A Shot at Tila Tequila: The Autostraddle Interview

tila-croppedTila Nguyen, now known as “Tila Tequila,” was born in Singapore on October 24th, 1981, to French Vietnamese parents who emigrated there after the Vietnam War. A year later, her family moved to a strict gated community in Houston, Texas. A young rascaly tomboy, Nguyen was eventually sent to boarding school for her “combative behavior” and upon returning home she got mixed up with drugs, joined a gang, tried to turn her life around, and eventually fled her hometown at the age of 16 for Queens, New York with $300 dollars in her pocket. She returned to Houston when the money ran out and worked as a stripper. Eventually she was discovered at the Sharpstown Mall by a Playboy scout, which launched her modeling career.

Tila first showed up on our radar in 2007 when MTV began airing the abominable bisexual dating show A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Did you, like us, watch it anyhow, like the guiltiest guilty pleasure ever? Did you see Season Two and if so, were you also struck dumb around episode 205 when you realized that Tila was serious? You know; about love? Remember? Lisa the hawt softball player was sick of “the game” and hating the player, some dude named Bo got busted in the chin fighting with another male contestant, and Tila was crying about how she really did just want love and you realized OMG, those aren’t alligator tears. And maybe, like us, you felt empathy. Hang on to that.

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Tila on the first season of "A Shot at Love"

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See, now that Tila’s come out as a big ol’ lez, the fact that she built her empire by amassing male sexual desire & affirmation is suddenly way more interesting. It’s just so easy to hate on Tila, like she’s her own worst enemy, and so when we were ragging on Tila a few weeks back about her lesbianism, we floated an idea — Why don’t we just call her? Why don’t we just talk to Tila Tequila?

So: forget that her ideas about relationships and her catty “retaliations” against celeb “haters” can seem very seventh grade. Forget all the pent up hatred you’ve let seethe over the years and forget her crazy videos, her crazy blogs, and the very bad-for-bisexuals TV show.

If you forget everything you think you know about Tila Tequila, she’s actually pretty fun to talk to. Admittedly, I went into my interview with Tila this week expecting very little. No, she’s not a rocket scientist, and I still don’t understand or like a lot of the things she’s said and done. But during our half-hour phone conversation, she made me laugh easily and endeared herself to me.

So take it or leave it, here’s our shot at Tila Tequila.


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Lola: I feel like there are a million things I need to ask you, because you’re all over the news these days! So first off, how has coming out as a lesbian affected your life?

Tila: It’s really changed my life. I’m happier than ever, because a few weeks later I got to announce my engagement to my fiancée, Casey Johnson. My life is just totally different than I had ever imagined! It’s really good; I’m really excited!

Lola: Did you have an “a-ha!” moment, where you realized you were a lesbian and not bisexual?

Tila: Well, that was the moment where it kind of scared me. I started realizing it for a long time, but I was in denial, of course. Recently, after the whole incident with [Shawne Merriman] – and even before that – I kept thinking back, “What’s wrong with me? Why do I always pick the wrong guys? Why am I not attracted? Why am I always single?” I started asking myself questions like that, and thinking, “What was the longest relationship I’ve ever been in with a guy?” That was only six months, and it was a long distance relationship. And the fact that he was totally like a girl [laughs] played a huge factor in me realizing, “Oh, my gosh!” I picked guys that I thought girls like me were supposed to date. I thought that girls like me would date football players, even though I’m not attracted to them.

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Lola: Right, because you’re a “sex symbol”.

Tila: Right, because I didn’t have that connection, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. That was my “a-ha!” moment [laughs]. That’s when I realized I only had sex with guys, but I would kick them out immediately, and I felt disgusted. And they’d always call like, “Why are you dissing me? You’re a little player.” I’m not a player – I just think it’s disgusting!

Lola: You got this bad reputation, even though it was actually because you’re gay.

Tila: Right, that was really weird.

Lola: So, your longest relationship was only six months. Do you think marriage will be a struggle for you? That’s a huge leap!

“I just want people to see me for who I really am, and not how the media always paints me. I am so not that person. I’m actually really caring, and I’m not a wreck.”

Tila: Well, I think marriage is a struggle for anybody. The first week after announcing our engagement, we had a lot of talks. Within a week, I felt like it was five months. [laughs] We had talks about everything. You have the first couple weeks of butterflies, where you’re like, “I love you! We’re gonna be together forever!” And the next week is like, “OK, these are the rules. If you want this to work out, this is what we have to do.”

Lola: That sounds so gay.

Tila: [laughs] It’s so gay!

Lola: You know, the lesbian processing…

Tila: Exactly, it’s like the U-Haul stereotype, moving in the next day. She brought in her two dogs – you can hear them barking now [laughs] – and all her stuff. And it started driving me crazy, because I have to work. So, we had to sit down and talk for a couple of days. We went through it all, and now we have a schedule worked out, and it’s really amazing.

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I told her, “Look, your past relationships are not like this one. The past is the past. Love is about being selfless. Maybe in your past relationships, you were selfish, where you expected your partner to do everything for you. But everything I do for you is selfless.” You have to start thinking about the other person first, how things will affect them – and blah-blah-blah, all that gay stuff! [laughs] So now, it’s working out really well, because she and I understand that we’re supposed to be in each other’s lives to enhance, to be a bonus, not a distraction or an aggravation.

Lola: Totally. Now that you have that part out of the way, are you two planning the wedding?

