1. Avocado still in the rind with a spoon
2. Boxed wine
3. Peanut butter dipped in chocolate chips on a spoon
4. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream
5. Raw cookie dough
6. Banana with all natural peanut butter
7. Pirate’s Booty
8. Starbursts
9. Mac ‘n cheese
10. Animal crackers
11. Sweet chili Cheetos
12. Cheez-its
13. Frosties
14. Mini snickers
15. Pei Wei noodles and sauce
16. Cereal
17. Kettle corn
18. Trader Joe’s pinot grigio
19. Gin
20. Brownie batter
21. Annie’s shells
22. Icing out of a can
23. Buttered noodles
24. Otter Pops
25. Instant pudding
26. Microwavable chicken pot pie
27. Chipwiches
28. Ice cream cake
29. Phish food
30. Homemade nutty buddy/puppy chow
31. Cupcakes with cookie dough inside
32. Macaroni and cheese cheeseburger
33. Little Debbie seasonal cakes
34. Trader Joes mini peanut butter cups from the fridge
35. The Trader Joes chocolate chip dunkable cookies, possibly called Dunkers or Chippers
36. Alcoholic milkshakes from Cheesecake Factory
37. Half the menu at Cheesecake Factory
I would like to add to this list:
38. Tequila
39. Someone else’s mouth
Bender anyone?
I nominate #39 for the win.
Also, 40. Spray cheese
Re #39: Am I the only one for whom The Teaches of Peaches (like sex on the beaches) doesn’t for work whilst navigating the post-breakup/breakwhatever haze?
Also I’d like to nominate CHEEEEEESECAKEEEEEEE, even if you’re lactose intolerant and will subsequently spend the rest of your night frightening your roommate with your intermittent wretching sounds
Yeah, fucking the pain away usually only involves me doing me when I’m fresh from a break up.
remember that time I was so desperate I drank tequila without lemons? me neither!
#39 is better than anything on this list.
I think…everything? Everything tastes better because food is better than pain.
Everything except her favorite food I mean.
But her favorite food was gross to begin with.
what does it say about me that when i read this list my initial thought was, “well if you’re feeling really self-loathing, you should probably make all your ex’s favorite foods…” yeah. i’m That Girl in a break-up. sigh.
41. If you’re Dutch, the giant dark chocolate letter J you were gonna give her for Feast of St. Nicolas (Sinterklaas), melted down and made into chocolate strawberries to be enjoyed with your bestie while watching Buffy. They tasted like vengeance and cultural pride.
Also I second the tequila.
I really like the inclusion of Buffy there. Specifically the 6th season. Lesbians. A musical. And Willow goes bad.
I just have to say that, ahem, “special” brownies can do wonders…..
I call ’em gay brownies, but that’s just me.
42. All drinks above 40% ABV
#3 – Yes! Now I can enjoy my strange little snack in peace and without judgment.
Also #18 – Nothing wrong with some three buck chuck. Even if you’re drinking it alone. While sewing. And watching Downton Abbey.
43. Handfuls of high-sugar breakfast cereal, straight out of the box.
Am I the only one who completely loses their appetite for anything after a break up?
Hear, hear.
My break-ups usually function as unintentional courses in crash dieting. :(
you are not alone. I always feel nauseous after a break up. I lost 20 lbs this last go around. I suppose it would be different if the breakup was something I wanted.
You are most definitely not the only one. I barely eat anything for a few weeks because I have zero appetite. Then my appetite comes back and I eat everything in sight.
oh god yes, lost like 25 lbs last summer and all my relatives ever said to me for a couple of months was along the lines of “why are you so skinny? don’t you know it’s not healthy?? EAT MORE CHILD!” and then after while no one commented on my weight anymore, so i suppose i’ve gained it all back nowā¦
I do this. I didn’t eat for over a week after my past two break-ups, with the exception of the occasional rice cake or creamy soup because that was the only thing I could keep down without vomiting. Though I could keep down whiskey no problem, interestingly enough.
For sure – zero appetite. I think the thinnest I’ve ever been post-puberty was about a month or two after my last breakup. I also consistently had a headache cause that’s what happens when I miss a meal.
Hello! I’m 5kgs lighter than I was in February. Though #1,3 & 19 have definitely had their moments, and if we had cheesecake factory here I think 36 would have too.
amen, sister! I always go through a weeklong bender of eating nothing and drinking beer. With this recent break-up though, I think I should give those yummy alcoholic milkshakes a try…
pasta and ketchup for a week.
so disgusting, yet so good.
This is a good list! I would like to add: Expensive red wine your brother orders for his birthday dinner that you drink most of because you are insane with melancholy
None of this applies to me since I have never had a break up with anyone. :( But all of these are still good.
PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa
All of this. I can practically feel the shame glaze (1 part sweat, 2 parts ice cream/popcorn residue), picturing the consumption of said items, nestled in a futon, watching HGTV endlessly.
I have a friend who we are pretty sure gave herself an ulcer by only eating chips and salsa for a week post-break-up.
I would like to retitle this article… “37 (and more) Delicious Things That Become Infinitely More Delicious ALWAYS”
Exponential deliciousness!
#7. Oh, #7 – there’s a bar called Pirate’s where I’m at uni, and TRUST ME ON THIS, Pirate’s booty is always great after a breakup…
best post
also freschetta pizza
CARBS> I am a fan of breakfast so usually I drown my sorrows at I-HOP.
i tend to get addicted to takeout post-breakup. nothing like wearing sweatpants all day and not having to leave the house to buy real food. cupcakes from fancy bakeries are good too.
I buy myself boxed chocolate and spit out the ones I don’t like, all while wearing long johns and listening to Rumors on vinyl. For days.
Add to this list:
1. Nutella straight from the jar
2. Buffalo chicken dip from Eat’n Park
oh, how i love nutella. i was craving it today, but i decided to fight the craving :(
What is a macaroni and cheese cheeseburger? Does such a thing really exist in the real world?
I saw a macaroni and cheese cheeseburger featured on the show ‘Man vs Food’ once and I was equally mortified / compelled to try one.
If you’ve never dated anyone, I guess you’d never have had a break-up. I think most of the foods listed here would make me fat, and I’m already ugly.
Don’t be so hard on yourself that special someone just hasn’t come around yet.
pinot grigio and cigarettes.
:/
I had no idea that The Cheesecake Factory sold alcoholic milkshakes and now I must experience one. (cc: riese, marni)
Peppermint schnapps? (straight from the bottle if you’re really feeling down…)
OR mixed in hot chocolate if you want something delicious!
For me, there was nothing like the first strip of bacon after breaking up with a kosher vegetarian.
I really don’t mean to be so English, but, tea. Copious amounts.
– A whole box of Ding Dongs
– Cheez-its dipped in Nutella eaten with my bare fingers.
Mac and cheese too!
gummy bears and popcorn. Mostly because if I throw the gummy bears at the tv they’ll stick.
I’ve actually lost 10 pounds since I broke up with my girlfriend in june. Always happens to me after a break up. Don’t crave food at all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lPQZni7I18
i’m just going to leave this here…
Or going to a Tegan & Sara concert, and hooking up with Tegan!…
…went to the concert, but only got to look at the eye candy. :(
Dude, you are not ok. Only food and drinks taste better?!
You better go out and find things to do besides eating and drinking