The leaves have changed. The air has gone crisp. We’ve approached peak fall. Let’s make sure that your annual denim jacket is appropriately gay coded.

Denim Jackets That Are Fleece-Lined

1. Gap Oversized Sherpa Icon Denim Jacket (size XS-XXL, $60) // 2. Madewell Trucker Jean Jacket with Sherpa Collar (size 1X-4X, $120) // 3. Carhartt Relaxed Fit Denim Sherpa-Lined Jacket (size XS-XXL, $100)

I’m putting the fleece-lined jackets up on top because between me and you (shhhh!) I’m getting this list of denim jackets up a little late and I’m well aware that if you live on the Canadian border, like yours truly, your cute little denim jacket days are already numbered!

Some of us were forced to trick-or-treating with our costumes stretched over our snow suits as children, alright!?!? But hey, now there’s global warming. So, I guess? Yay?

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trucker Jackets

1. Gap Oversized Icon Denim Jacket (size XS-XXL, $53) // 2. Free People Denim Barn Coat (size XS-XL, $168) // 3. Dickies Denim Chore Coat (size XS-2XL, $85) // 4. Torrid Denim Trucker Jacket (size M-6X, $53)

Now if you’re paying attention, here is where you are going to ask me “Carmen what is the difference between a ‘trucker jacket’ and the ‘trucker jackets with lining’ that you just showed me in the section before?” And babe, I do not know!

It seems that “trucker jackets” are the vibe, the moment (you will see them all over this guide) — and who am I to argue? They are arguably pretty gender neutral.. though, on the face value of the thing, are not all denim jackets fairly gender neutral? Unless you get one of those ones that have a nipped in waist. But who’s to say a hoochie daddy doesn’t want to show off of their waistline! I’m spiraling.

Denim trucker jackets for sure feel gay. There’s something about the extra seam detail drawing from the pockets vertically down to the hemline that give them subtle “I don’t care, I’m here to work” razzle dazzle, and gays sure do love to razzle that dazzle. All I know is that I personally bought that oversized Gap trucker back in September (in XXL if you’re looking for yourself, I wear a size 18) and I have worn it every where, at all times, might as well bury me in it, and I have no regrets.

Denim Jackets That Are Also Trench Coats

1. Ralph Lauren Denim Trench Coat (size 14W-22W, $270) // 2. Los Angeles Apparel Lab Coat in Dusty Blue (One Size, $160) // 3. Anthropologie Polished Denim Trench Coat (size XXS-XL, $110) // 4. NY&Co Belted Medium Wash Denim Jacket (size S-L, $128)

A denim trench is what I believe should be in the updated uniform of mysterious power lesbians who have hard-wired boundaries where their gooey hearts should be, and the women who fall on their knees for them. And yes, this is a self-drag.

Denim Jackets That Have Hoods

1. American Eagle Hooded Denim Trucker Jacket (size XS-3XL, $100) // 2. Macy’s Trucker Hooded Denim Jacket (size S-2XL, $32) // 3. Flannel Lined Denim Jacket (size L-3X, $70)

Every single gay you know wears a hoodie layered underneath a denim jacket.  But what if the actual process of layering is just one too many steps for you? What if what you desire is a two-for-one combo? No judgement here. Be slouchy as fuuuuck.

Denim Jackets That Are White

1. Levi’s Trucker Jacket in Steel Hour (size S-3XL, $80) // 2. Dickies Madison Jacket in Light Denim (size S-2XL, $90) // 3. Madewell Trucker Crop Jacket in Glenrich Wash (size XS-2XL, $100) // 4. Madewell Trucker Jacket in Vintage Canvas (size 1X-4X, $124)

Is white still considered unexpected for fall? Do we still follow archaic fashion rules like “no white after Labor Day” when Nothing Makes Sense Anymore^TM

I can’t imagine that we do! But just in case, see my vision. Go with me on a journey. Imagine wearing one of these coats layered over one of your all signature black ensembles and tell me that you wouldn’t feel like you stepped out of The House of Usher as some kinda October glam goth luxury personified? I thought so.

Denim Jackets That Are Black

1. Gap Cozy-Lined Non-Stretch Black Jean Jacket (size M-4XL, $80) // 2. Gap Cinched Denim Jacket (size S-XXL, $53) // 3. Universal Standard Kelsey Denim Jacket (size 00-40, $138)

Gays love black. Gays loves shoving their hands into denim pockets. That is some real 2+2=4 math right there.

Denim Jackets That Are Any Other Color Than Blue

1. Levi’s Trucker Jacket in Washed Brown (size S-XXL, $98) // 2. Free People Opal Swing Denim Jacket in Heart Eyes (size XS-XL, $98) // 3. Levi’s Relaxed Fit Trucker Jacket in Purple (size XS-XXL, $108) // 4. Stretch Denim Jacket in Deep Claret (size 12W-38W, $80)

Perhaps you already own a denim jacket or two, because after all, you are gay. In that situation what you might be looking for is not a denim jacket at all — or at least not in the traditional sense.

And yes, I theoretically could make a “taste the rainbow” joke here, but certainly we all agree that would be too crude, basic, and immature.

Or… ???

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