Tila: We’ve actually been talking about that. We were really excited, but then we realized that we can’t get married in Los Angeles. I’m friends with the Kardashians, and they’re allowed to get married. I’m happy for them, but it makes us realize, “Wow, we’re not allowed to get married.” All of our friends, especially Casey’s, live in L.A., but in order to make it a legal marriage, we’d have to go somewhere like Iowa or Vermont. I think that’s really unfair.

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So, we’re trying to figure that out, whether we’ll have just a fun wedding ceremony for all of our friends here, and then get it legalized in one of those other states. We’re really fighting for gay rights. Now I understand what it feels like, because we really want to be together, and it sucks that we can’t have a lavish, wonderful wedding and share it with everyone here. We’re still planning it out.

[noise in the background] Oh, here she is! She knows I’m doing interviews right now, so she’s going into the other room to do her work. [dogs barking] And keep the dogs quiet, honey! [laughs]

Lola: Aww, is that her dog in the background?

Tila: Yeah, my dog is a good girl; she doesn’t bark. [laughs] Casey, say hi! [Casey says “Hi!” in the background]

Lola: Hi, Casey!

Tila: Oh, my God. [laughs]

Lola: It sounds crazy!

Tila: Yeah, chaotic. The dogs just knocked over a vase, but Casey’s gonna clean that up! So, let’s put on a smiley face and continue our interview. [laughs]

Lola: Well, how do you react to gossip, like Courtenay Semel badmouthing your relationship with Casey?

Tila: I think Courtenay is really, really sad and lonely. Casey and I have nothing to do with her. The funny thing is, the minute Casey and I got engaged, the first thing I did was write to Courtenay. I said, “Hey, I know we haven’t spoken in over a year, but out of respect, I want you to know that Casey and I got engaged. I hope you can be happy for us, because we’re really happy. We’re really looking forward to starting our lives together, and starting fresh, with no drama. I hope you’re doing well; I just wanted to tell you this out of respect.”

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Tila with her ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel

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And – proving that money cannot buy you class – this girl is out there slandering us, doing sit-down interviews about us, saying our rings are fake, saying Casey’s broke, blah-blah-blah… Why doesn’t she just leave us alone and let us be? She’s trying to press charges, and go after Casey, doing all this crazy stuff… I just wish that she could find love, and someone to love her one day, so she’ll understand. ‘Cause when you’re in love, you don’t care about other people’s lives; you’re in your own world.

Lola: Right, you don’t waste time trying to bring other people down.

Tila: Yeah, Casey and I just lie in bed and we plan our future. We spoke to my brother yesterday about having the baby. We’re excited! Courtenay is the last thing on our minds. I’d just like to tell her and anybody else who’s trying to bring us down, “God bless you all. I hope one day you can find true love like Casey and I have found. Let us be, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” We have better things to do, like raising a family! [laughs]

Lola: Yeah, tell us about that!

Tila: Well, I’m in the process of adopting a daughter – Casey has a three-year-old daughter, named Ava. We have a lot, a lot, a lot of things going on! [laughs] Casey and I joke around that we should have a show called The Dysfunctional Functional Family. [laughs]

Lola: Would you want to have another show? You had a dating show, but your real life sounds way more interesting.

Tila: Yeah, I think a reality show about this life would be really hilarious and fun, because it’s very family-oriented. It’s very chaotic. It’s very dysfunctional, yet functional. [laughs] We’re lesbians having a baby, but I’m [carrying a surrogate baby for my brother].

Lola: It sounds like a soap opera, but it’s real. [laughs]

Tila: [Casey interjects] She just interrupted my interview, and said “functionally dysfunctional” – put that in bold!

Lola: You should market that to MTV.

Tila: Yeah, I think that would be a really great TV show, because it would open people’s eyes to something important, such as gay marriage and how normal it can be, just like any other family. We have a daughter, we have three dogs, and we have a beautiful home. I’m working, and she’s doing her thing.

I’ll be this short, little, fat, mean pregnant woman. I’m not gonna give a f*ck about paparazzi. I’m gonna have rollers in my hair, wearing my pink pajamas, 500 pounds, throwing pickles at the paparazzi, saying “F*CK YOU!”

I’m having my brother’s [surrogate] baby, and Casey said, “Wow, your brother sounds really hot.” I went, “Shut the hell up! You’re disgusting.” [laughs] That’s when I thought, “Oh, my God! This is really dysfunctional.” That’s when we came up with that idea. I told her that we’ll be walking down Robertson, and I’ll be wearing my pink Teletubbies pajamas. I’ll be this short, little, fat, mean pregnant woman. I’m not gonna give a fuck about paparazzi. I’m gonna have rollers in my hair, wearing my pink pajamas, 500 pounds, throwing pickles at the paparazzi, saying “FUCK YOU!” [laughs] And I told Casey she’s going to have to roll me around in a wheelchair, ‘cause I’m not gonna walk.

Lola: See, when you’re pregnant you can get away with that.

Tila: Exactly. I can get away with being mean, and wearing no makeup, having meltdowns on the street. That’s OK, because I’m pregnant! [laughs]

Lola: Do you think you’ll want to have your own kids with Casey, after you give birth to your brother’s baby?

Tila: I think right now, there’s enough on my plate. [laughs] I think that will be way later down the line, absolutely. But right now, I think getting all this started is exciting enough. We’ll start here, and later on we’ll talk about having more.

