Next week, Pretty Little Liars will air its first ever Christmas special, “How the A Stole Christmas.” The more I think about the holiday season in Rosewood, PA, the more I think I finally have this thing figured out — A is Santa Claus. Here are 19 things A and Santa have in common. Laugh if you want, but this theory is at least as good as the stuff Spencer comes up with, you guys.
1. They both wear red coats all day every day, no matter the season.
2. They see you when you’re sleeping.
3. They know when you’re awake.
4. They know if you’ve been bad or good.
5. They reward/punish you based on this arbitrary scale of good/evil.
6. They sneak into your house to leave toys when you’re asleep.
7. They kiss your mom.
8. They use slave labor to accomplish impossible tasks.
9. “Jump in bed and cover your head” is one of the only ways to deal with them.
10. They would run over your grandma.
11. They pick nerdy outcasts with magical powers to lead their teams.
12. They are everywhere and nowhere.
13. They both keep workshops full of doll parts.
14. Neither of them can be tracked, even by the most sophisticated software/mind matrixes.
15. They’re full of secrets.
16. Only an insane teenager would ever admit to an adult that they think Santa Claus/A exists.
17. You never know which one is the real one.
18. They have the uncanny ability to make animals do their bidding.
19. They’re coming to town, whether you like it or not.
“How the A Stole Christmas” happens next Tuesday, December 9, at 8:00 pm!