Labeling your sexual orientation: some find it simple, some find it laborious, some would simply rather not. And, as in past years, many people who took the 2022 Autostraddle Reader Survey had a lot to say about their sexual orientations that did not fit neatly into any traditional label or survey response. But before we get into that, let’s look at the overall numbers:
Below those questions we asked “if different from your selection above, how would you describe your sexual orientation?” and 997 of you seized the opportunity: to say that you identify with multiple terms, to reflect a current period of confusion, to tell me that you’re into everybody except cis men, to express confusion about your sexuality following your partner coming out as trans, to say you’re politically a lesbian but sexually queer, to get more specific about your attractions, to write “McRibb”, to tell me that you hated labels in general. Surprisingly, more than one person wanted to tell me that although they identify as pansexual, they prefer the appearance of the bisexual flag.
From the ethers of this magical comment box, I have extracted a collection of the responses that I found particularly entertaining or interesting or comforting-to-those-who-might-relate-to-it, and now I am sharing those with you all here, today.
1. 99% lesbian, 1% holding space for the woman I used to be and the past relationships I had
2. That awkward Kinsey 1-2 space of perpetual bisexual impostor syndrome
3. My sexual orientation was never detected by anyone, it roams freely like a cryptid.
4. Women excite my whole being. Other people excite some of me for some time or some aspect.
5. guys are chill but i’m not sexually attracted to them
6. im gay 4 gay ppl
7. Everyone is kinda hot idk what that makes me 🤷🏽♀️
8. dykey fag / faggy dyke
9. get down on all fours
10. I am mostly t4t but also like women in a gay way and some men also in a gay way
11. I love reclaiming slurs so most of the time I call myself either a faggot or a dyke, depending on my mood
12. vamong us free robux tycoon
13. Currently my identity is weirdly closest to “not cis men, unless they’ve been in AMC’s The Terror (2018)”
14. Hasbian, as in done, out of business, given up, over the hill, fed up, retired, all dried up.
15. Bisexual, heavily into women/NB lovelies and Benedict Cumberbatch 😳
16. Took a bdsm quiz thats options included ‘homoflexible’, and I kinda latched on like a leech on a wound.
17. god I hate words (on a personal level! obviously whatever words bring you joy go for it)
18. Would have described myself as a lesbian until at 32 years old I fell in love with a cis man for the first time SO APPARENTLY IM BISEXUAL NOW
19. Absolutely no clue. I thought I was bisexual, but since falling in love with my girlfriend I am repulsed by all men.
20. People are gross
21. “may as well be a lesbian”
22. I don’t like labels but I like maths: 98% that my next relationship will be with a woman
23. I generally call myself gay because I am a gender queer bisexual misandrist
24. Best described as low effort, high style.
25. le dollar bean
26. Glitter Butch Dyke
27. Dangerous Bisexual
28. this survey is too long
29. Mostly lesbian, but I’m also coming out of a 10 year heterosexual marriage where I was mostly sexually satisfied, but always felt something was missing. Always was curious about women and now in a lesbian relationship and it feels so much more “right” than before
30. Some hybrid of queer lesbian ace plus the occasional TV man. I don’t think I’m generally attracted to straight people
31. Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, but in a way that’s about gender and chemistry and stuff?
32. Into other queer people / in love with my friends
33. fag of dyke experience
34. short answer: Tired. long answer: aromantic asexual kinky lesbian
36. IDK I’m genderqueer so definitely not “straight,” sometimes I say “queer” but I don’t want to give any of the cis gay boys in my friend group false hope so I’m trying on “femmesexual”
37. Probably straight but I have a crush on a female friend
40. Lipstick lesbian…. also raised by wolves
41. i don’t know if i’m bisexual or a lesbian but i am a girlkisser so jot that down
42. I’ve historically been bisexual and still think the term could apply to me but so much of my interactions with men are tied up in gender, it’s too much for me right now plus roe v wade ruined cis men until they go get my rights back
43. I like who I like and it happens very rarely
44. I called myself bi for years and it’s technically probably accurate but at the moment I stick with queer because it’s shorter than “I’m definitely into women and also kind of ace and I’m maybe into men but only very queer men and only occasionally and I haven’t done anything with a man since I was 21 soo ??”
46. I have zero interest in dating men, but Laneia’s recent hate-fuck article struck a *chord*. I’m into women but open to a good time, you know? Of course you do.