Lola: Let’s get sappy – When did you fall in love with Casey? What’s the story there?

Tila: It’s funny, because I used to hate her. Casey and I used to hate each other, because we knew the same people. Within Hollywood circles, it’s like high school gossip. We’d never met each other or seen each other face-to-face, but we always heard about each other and I really hated her. Then I finally met her, through personal stuff we were going through. So, I reached out to her, and we became friends. We just clicked really immediately.tilaCaseyKissing

Lola: Aww…

Tila: And then one night, she came over like a train wreck. I had to tell her, “Casey, calm down. Breathe. It’s not the end of the world.” I fixed her hair a little bit, we started playing dress up… and then, next thing you know, we got engaged.

She is not at all the person the media made her out to be, what her fake friends made her out to be. She’s actually very beautiful, and I’m trying to help her see that about herself. She is truly a beautiful and loving person, as am I. I think God put us together for a reason, at this time in our lives. I really believe in love at first sight.

Lola: Yeah, once you actually saw each other in person! [laughs] That’s so sweet.

Tila: Fate, serendipity, whatever you want to call it. I feel very blessed.

Lola: Sorry to switch to such a dark subject, but what’s happening with your case against Shawne Merriman?

Tila: It still really upsets me. I could have easily given up on it, moved on with my life, and not have to deal with it. It’s really dark and negative, and brings me back to a dark time I do not want to remember. The only reason I’m still continuing to fight for it is because I know what’s right; I know that he knows what went down, and I know that God knows. And I know that doing this will give a lot of women faith again. A lot of women wrote to me, and they were so excited to see me fighting back. When my case got thrown out, a lot of those women disappeared, because they got scared. They thought, “Wow, if nobody took Tila Tequila seriously, then nobody will ever believe me either.” It’s costing me a lot of money. People don’t realize that I’m paying a lot in lawyer fees, and I don’t have to do that. But the reason why I am is because I want my justice, and I want justice for all other women out there. You don’t have to stay quiet. You can be strong, and fight for it, and not be afraid, no matter what. That’s why I’m continuing this battle.

And I have my wife and family to support me now, so I think everything is happening just the way it should. I’m happy.

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Lola: That’s good to hear. What’s the hardest thing in your life? Because it sounds like you’re doing really well now.

Tila: The biggest challenge right now is the way the public views me. I’ve always been very outspoken, very carefree, and I stand by what I say. I stay true to myself. The biggest thing I’m trying to change right now is the way people view me. They only know me from A Shot at Love… which was five years ago, you know? I just want people to see me for who I really am, and not how the media always paints me. I am so not that person. I’m actually really caring, and I’m not a wreck. I know exactly what I’m doing; I’m just a little wild. I’m definitely not a librarian, or a nun

Lola: And you’ve got a mouth on you…

Tila: Yeah! Exactly, but at least I’m honest about it. I stand by that.

Lola: Do you think that the lesbian community has been more accepting of you now?

Tila: Half of them have been pretty supportive. The other half, who don’t know me well, have been really judgmental. Recently, there was this gay blogger – I’m not gonna say who, ‘cause I don’t want to give him any more publicity – who blasted on me, saying, “The LGBT community doesn’t want you, ho! Have a seat!” I think it’s rude, and his hatred toward me reflects his own self-hate. Certain people can’t handle seeing a strong, sexy woman, and so they slam on us. People like him should shut up, and just be grateful that there are more public personalities fighting for gay rights. Instead of talking shit and slamming me, he should be supportive, because I’m out here being an activist and fighting for gay rights. I think what he’s doing is sending out a really bad message to straight people, and he’s hurting himself by doing that, too.

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Lola: Right, within our own community, people try to tear down each other. It’s so counterproductive.

Tila: Yeah, it’s really sad! It doesn’t make sense to me; we should stick together. Hopefully, after people read this interview, it will change their minds about me. But if not, it doesn’t matter. I’m still happy. I’m still going to fight for our right to get married. I’m going to buy my Teletubbies pajamas, and throw pickles at paparazzi!


Follow Tila Tequila on twitter and check out her website, Tila’s Hot Spot.

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109 Comments

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    this def does not change my view on her whatsoever…you don’t pull a tampon out of yourself and masturbate live on youstream and then go spread rumors saying that rihanna has herpes because ur “angry” and think that its okay

    Tila Tequila does every single thing for attention and when she’s not getting the attention she’s seeking she takes extreme measures

    the gay blogger that she is talking about is B.Scott who is an extreme supporter of the lgbt community and he was complete right about everything he said about Tila

    Anyone that gives Tila the time or day even for an interview she’ll take it she is bad buisness, and she makes the lgbt community looklike jokes..i’m so sick of her

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      um how would you know if she is attention seeking? are you there in her life monitoring her actions? No you arent no offense but you cant sit here and really say anything about tila cause none of us are living with her none of us knows what is really going on cept tila herself. i do agree that tila is a little…extreme at times..but i think she has enough going on without people who dont know her personally bringing her down..and you cant say im saying this cause i like her..cause truthfully im iffy about tila..but i know that sometimes you have to just stop and let her do her own thing..which she is gonna do regardless of wat comments ANY of us leave so thank you and goodbye

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        ‘um how would you know if she is attention seeking? are you there in her life monitoring her actions?’

        We don’t have to be there- she broadcasts every idiotic thought she has because she is a narcissistic cretin.

