by riese & rachel
What is Vice co-founder and current Thought Catalog thinker Gavin McInnes‘s deal? Is he just a shock jock? Traffic bait? A literal pile of garbage and obvious clickbait zipped into a human suit? Are his pieces meant to be satirical and if so, to what end and why are they so bad at being satire? Is his actual role at Thought Catalog “Troller-in-Chief?” Why did he write this fitting indictment of rapists and pedophiles who get a free pass ’cause they’re famous but also this piece about why Terry Richardson is being wronged and also this piece about how poverty is a myth? It’s really hard to figure out what this guy is going for.
We’re about 10% curious and 90% don’t care because seriously, fuck this guy and the shrine to Tucker Max in his closet. The Advocate noted that today McInnes pulled off just the most transphobic article ever, but composing a full on rebuttal is just more emotional energy than this rape apologist misogynist transphobe deserves.
Obviously there are a lot of things about being Gavin McInnes, as well as everything else, that only Gavin McInnes understands. Here are quotes pulled from his extensive body of work on Thought Catalog, thoughts which we do not understand ourselves. It’s ok though, because if there’s one thing Gavin McInnes is happy to do, it’s explain all the things we clearly aren’t smart enough to get.
1. Terry Richardson couldn’t have pressured models into having sex because “if a girl doesn’t want to have sex, she doesn’t have sex.”
(via 10 Things The Media Gets Wrong About Photographer Terry Richardson)
2.”If you see a guy in London who is really well dressed and overly polite, he is a murderer.”
(via Five Types of Guys That Make Me Horny)
3. “A woman with short hair would need the curves of Amber Rose to not look like a boy from behind. Just because you can cut off long hair doesn’t mean you can pull off short hair.”
(via Hey ladies! Short Hair is Rape!)
4. Trans men aren’t actually men, they’re just confused butch lesbians. “Butch lesbians are ladies with a lot of testosterone who should put a dick on a belt and fuck their girlfriends, not turn their vagina inside out. You’re not a man. You don’t even know what Turf Builder is.“
(via Transphobia is Perfectly Natural)
5. “To fight against transphobia is to justify [tr*nnies]. To justify [tr*nnies] is to allow mentally ill people to mutilate themselves. When your actions are getting people mutilated, you’re at war with them.”
(via Transphobia is Perfcetly Natural)
6. “Men with normal dicks are consumed with better penises, and it affects everything about your friendship. It’s like being cursed with a Batman uniform when all you want to do is hang out with Robin as an equal.”
(via I’m A Big Dick and I Also Have One)
7. “When girls get drunk, they go from fun and cute… to loud and dumb… to totally unintelligible… and then catatonic. This last part is fucking scary because you know the switch is about to go CLICK and the “creaturewp_postsis going to come out. The creature is a monster parasite that uses drunken women’s bodies as a host to wreak havoc on the entire city.”
(via When Is It Okay to Hit a Woman)
8. “Young girls aren’t fat but pretty much every woman over 30 could stand to lose as many pounds.”
(via Are Women Lazy)
9. “Outside of sitting in a bed surrounded by pictures of Jennifer Aniston, a woman’s favorite thing to do is go to a spa.”
via itsokaybaby
(via Are Women Lazy)
10. “…when you include prison (why would you not?), men get raped way more than women do. So if anyone gets to be sanctimonious about sexual assault, it’s us.”
(via no short hair is not literally rape)
11. “Straight men are a great scapegoat because we rarely complain.”
(via Are Women Lazy)
12. “Racism doesn’t pervade every part of modern life, but when you have a liberal-arts education, anti-racism sure does.”
(via Everything I Learned in College Was a Lie)
13. “Through trial and error, I learned [women] want to be downright abused. When I stopped playing nice and began totally defiling the women I slept with, the number of them willing to sleep with me went through the roof.”
(via Everything I Learned in College Was a Lie)
14. “You can’t barf standing straight up, but if you lean your head too far down, your sinuses get filled with carrots.”
15. “Being catcalled and constantly seen as a sex object is a tiring nightmare that has driven many a gal to Islam where she can hide her gifts in a burqa.”
16. “I’ve watched my wife give birth three times thus far and it’s not that bad.”
(via tips on how to puke)
17. “I think kids were better off when they were hanging from a basketball hoop by their underwear.”
