9 Reasons Why I Think My Mom Is Gay

There’s a long-running joke in my family that my mom is gay. When I tell people this, they assume that her and my father are divorced or that he is otherwise out of the picture. He is not. The joke has evolved in a way that we’ve gotten her comfortable enough to self-identify as bi-curious, which I think is really rad and cool for her.

My mother grew up in Queens and went to an art and design high school in Manhattan where she was exposed to all different kinds of lifestyles. She then went to Bard College (gay) where she kissed her girl friends (gay) and studied art (gay), all while dating my father. Though she’s exhibited gay behavior her entire life, it wasn’t until about 2018 that we started asking questions. Here’s why:

She has her MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College

Going to Sarah Lawrence College is one of the gayest things you could do, and more people would do it if it wasn’t so fucking expensive. As an adult, my mom went back to school and got her MFA at Sarah Lawrence and was a graduate assistant on the literary magazine.

When I came out to her, she responded by saying “I used to make out with my girl friends in college all the time!”

I know that this is typically a no-no in terms of how people should react when someone comes out to them, but for me, it was nice knowing she was a little dykey. Most of the time, when someone says this, it’s in the “haha oh yeah of course I kiss girls when I’m drunk” way but I knew that when she said it, she meant it.

Two of her four kids are gay

We know that queerness is genetic and until Salma Hayek transitions, my dad is not gay. Also, statistically speaking, my mom is one of five girls and the only other “maybe” in that family sadly passed before we could confirm.

She has an incredibly close relationship with the NYC lesbian biker group “The Sirens”

On more than one occasion, my mom has traveled on the back of some butch’s motorcycle through New York State. She attended the wedding of two of the members. She’s even been thinking about buying a motorcycle for herself!

Her favorite Game of Thrones character is Brienne of Tarth

My mom wants to climb Brienne of Tarth like a tree. She’s obsessed with her and was just as disappointed as I was when it turned out the character wasn’t gay. Her second favorite character is, of course, gender nonconforming Arya.

One of her favorite movies ever is The Hunger

No matter if she was hot for Susan Sarandon, Catherine Deneuve or David Bowie… that shit’s gay!

She fully referred to herself as a lesbian once

I lived in North Carolina for a little over a year during the pandemic. Once, my mom and my lesbian sister visited me and during a car ride, I mentioned how nice it was to finally have another lesbian in the area. She looked me dead in the eyes and asked, “Who? Me?”

She frequented the NYC dyke club “Shescape” in the 80s

When my mom told me this she also told me that her friend, who is gay, used to get mad at her for going to Shescape since she wasn’t gay. To that I say… BI ERASURE!!!!

She co-founded a non-profit breast milk bank

The only thing that could make founding a non-profit gayer is if the non-profit was for boobs. Just kidding — it’s actually a really beautiful and important organization that quite literally helps save the lives of thousands of premature infants. HOWEVER, a lot of people do assume that she is gay when they find out what she does for work.

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Motti (they/he) is a New York born and raised sorority girl turned writer, comedian, and content creator (whatever that means these days). Motti has been featured on We're Having Gay Sex Live, The Lesbian Agenda Show, Reductress Haha Wow! Live, the GayJoy Digest, and even played the role of "Real Life Lesbian" on Billy on the Street. In 2022, they wrote about how clit sucker toys are a scam, sweet gay revenge, chasing their dreams, and getting run over by a pick up truck in their now-abandoned newsletter Motti is An Attention Whore. Motti has a Masters in Public Administration and Local Government Management, you'd never know it from the shit they post online (see previous sentence), but occasionally he'll surprise you with his knowledge of civic engagement and electoral processes. They live in Brooklyn with their tuxedo cat, Bo, and their 20 houseplants.

Motti has written 22 articles for us.


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