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      And do you really know she did this or are you just hearing about this stuff from the media.I hope you know the media lies and if youre going to belive stuff like that than you have a really childish mind.And if she did then hey. Plenty of people do it. You people are just mad because she’s a celebrity and you think she should be perfect. news flash shes only human.

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        hey, that shit she said about Rhianna was fucking WRONG. that was not okay.

        but I look at it like this; clearly tila’s not a smart cookie. right? we agree on this. you know how when you have a little kid, you gotta show the kid how to act? and what happens to little kids when everyone is yelling at them all the time, calling them names…… they get pretty fucking upset!
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        so when i look at tila i see a kid. she’s not much smarter than a kid, i mean right? i don’t think she understands most of the things that she says.
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        all day every day people talk shit about her. they tell her she’s a skanky hoe, they tell her she’s talentless and ugly, they tell her they literally wish she was dead. they rag on this bitch like crazy. you think she knows which end is up anymore? who to listen to? what she said to Rihanna was OUT OF LINE but if you try to give her the benefit of the doubt, people say shit like that about her all the time and not only are they not punished for it, they’re celebrated for it. people love it when people rip on tila.
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        even in the comments here people have said terrible things about her but it’s just normal.
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        so my advice to tila is be the better woman. rise above. it looks like you’ve got a good heart underneath all that. rise above. Rihanna was a bad fucking target to pick, Tila, but i can’t blame her for thinking bitchiness was the way to go. it’s a self fufilling prophecy people.

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          No, Tila isn’t stupid. How can someone who went from being poor to making her own websites, t-shirts, franchise and then convincing MTV to give her a show TWICE be stupid?… Don’t see it.

          I don’t understand everyone’s anger. People talk shit every day about anyone. This isn’t any different. You think everyone talks shit about Tila so much she’s now insane? Uhm, EVERY CELEBRITY hears that they are a hoe every day. Tila has yet to pull a Britney Spears.

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      Totally agree with you girl. Tila is fake!!! Its so obvious you other idiots, all she does is name drop, bash REAL celebs, take off her clothes, and pretends to be Bi!!!!!

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      It is quiet apparent that Tila is attention seeking but then again who in this world isnt?! I don’t agree with many of the things she does, and i feel that she could handle herself and engagement differently but it is her life, and no one should ever be made to feel that they arent of their worth. Tila like every other person out there has a heart and has emotions and doesnt deserved to be dragged down no matter her choices or what she says. As for the LGBT man that made a comment about her and her coming out as ‘Gay’ i think it’s completely inappropriate for him to say that..even if (which i don’t believe is true) her engagement is fake..or for publicity. As a lesbian woman i am completely insulted that someone from our community could possibly discriminate when discrimination is what we’re fighting..
      Soo i hope that tila and everyone else that is shunned by this community then i apologize for the ignorance of people and want you to know that no matter some views, there are many positive views and you are always welcome as far as i am concerned.
      This world is too concerned with others lives, and not with their own.. there’s a bigger picture and ii wish that people would start to realize that. A persons sexuality only defines a part of there life..theres so omuch more to a person and discrimination is NEVER right. NEVER.

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      maybe u guys should stop being so hatefull about a person whos just trying to fit in the gay/lez community in lala land,people find different reasons to hate on tila ,first thye hate her because shes vietnamese,the because shes having a show on mtv ,then its becasue shes a fake”lesbian” get a grip ,and now people are hateing because she was enganged to casey johnson( dident hear about her before all this) who apparently was some kind of friend to the socalled(wtf is that anyway) real celebs, now caseys dead and people are again starting with the”how come tila dident call casey blablah”

      tila said in the interview” love is about being selfless” maybe tila has to most frerason to be sad ,she finally found love(and who are u people to question that!!) and then this person commits suicide or bottumline shes dead” so til most feel so abbandoned right now

      so stop tha hate and i agree with the positive comments about tila :)

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      Lez-behonest: she’s not talking about B.Scoot, she’s talking about the idiot, “Perez Hilton”.

      And about the tampon and junk. All that is false. Anyways, everyone will believe what they want to believe, but it doesn’t get any of us anywhere with bad mouthing and negativity. That goes for her too. I’ve learned that the hard way =)

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        No Liz: tila was talking about B.Scott at the time because he mde a video about her on youtube saying that she was disgusting etc etc and he talked about her on twitter,

        She also has probs with perez but at the time she was talking about b.scott, they went back and forth..

        I honestly don’t see why it matters though,her fiance just passed…let her mourn-thats all

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        Liz another thing no the media did not lie about tila pulling a tampon out of her vagina and masturbating live on u-stream…

        Ummm I personally was at my laptop and saw it when she did it, and I also have the still images of her doing it,I was gonna post it to my websitew but it was so tacky I never did but if u wanna see then let me know

        The tampon and maturbation thing is complete truth but it backfired on tila and she took the videos down

        She denied it, just like in the video when she announced her and casey were getting married she told everyone that casey was filthy rich and a billionaire now she’s saying caseys broke…the video of her saying casey is filthy rich is on my site…

        Media liesd about a lot of things but tila their not lying about, all the evidence is there,she just denies things when it flips on her…

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    I feel like she overshares? Or maybe it just seems like oversharing because it seems like she says all this stuff that is a little bit so outlandish that there’s no possible way it can be true. I don’t know? I’ve never disliked her, in fact I’ve always had kind of a soft spot for her because she always did come across real. But now it’s hard to distinguish what parts of her are legit and what parts are just role playing. All the same though, good interview Lola!

