8 Nerdy Ways to Mend Your Broken Heart

This week, my girlfriend left for the summer because of “family” and “work” and she “stopped loving me.” (Well, not that last one, but this is my pity party and we play by my rules here.) To add insult to broken hearted injury,  my current boss cut my hours and job opportunities aren’t exactly coming out of the woodwork.

Fortunately, rather than just curling into the fetal position for two months straight, I’ll be periodically un-curling to treat my emotional wounds with this arsenal of geek time-suck coping mechanisms. They’re great for all around escapism, and also for hearts shattered into thousands of tiny pieces, like I may have mentioned.

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Seasons 1-7

If you’re reading this, I think you understand. My girlfriend’s gone and it’s time to bring out the big guns.

2. Star Trek: Birth of the Federation

Play as the Klingon Empire, United Federation, Ferengi Alliance or Romulan Star Empire and CONQUER EVERYTHING. Build an army, discover new technology, make friends/enemies with minor races, colonize planets, all time-consuming activities made even more time consuming by the fact that it’s turn-based. Time consuming is key here! You don’t want to go to the dark place, do you?

3. Final Fantasy VIII

Four discs long, people. FOUR. Probs you’ll all want me dead for picking this one and not FFVII, but this one is chock-full of full of despair and angst, and each randomly-encounter battle victory infuses me with the false sense of achievement I need to carry on in a life devoid of spooning. Also: pretty, overwrought cutscenes! And, Quistis is clearly a babe.

4. The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

Playing Wind Waker means spending about half of a game just travelling across a beautiful, hypnotic expanse of ocean. Which is, y’know, annoying, unless you have hours upon hours to kill. And I do.  Maybe you do too?

5. FFFFOUND

FFFFOUND is an image bookmarking site, so it’s kind of like Tumblr, except you won’t end up publishing terrible poetry in your darkest hour.  In fact, there are no AB rhyme schemes in sight; it’s all pictures! FFFFOUND’s got an unlimited amount of pages to browse through, of everything from rare gig posters to to neat typography to artwork of birds with jetpacks to…well, just go look. And don’t just look at hot girls. Stay on track!

6. Portal

Mac gaming client, Steam was giving Portal away for free a little while ago, so I scooped it up and I’m so happy I did. This game is the ultimate mindf*ck, so at least your brain will get some.

7. Quake III Arena

As one of the first games designed expressly for multiplayer play online, Q3A was a Big Deal back in 1999.  And it’s still a Big Deal to me.  Quake III Arena is crazy addictive, offering hours of playability with all the difficulty levels (ranging from “I Can Win” to “Nightmare”). It’s good for releasing some aggression, some frustration and some sad feelings. Violence can make you less depressed, remember?

8. Planet Earth

When I start feeling like a jerk for blunting my emotions and building that (admittedly elaborate) shrine to Joss Whedon, it’s time to check out Planet Earth. Watch the Discovery one (not the BBC) because it’s narrated by Sigourney Weaver. And she’s got a pretty husky voice, if you know what I mean. Sharks, caves, jungles, baby ducks– it’s all here. Just don’t get too caught up in all that spelunking imagery. That’s backtracking.

Kim is a student doing a double major in English and Gender Equality & Social Justice at Nipissing University in North Bay, Ontario. She works part time at a small brewery, and thus mostly smells like wine/ beer / a homeless person at the end of the day. In between enabling many an alcoholic and getting schooled in the ways of close reading and thinking critically, she plays a lot of video games, reads a lot of comics, spends a lot of time in the library, occasionally blogs, has feelings about the aforementioned things and then she snuggles with her cat / writes about them. The feelings, not her cat.

Kimbit has written 5 articles for us.

64 Comments

  1. World of Warcraft – so you can heal yourself and your party in-game despite the pain IRL. Plus it’s the biggest timesink of this decade, you’ll have fast-forwarded 3 months before you know it….

  2. Praise be to Autostraddle, I had already started watching Buffy so the other suggestions are greatly appreciated, distractions are much needed, silly women and their choosing of other people, le sigh, pass me the vodka please, Lou needs to get drunken! Vodka and Doctor Who will make it all better. :-)

  3. Perfect, epic win article. Buffy is my life. Lol. Just got out of a two year relationship, and although it was ended by me, things ending still hurts. Though I haven’t resorted to the fetal position playing videogames like I would if it were winter. I’ve been doing absolutely everything to be out of the house, hanging out with people, one in particular that is gorgeous and wonderful and totally not interested and taking a zillion photos. It’s a nice distraction from being sad and feeling guilty and like a jerk. Now that I read this, I feel the need to pop season 1 disc 1 of Buffy into my XBox and cuddle my pillow for the night. ;P

  4. Add Shadow of the Colossus. No game on earth conveys the sense of solitude, sadness and lung puncturing sensation of breakups. And slaying the 16 colossi feels just as sadly desperate as any breakup ever do.

  5. My boyfriend left me. I seek for help no one could do anything towards my condition not until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine Robinson.buckler. I contacted Robinson.buckler @ yahoo. com he assured me that my boyfriend will come back to me. I took his words with faith and today my boyfriend is back to me as well all within 24 hours after i contacted him. If there’s anyone out there that needs his help should get in touch with him now

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