!
9. Tomboy Femme Gift Sets
Make-your-own gift collection for your lady that reflects the spectrum of her gender expression.
Cotton Spandex Jersey Bandeau Dress ($22) // “Straddle This” Boxer-Briefs ($16) // OPI Brights Nail Lacquer, Purple with a Purpose ($8.79) // California Fleece Pullover Raglan Hoodie Dress ($22) // Purple Mr. Bendy ($69) // NARS Eyeshadow Duo ($35) // Halogen® Dégradé Stripe Cashmere Infinity Scarf ($53.40)
H+M Sweatpants ($12.95) // essie Nail Color, Blues, Naughty Nautical ($8.50) // Straddle This Hotshort ($12.75) // Got It On Loch Ness Socks ($7.99) // MG Baker Co Polka Bowtie ($58) // Custom Initial Charm Necklace ($18)
want a fleece hoodie dress! American Apparel one size does not fit most.
2nd year in a row gf will be traveling and in Tanzania for work on Valentine’s Day, so I send her with a very flat Valentine again this year.
if you print out a picture that rory drew it’s flat fyi
true facts I already emailed them shhhhhhh.
(don’t tell my gf)
your secret is safe with me
The header photos for this article are just the most adorable. Also, #5 – hilarious.
they were miss februarys for a reason mhmm
When you said #5 was the most important, I thought it’d be an A+ membership, so I was surprised when it showed up before that.
HAVEN’T YOU ALWAYS WANTED A $40,000 TELEVISION
(but A+ memberships are always the most important of things, categorically)
I’m still struggling with the concept of a 40k TV.
A history of my TV purchases:
1) Abandoned by a roommate who disappeared (she’s fine): free (went to another roommate)
2) great-uncle who could fix anything salvaged a broken one from a yard sale and repaired: free (since stolen)
3) the one my father wants to give me so he can buy an expensive one (um, not comparatively) that has some sort of special something that doesn’t cause footballs etc. to appear as if they’re moving through the air jerkily, because this apparently causes you to have to wait 2 seconds to see if a field goal is good (file under: tragic problems experienced by sports-fanatic men who are semi-retired and get 200 ESPN stations)
The Rory Midhani portrait is so cute, i wish I could get one for my girl and I. How much does it cost for such a great thing?
It depends on a few factors, he’ll totally answer if you email to ask though!
“On a Greyhound Straight From the 915.” I saw the title and the author’s last name, and my heart jumped into my throat. 915 is the area code for the El Paso, TX area, where I grew up! Thinking for 18 years that I was the only queer girl Latina in the area. I need to order this book pronto and send it back in time to my 18-year-old closeted self somehow. Really hope I get to meet Monica Ortiz at camp, I think we’d have a lot to talk about :)
Aw this comment is the best!!!