(via Getting Wasted Is Wasted On The Young)
18. “Judging from the size of your average American poor person, they’re not exactly starving to death. “
(via The Myth of Poverty)
cool article but does it weird anyone else out that a gif of a transgender young man was attached to the quote about butches? let’s not conflate the two.
actually! i know it’s confusing because gavin is JUST THAT SPECIAL, but the point of that line was that gavin thinks all trans men are just butch lesbians, not men. maybe it makes more sense in context, but the gif was intended to be a rebuttal to that assertion, we intentionally chose a gif of a trans man saying that he is a man, not just a person who feels masculine.
it was gavin who conflated the two, not us. we were pointing out that they’re not the same at all.
I think the context of that quote was that he thinks trans men *are* butch lesbians.
I understood the quote was actually about trans men which the author invalidate by calling them butch women.
You put it on your grass to make it pretty.
I didn’t know this until a few months ago when I bought a house with a wee bit of grass. A wee bit of very ugly grass. I guess that’s when I became butch….
but seriously what is turf builder
due to my gender i am incapable of providing you with that information as it cannot fit into my head
You put it on your grass to make it pretty.
I didn’t know this until a few months ago when I bought a house with a wee bit of grass. A wee bit of tragic grass. I guess that’s when I became butch….
its a fertilizer for grass made by the Scotts company…….the chemicals in the fertilizer go up through the roots to the grass blades where the plan uses the chemicals to make its food through tthe process of photosynthesis when sunlight interacting with the chlorophyll which is then sent back to roots and the roots grow……..and the grass gets pretty. :)
I work in the garden dept. at HomeDepot……….which technically means I have to 1. be alive and 2. be able to lift a bag of mulch
I think it’s a tool used by Carmen in recruitment for the Lesbian Feminist Agenda, but who knows ;)
Nice one! Michala…:)
Actually, when I read the reference to “turf builder”, I thought at first it was some new steroid for guys to build muscle………. somewhere other than their head…….
Tbh I hated that guy already just from the picture of his stupid jacket but then he gave me SO MANY NEW REASONS with his words!
I totally want to give him a makeover! We will give him a new jacket, plus pogies because dude should be discouraged from ever typing anything ever again.
O… my…. fucking….. god!!!
Now I understand what “dickhead” means!!!
Ugh, glad I unfollowed “Thought Catalog” about a year ago.
Oh, also glad I started following Autostraddle at some point!
1. I think I hate Thought Catalog more than I hate Buzzfeed, which is a lot.
2. I have an urge to cut my hair even shorter than it already is
3. How the fuck does this guy have a wife? And three kids? That means he’s had sex at least three times. How did he convince somebody to do that?
it is really hard on any given day to decide which of those two sites i hate more, it’s a real problem i have
“Straight men are a great scapegoat because we rarely complain.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,
no.
Speaking as what I’m told society deems a straight man: wonder if they guy even knows the meaning of the word complaint. Or the word ‘of.’ Or for that matter the word ‘or.’
He never met this guy friend I had who did nothing but complain our entire friendship. So much so, that we’re no longer friends because I couldn’t take it anymore (see: “but i’m a good guy syndrome”)
I’m an EMT, and let me just say that I work with mostly straight, white, middle-class cis men and they are the whiniest bunch of bitches you will ever meet.
Well, he got the “goat” part right, at least!
No.
Why do ideas like his even exist? Seriously, why? I do not understand how anyone could fully believe any of these things, let alone all of them at once. The sheer stupidity is both mind blowing and enraging.
YES! That’s exactly what I wanted to say! I realize that there can be a certain antiseptic benefit to having the most obtuse and small-minded persons inane quotes hi-lighted for all to see, but really how much extra publicity does creep need? How many sincere persons male or female (or somewhere in-between) gay or straight (or somewhere in-between) would what to be tied to these quotes-in public?
In the wake of having just lost such a rare combination of public humor, smarts and kindness as Robin Williams, do we really need to draw attention to TWO major assholes with a blogs and little else of note in less than twenty-four hours!? There enough online to be depressed about as it is.
I’m just going to go ahead and take #12 as a compliment.
ummm. wow. i hope to G*d he isn’t this dumb, please please please, for the sake of humanity.
I shudder to think of the kind of woman to willingly marry and raise a family with this unspeakable pile of shit. I think that’s what shocks me the most.
I am terrified for his children. Especially if he has girls.
I expect in twenty years’ time stories will emerge about how heinously awful a parent he was.
I’m more upset that their is a woman out there that is fucking him on a regular basis and saw fit to procreate at least three times with him. She is the one who really needs help in this situation.