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    Great interview Lola! I have to comment because I met Tila a few years ago and she’s an extremely sweet girl and she gets hated on so so much. I think what is important to note here is that announcing that you are gay does not mean you have a responsibility to represent the entire population of gay persons.

    She’s out there doing her thing, whether people like her or not. She is certainly not the only person in the world who does and says things to get attention. If she wants to stand on a soap box and preach about gay rights, fine. She has the right… right? It also seems like a step up from where she was at a 5 years ago. Also, if people weren’t still interested in her, no one would be reading this interview… and they clearly are.

    If she’s happy and in love, more power to her.

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      I completely agree. I am sure that all of us have done things, or said things that others may not agree with. Not everyone lives their lives under the microscope of the press. If we did have our lives picked apart and scrutinized I’m sure all of us would have things that the masses would not agree with.
      She’s just living her life the way she wants to live it, and I think that all of us should do the same. As long as what she is doing or saying is not hurting anyone, than why should we really care. This is supposed to be after all the Land of the Free.
      If anyone disagrees with her actions or decisions that is their choice, if you don’t like it than don’t look at it or read it.
      I think she is a very interesting and unique person, with an exotic beauty that is all her own. I also think she should continue to do what makes her happy, and who cares what anyone else says. It’s her life not ours.

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        lol, yes we have all done and said stupid things but the rest of us do not put it on our public video and blog. It wasn’t the eye of public. She did it to herself.

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    Good interview… I’m impressed that you just asked to talk to her, instead of just talking about her (as fun as that is).

    However, I’ve got three words…

    Narcissistic. Personality. Disorder.

    That is all.

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      Yes, she very clearly has narcissistic personality disorder.

      The interview didnt change my mind about Tila though.

      Saying that you dont want to waste time bringing other people down, then proceeding to bring other people down…doesnt make any sense.

      She will say and do anything to stay in the spotlight and remain relevant.

      Eh.

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    Tila does have a big mouth, but I still love her!
    This was a really good interveiw. I’m honestly a little jealous of Tilas relationship with Casey. They seem so happy! I wish I had that. :)

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    This comment has been removed for violating our Comment Policy as stated: “We welcome debate and discussion, and we are interested in hearing your opinion. But we do not allow hate speech or slurs of any kind (ethnic, gendered, based on sexual orientation, etc.) or attacks aimed at our writers or readers.”

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    Brilliant interview, she is a positive force in the LGBTQ community by breaking the image of her bisexual for the pleasure of men. She’s fighting for her rights and the rights of women in general, queers and straight alike. Excited to see what she does in the next 20 years.

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      I wouldnt say she is a positive force for bisexual for the pleasure of men, considering she came out as a lesbian. If anything she increases the stereotype of there is no bisexuals

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        I’m sorry if you experience hate even from LGBT about being Bi. It really breaks my heart when I see situations of a bi person being ridiculed by the LGBT community.

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    I’m Lesbian myself and at first I thought Tila was cool. But after looking at her tweets the last few months I thought something was and still is seriously wrong with her. She spews hatred on others then had the audacity to talk about “haters”. She slandered Rihanna and tried defaming her character. That was the last straw. She’s a horrible role model and totally inappropriate. I have a 16 year old niece who recently unfollowed her on twitter due to her inappropriateness and her hateful rants. She obviously has no talent and seems as if her being miserable triggers how being jealous, dishonest and hateful towards others.

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    This comment has been removed for violating our Comment Policy as stated: “We welcome debate and discussion, and we are interested in hearing your opinion. But we do not allow hate speech or slurs of any kind (ethnic, gendered, based on sexual orientation, etc.) or attacks aimed at our writers or readers.”

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    my question is, what does she do? what talent if any does she posess? i don’t know about her too much other than a few googles here and there and what i come up with is half naked pictures . oh and how in the world she claim to be a “model” and she’s maybe like 4 feet? I read she hated on rihanna, and i’m thinking to myself..”this is Rihanna you’re hating on and you are who again?” Rihanna and Tila?! that’s like an old ragady ass station wagon hating on a 2009 bentley…one is old, ugly, washed up, disgusting and dirt dusty looking while the other is beautiful, has talent for years, eye catching and mesmorizing

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      LOL This is Tila you’re hating on and you’re WHO again? You don’t even have a pic on here.

      Yes, Tila is a model. The booty kind. The one who appears in KING magazine. Being a model and being the most popular person on Myspace (she’s one of the people Tom picked to help make it popular) is how she became relatively famous. Then getting a show on MTV made her famous to people who watch tv and have internet, anyway.

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      Music was her big thing for a while. She said she used all of that publicity to start making music without being signed. I dunno if she still does that though.

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    I don’t like to judge people by what they’ve done, but rather by what they’re doing now. I know Tila seems to have done some crazy things in her past but she really seemed sincere in this interview.It’s amazing how someone is different when you give them a chance to be interviewed in a positive manner.

    I wish people would give her a chance, instead of resorting to calling her the disrespectful term “hoe.” Let’s not put negative energy into the universe.

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    Sheesh, harshing my mellow here. Is it foolish of me to want happiness & love for everyone? Because I honestly want the best for her regardless of the past/future. We’re all human here. I don’t keep up with anything she does, I watched A Shot at Love… and yeah I disagreed with some stuff, but it’s not the end of my world. Great interview, Lola!
    —–
    P.S. Not to be offensive or anything, but lemme get this straight… She’s having her brother’s baby? Hmm?

