27 4th of July Recipes That ARE NOT Hot Dogs

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people.

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The only thing worse than Donald Trump being an actual contender for the position of President of the United States is the thought of facing down that reality while eating a hot dog. My beloved Mey Rude, correct about so many things (most things, in fact) is so wrong about hot dogs. Also wrong about them is: Riese Bernard. Why, just a few weeks ago I explained on an A+ podcast why everyone should not eat hot dogs, and Riese went right out to Kroger and bought hot dogs and ate them for a week! Let me save you from this fate, my children. Below are 27 4th of July recipes and NONE of them are hot dogs. And I covered it all, even the booze, so you do not have to do it. You do not have to eat a hot dog this Indepence Day.


All-American Side Dishes

Grilled Corn

grilled-corn


Barbecue Deviled Eggs


Roasted Sweet Potato and Okra Salad


Watermelon With Feta

spicy-watermelon


Spicy Watermelon Soup

watermelon-soup


Flamin’ Hot Cheeto Mac and Cheese

mac-and-cheese


Vegan Potato Salad

vegan-potato


All-American Main Dishes

American Flag Pizza

flag-pizza


Berry Grilled Cheese

berry-cheese


BBQ Planked Salmon


Double Barbecue Bacon Chicken 

double-bbq


Cheeseburger Sliders

cheesburger-sliders


Turkey Burger With Lemon Mayo 

turkey-burger


Steak and Potatoes

steak-potatoes


Grilled Ribs with Cherry Coke BBQ Sauce

cherry-coke-ribs


Orange Grilled Beer Can Chicken

berr-chicken


Vegan Black Bean Burger

black-bean-burger


Vegan Grilled Tofu and Squash


All-American Desserts

Patriotic Ice Cream Cones

4-ice-cream


American Flag Cake

flag-cake


Cherry Berry Shortcake Stars

shortcake


Vegan Strawberry Pie

strawberry


All-American Booze

Boozy Patriotic Snow Cones

snow-cones


Red, White and Blue Boozy Slushies

slushies


Patriotic Champagne Spritzer

patriotic-spritzer


A Good Ol’ Fashioned Beer From a Female Helmed Brewery

beer

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior writer who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 1000 articles for us.

21 Comments

  1. As an American, I like the flag cake and pizza. As a Texan, I LOVE all the Barbecue recipes. As a Latina, I screamed out like a fan girl getting a kiss from Joan Jett when I saw the grilled corn aka ELOTES! Put some butter, cream or mayonnaise, queso fresco and top it off with valentina sauce and you will want to slap your momma into Bastille day. We need more grilled corn in our lives.

  2. You decry hot dogs, and offer up watermelon soup as an alternative? For the first time ever, I have to say that I just can’t with you right now, Heather Hogan. Watermelon soup? Watermelon SOUP?! Watermelon. Soup. *furrows brow*

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