27 4th of July Recipes That ARE NOT Hot Dogs

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people.

for food lists

The only thing worse than Donald Trump being an actual contender for the position of President of the United States is the thought of facing down that reality while eating a hot dog. My beloved Mey Rude, correct about so many things (most things, in fact) is so wrong about hot dogs. Also wrong about them is: Riese Bernard. Why, just a few weeks ago I explained on an A+ podcast why everyone should not eat hot dogs, and Riese went right out to Kroger and bought hot dogs and ate them for a week! Let me save you from this fate, my children. Below are 27 4th of July recipes and NONE of them are hot dogs. And I covered it all, even the booze, so you do not have to do it. You do not have to eat a hot dog this Indepence Day.

All-American Side Dishes

Grilled Corn


Barbecue Deviled Eggs

Roasted Sweet Potato and Okra Salad

Watermelon With Feta


Spicy Watermelon Soup


Flamin’ Hot Cheeto Mac and Cheese


Vegan Potato Salad


All-American Main Dishes

American Flag Pizza


Berry Grilled Cheese


BBQ Planked Salmon

Double Barbecue Bacon Chicken 


Cheeseburger Sliders


Turkey Burger With Lemon Mayo 


Steak and Potatoes


Grilled Ribs with Cherry Coke BBQ Sauce


Orange Grilled Beer Can Chicken


Vegan Black Bean Burger


Vegan Grilled Tofu and Squash

All-American Desserts

Patriotic Ice Cream Cones


American Flag Cake


Cherry Berry Shortcake Stars


Vegan Strawberry Pie


All-American Booze

Boozy Patriotic Snow Cones


Red, White and Blue Boozy Slushies


Patriotic Champagne Spritzer


A Good Ol’ Fashioned Beer From a Female Helmed Brewery


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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1718 articles for us.


  1. Canadian here, so I won’t be celebrating 4th of July, but I’d still love to try to make that amazing-looking flag cake!

  2. As an American, I like the flag cake and pizza. As a Texan, I LOVE all the Barbecue recipes. As a Latina, I screamed out like a fan girl getting a kiss from Joan Jett when I saw the grilled corn aka ELOTES! Put some butter, cream or mayonnaise, queso fresco and top it off with valentina sauce and you will want to slap your momma into Bastille day. We need more grilled corn in our lives.

  3. MAC AND CHEETOS. probably a little nasty and definitely over indulgent. god bless the usa

  4. Oh my goodness @ most of these. I was wondering how they made the pepperoni on that pizza blue until I looked at the recipe and saw that they were purple potatoes.

    • You saved me trouble of buying blue food dye. But the more I think about it, the more I want to dye pepperoni other colors instead of buying more potatoes.

  5. I’m Canadian, so the 4th of July and associated foods means nothing to me, but I found this dialogue re: hotdogs between Mey and Heather hilarious.

  6. You decry hot dogs, and offer up watermelon soup as an alternative? For the first time ever, I have to say that I just can’t with you right now, Heather Hogan. Watermelon soup? Watermelon SOUP?! Watermelon. Soup. *furrows brow*

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