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    Tila is kind of crazy. It seems like some of the stunts she’s pulled could pass as “performance art” if the performer was classier and more iconic. I’m not sure how I feel about her, but I wish her happiness and I am happy that despite being a male sex symbol, she came out as a lesbian. I have a weakness for lesbian “celebrities” even when they are fucking crazy.

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    i dont really know what to think about tila i think she is real and not trying to be fake but at the same time i think she dont know what she wants she lives in the moment she did spread a rumor about rihanna than she blog about khloe so she says she dont like people talking about her but it makes it okay for her to talk about others that i dont understand and how long do u think tila and her girlfriend well last???and if she has her brothers baby isnt she afraid of being attached to it what if she goes into depression well wish her luck and hope the best for her!!

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    Great interview, Lola! I’ve never been a Tequila fan, but this was really interesting to me, and it does seem way more productive to reach out and talk with her than just add to the internet gossip.

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    Lmao, oh yea, B. Scott told her to have a seat. There was a whole trending topic about it.

    I stand nowhere on Tila Tequila really. Do whatever you want to do. She doesn’t concern me that much. I am still however so pissed a how counterproductive her show was for bisexuals in the public eye. We aren’t seen that much, people already have the wrong ideas, that made it so much worse. I know, it happened a while ago, but it’s still upsetting. *Kanye shrug*

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    Great interview!
    I was going to write something snarky about the slightly prudish picture of her kissing her fiance (now THAT is weird to type)…but you know, I believe her. Or at least believe that she believes these things.

    She seems like she’s just doing her own thing, trying to figure her life and herself out. Which is FINE. It’s what everyone is doing.
    I may not agree with her very exhibitionist nature, but i don’t have to.
    She sounds like a sweet girl and i wish her the best.

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    It was a great interview with Tila but unfortunately it did not make me want to empathize with her. I think there are already many horrible representations of LGBTQ people in the media and with her it only feeds the fire of a negative image. Maybe that is just her public persona she likes to have and is probably a very nice person but I do not think that just because she was on a reality show five or six years ago that she is someone who should be getting all this attention. Whatever happened to giving someone newsworthy of press?

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    This comment was going to be removed for violating our Comment Policy as stated: “We welcome debate and discussion, and we are interested in hearing your opinion. But we do not allow hate speech or slurs of any kind (ethnic, gendered, based on sexual orientation, etc.) or attacks aimed at our writers or readers.”

    But we want you to see this comment! This comment like many we’ve received on this post utilizes language that should never, ever be used against anyone under any circumstances: she has to be one of the ugliest annoying hookers known to man kind. she’s like a walking std. she gave an actor the herpes bug. no wonder no guy would stick their dick inside that disease riddin vagina of hers.

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    everyone here is just ragging on her and saying that she “over” does things, overly expresses herself and etc, but if you take a step back and look at yourselfs, you the ones reading and blogging about her =/ if you’re sick of her, why do you continuously seek her out?

    I don’t feel one way or the other about what shes doing/done because i’ve never met her, so i have no place to judge.

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    Sheesh! You all need to build a bridge and get over yourselves!

    Where is the love in the world ppl? Can people no longer be given second chances? Have we not all done something in our lives that we’re not proud of?

    We need to stop hatin’ on ppl we dont even know (because, really, who here knows her personally?) and stop judging and buying into whatever the media feeds us.

    All we need is love…dah dah dah dah dahhhh *singing*

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    You really need to just shut the f up I’m so tired of you makin up all this bull…oh you go beat up by a foot ball player ok understandable that was not right in any form but it was your drunk asses fault you made it out to sound like you were a perfect angel well maybe if you weren’t such a dumb hooker it wouldn’t have happened…and on another note sadly you make me glad that gay or lesbians can’t get married cuz your an embarrassment your just doing it for publicity and need to stop now if you were meant to be famous you would have already take the hint no one wants you there…by the way I support gay marriage completely I have family that are gay. And I’m cool with that. Just moved to a state where they were allowed to but I don’t think it should be used to get your name in some tabloids grow the f up really.

    But YOU are a freaking nutcase. I am tired of hearing about you love this person, but you really loved this person. Get over yourself and go get admitted into a mental institution. When she dumps you you will be a train wreck all over again. And oh yeah Yeah why don’t ya just go get married in Canada, its legal there. After all you re in LOVE,nothing should separate you..

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      What if no one was looking out for your best interests? What if the universe only contacted you to express hatred, disgust, scorn and criticism? What if googling your name was like opening a personal burn book? Let’s say you’re not exactly a rocket scientist to begin with. How, exactly, would you learn to know the difference between good advice and bad advice, or between someone hating you for who you are or for who they think you are? How would you hear the sense through the fog? Legitimate concerns (“a shot at love” is the most offensive-to-bisexuals show EVER) (that shit you said about rihanna was straight-up wrong, i don’t care what she said about you) might get lost between all the “skanks” and “famewhores” and other assorted hatred tossed your way.
      .
      Because this is ok, right? You’ve never met her, her life has no affect on you whatsoever, but you still feel it’s your personal right to come over here and let her know that “maybe if you weren’t such a dumb hooker” her boyfriend wouldn’t have beat her up? You are saying that violence against women is okay when it’s directed at women you don’t like? Violence against unintelligent prostitutes isn’t okay either, but it sounds like you think it is — and that’s not what Tila is anyhow.
      .
      Why is she held to a higher standard than you are? Anyone who says it’s okay for a man to beat up his girlfriend is a part of the problem, not a part of anyone’s solution.
      .
      How or when was she supposed to learn that people don’t talk to other people that way when that’s how people have always talked about her?
      .
      Rihanna is a victim not of Tila Tequila’s, but of a misogynistic world where degrading and insulting women is so commonplace — so accepted, so EMBRACED on the internet — that a cyberstar like Tila would actually think that saying Rihanna has an STD on the internet was a reasonable way to deal with the hurt Tila felt when Rihanna dissed her. Tila’s entire career is built on her popularity and how people feel about her. Maybe if you threw some positive energy her way, she might throw it right back at you.
      .
      You disgust me.