Call Carmen
He said women don’t invent stuff or know how cement works.
…
…
A woman invented Kevlar, which can be used to reinforce cement.
And… just so much is wrong. So much. I’m going to just go back to Sunday Funday and purritos now, okay?
I came for the free cookies. But there are no free cookies. Only hatred, and idiocy. Very sadness. So angst. Much disappoint.
We were to understand there’d be pie and punch.
This really reminded me why I love Jenny Schecter though. That face of like, contempt I guess, is a beautiful response to this guy’s ridiculous shit.
What… I just… how… why? Is he trolling? I can’t wrap my head around anything this guy says. I feel like I need a shower now.
Riese, thanks for putting this article together – reaction GIFs are the only way to go here, and it spared me from actually encountering his articles.
I love how this guy just gleefully skids on his certainty that all trans people are straight.
I’m *almost* curious about what horseshit he would come up with next if someone pointed the flaw in his ‘just a bunch of fairies and butches’ theory there.
A moment before reading this I was superhappy a girl said yes to going out this weekend… and then I read this, and I kinda want to just bury myself.
How about all AS folk get together, buy an island, and start our own country free of such rubbish?
SEPARATIST COMMUNE
I’d contribute to that Kickstarter.
I nominate Carmen to be our head priestess of raging lesbian communism.
Here here!
I’ll bring spaghetti!
…oh wait. I’m a woman, and therefore can’t cook because I only rely on takeout or the husband I don’t have to cook for me. womp womp.
Amid the tragi-larity of this fool, it kind of struck me that I have literally seen exactly the same shit about trans women coming from self-proclaimed feminists who would be exactly as pissed as I am about everything else he’s saying.
If there’s any good that can possibly come out of this, I hope it makes some people question the company that transphobic opinions keep – like, that a thought process to which that stuff makes perfect sense also produces all this awful crap about rape and race and so on.
But realistically there is probably no good that can come of Shits McAssbeard and his needy reaching to be edgy.
Shits McAssbeard
This is my new favorite thing of all time.
What utter horse shit.
I’ve never been to a spa in my life, have no desire to and I care not one god damn bit for Aniston. Generalizations like these piss me off so fucking much. More so that people STILL believe/agree with them.
Seriously, I’m pretty sure spending time at a spa would either bore me to tears or scare me to death. (Strangers touching me? Why??) That claim is downright bizarre.
I am torn between feeling angry/disgusted and just laughing hysterically at the concept that straight men get scapegoated because they “don’t complain.” Given that pathetic straight cis white dudes saying asinine things is nothing new, and I will give myself an aneurysm if I get infuriated every time it happens, I’m trying hard to make my way over to just laughing hysterically for now.
Is this guy fucking serious?
I NEED A TRIGGER WARNING
The Jenny Schecter gif was quite nice. Thank you mister ass face for writting troll-y essays about yer assy feefees just so Riese could sift through your purposely pungent shit to write this list and use said Jenny gif.
Mmmm Jenny.
Sorry, who is this strange little man?
Also: AWESOME GIFS.
These are some of the silliest opinions I’ve ever read. I can’t take this guy even remotely seriously.
You guys I’m a lady femme who knows what turf builder is, what do I do now, who am I, is this the real life, etc.
Equally hilarious is the implication that all men DO know about turf builder, concrete, etc.
What is your secret, Divergent Wisewoman!?!?!
But more importantly, what is a turf builder?
A classical example of a hipster. And it’s your problem to live in the world you create. i have my goth/ebm/dark electro scene and am glad i am not confined to this.
Back in my day this type had the dignity to hide away on Portal of Evil/4chan/Something Awful, not collect a paycheck for page clicks.
I know it’s one of the least offensive things he said, but I can’t get over the bizarre nature of number nine… pictures of Jennifer Aniston? That’s a universally female trait? I don’t… what?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if Jenny Schekter was real, and alive, and her “thing” was that she went to every douchbag’s house to reenact that Mark scene with the video cameras?
I’m not even sure how to process all the disgust that just occurred in me because of this…..
On a side note, LOVE Jenny
I want to gauge my eyes out. Or punch him. Maybe both.
Uhg, this guy sounds like the worst.
About #10, I’ve heard that argument before, and what I hate about it is that it conveniently glosses over the fact that it is still men that are raping. So how does that contradicts the fact that we should teach men not to rape? I don’t get it…
This is one of the most traumatic weeks I’ve experienced on the Internet.