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    I have no problem with Tila, she has a great body, she is beautiful, and her attitude makes her even hotter! I read everyones comments and I dont see why the ones that dont like her would even waste time if they in fact really dont like her because I know I certainly would not waste my time on someone I didnt like. Noone here has a right to judge because everyone has done things wrong and your not famous so you dont have to worry about being talked about with all your stuff being talked about to the public. Everyone needs to see that she is only human and noone is perfect but you want to see someone that is famous act perfect and because she isnt you dont think she is a good role model. She speaks her mind so why judge someone for that because your to insecure not to? You judge her because she masturbates on camera WHO CARES! She took her tampon out to masturbate which I dont know if its true or not because I dont watch but obviously you all do and if you dont like what you see then dont watch it, its that simple. You get mad because she is judging someone else BUT you can judge her? And how the hell are you saying she brings more negativity to the LGBTQ community? She is happy, engaged, fighting for rights. What is she supposed to change because people dont like how she is? HELL NO! She is fine the way she is! Everyone is different, anyone that is homosexual or bisexual has lived a lie before they actually came out and for many someone has wanted you to change. I bet you didnt like it and people dont you that you would change, that you could change, that is was just you being confused… You didnt like it and you dont want people telling you to change who you are because they dont like it. Everyone is their own person, cant say she gives the LGBTQ a bad image. one women or one man cant give other women or men a bad image because they are just one person and there are millions. I have respect for Tila and one day I hope to meet her!

    IM just a very open minded LESBIAN!

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      Also I love meeting new people that arent so judgemental and have odd views on things that they dont think others have so give me a shout
      myspace.com/moonlight_tears
      laters

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    holy judgmental dykes batman!

    i for one am glad you guys interviewed her because even though she’s made mistakes in her life and sometimes says some crazy shit, she really does seem like she has her life together now and i’m glad she’s found love and happiness. we should all be so lucky.

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    its kind of odd how she thinks she is ready for marriage when she only had a 6 month relationship…she knows that a marriage doesnt base off sex right? and its kind of pathetic that a woman of her age being nearly 30 dresses so sluty and only had a 6 month relationship…im 16 and ive had wayyy longer relationships…obviously she doesnt know love from an orgasm

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      you’re right but that’s not because she’s a bad person. that’s cuz she just ain’t that smart! you are probably smarter than her. she has a simple elementary way of looking at things. part of why she’s let mtv and others exploit her naivite. then she retaliates like a child. it’s sad but it doesn’t make her ‘sluty’

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    Tila is a strong woman, and she knows what she is doing. She finally found the love of her life, If she wants to get married she deserves every right to do so. Tila fights the War against people like you (Haters) -GO TILA ARMY<3 ! I personally see that she is very happy and that´s all I need to know. You should start worrying about ur own business and get a fuckin life. Maybe u wouldnt be hatin so much if u had sum love in ur life urself, and so this is just a result of jelousy ;)

    xoxo <3

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    i can’t believe some of the comments here, i thought Autostraddle readers were more open minded and less judgemental. anyway, i really don’t know much about Tila, but the interview was an interesting read. good job Lola.

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    Doesn’t Tila has a site where old men look at little underage girls naked? Disgusting to say the least. She needs to be sent back to singapore or either in prison. Pedophiles are not role models.

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    First, this was a great interview.

    Second, I think it’s quite understandable why people are so upset by Tila, specifically in the queer community. I’m a lesbian and my friends who are bi talk to me all the time about the terrible representation bi women get in the media and in pop culture. It’s not just unfortunate, it effects their lives negatively in real and awful ways.

    For instance, I can say I’m a lesbian to most people and conjure up an image of wholesomeness with Ellen doting on Portia, but my roommate saying she’s bisexual results in people assuming she dates both men and women AT THE SAME TIME and that she’s a slut. Or that she can’t make up her mind, or that if she’s dating a woman she will always long for a man or vice versa. Even people who aren’t friendly to lesbians will at least believe me that I am one, whereas my roommate has to fight for people to even believe that she knows her own sexuality.

    There is just so much misinformation out there that any celebrity who goes on record saying they are bi is doing a political act. Whether they like it or not.

    It’s the same way with any group in the minority. If Tila was just another straight girl on TV it wouldn’t matter as much how she portrays her sexuality, because it would be one voice out of a million. But when you have so few representations of a certain group, every portrayal matters more. So yeah, she’s human, and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but her intent doesn’t matter to me nearly as much as her effect does, and so far, her effect has been damaging.

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      I totally understand what you’re saying. This doesn’t really excuse anything, but MTV came to her with the idea for the show. Basically they had an idea to exploit bisexuality, and they found a girl naive enough to participate. I feel that the show’s producers should share at least half of the blame, rather than the closest visual target.

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        I absolutely agree that the producers should share in the blame, and that were it not Tila, it would probably be someone else. However, it is Tila, and her fame is a direct result of her representation of a bisexual woman (though she was famous before that on myspace, I don’t think she became a household name until A Shot At Love).

        Her fame affords her money, and opportunity, and other things that non-famous people don’t always have, and in my view, it’s (at least partly) at the expense of a marginalized group of people. Which is not cool.

        I’m weary of chalking all this up to the idea that she’s “just not that smart” because I doubt I’d do the same if she were a guy. In my (admittedly limited) experience, men who make poor decisions are treated as adults who have made mistakes, where women who make poor decisions are treated as children who don’t know any better than to make mistakes.

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    i remember in an interview she said that she wanted to be famous not a celebrity..she wanted to be remembered for her “work” well yeah the guy community does..jerking off to every youtube video and every sluty piece of shit work that she does. doesnt she know that since shes nearly 30 its time to at least wear a tank top instead of flashing your tits around. people arent even into that shit anymore. they care about modesty now instead of seeing how down low you can dress and i think she is just famous now because she played the bi and lesbian card…fako mc slut slut

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    I could never hate Tila Tequila. She brought Dani Campbell into the living rooms of campus housing everywhere, and made me aware of a previously unknown love of women in flame resistant pants.

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        Totally agree with you about the casting director. Also, I don’t even feel bad about liking that season. I never knew what to expect (because Tila was not a household name for me), and the episode where she meets everyone’s families was AWESOME.

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    Im late to the party but I think it was a good call for autostraddle to do this interview! Tila is obvs. gonna do whatever the fuck she wants, and I’m cool with that. (yes, bisexual media representation sucks, but lets blame the executives & producers who are in charge mmk?)

    It’s christmas eve & I’m not drunk yet…brb going to change that.

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    i agree all she is looking for is attention i dont care if your gay bi or try in any relation you dont just start dating someone and all of a sudden start talkin about getting married you date someone for a while before talkin about that yet she had to find something contreversial so people can talk about her. she has no talent if she wants to become a little famous maybe she should do a sex tape it worked for paris, and kim kardashian

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    I liked her at first, but she is just a tab bit annoying. I seen the two minute interview of her on tmz or something about the shawn merriman incident and she seemed so fake. I mean I just shook my head and thought this girl is a train wreck

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    i could have sworn i clicked on the autostraddle bookmark but it’s feeling strangely like youtube in here.

    great interview lola, way to take one for the team.

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    not to be rude or mean, but all I know is she was or is some woman that said hateful things about Rihanna. but other than that, who is she and what exactly does she do? is she an actress? famous pop singer like rihanna or beyonce? movie director?

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    Let’s watch how Tila make up some other bullshit lie about not having the baby. She is to predictable with her lies. First, its gross to carry your “BROTHER’S” sperm in your body. Ewww! Second, we all know how Tila lies about everything, such as once being pregnant with her imaginary baby “Jayden” and being hit in the stomach with a hammer, later coughing up “chunks” of fetus…lol…The other about being pregnant by a super hip hop artist…lie….now she’ll make some shit up such as
    1) she had a big fight with her brother or and his brother wife and decided not to have the baby
    2) the unborn baby died
    3)she has to put it off because of some other bullshit lie…..just get ready to read her lying ass blog about this…typical pathological liar Tila…nothing new

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    Oh, I think Tila’s ok. . . hadda rough life so far, who hasn’t? She’s my friend so I’ll back her up. She has talent and she will come through ahaed . . she’s still very young. . :

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      that’s hilarious b/c I was talking to Alex about the interview (and examples of things she’s said that have indicated that she’s not necessarily careful about making sure she means everything she says and is perhaps slightly detached from reality/thelanguage) and I was like “i actually don’t think she’s pregnant, I think she’s using words incorrectly,” and Alex was like “what?” and I was like, “Yeah, I’m 99% sure she actually means that she is going to be pregnant.” I LOVE BEING RIGHT

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    Personally, i think people exagerate anything she says. If we didn’t care then we wouldn’t be tuning in/blogging/checking out her website. She can be doing many things to keep herself in the puclib spotlight but I think overall she’s just trying to be herself and sometimes you can put your foot in your mouth a few many times.
    People can be mean and pety in real life and sometimes we do things withoutthinking them through but overall i like Tila, I follow her and she’s dead sexy (s far as i’m concerned).
    Overall, I think people just need to give her a ahance and sto being so judgemental about different issues.

    I really hope her engagement and pregnancy are for real and she can finally find the happiness she surely is chasing after.
    Send out best wishes out to the world and stop hating.

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    It’s easy to write off Tila Tequila as a nutjob, or an attention whore, or the like… but I sense a lot of insecurity (chyeah, I’m gettin’ all Psych 101 on you). Honestly, I think she is bisexual, not gay. That’s just the impression I get. I wish she had enough confidence in herself/her sexuality to remain openly bisexual and yet still be publicly in a relationship with a woman. It’s almost like she thinks she can’t be bi and date a girl, which is totally not true. She probably was hoping to earn more acceptance within the LGBTQ community by coming out as a lesbian, but in effect I think she did the opposite. Now, Tila comes across as untrustworthy, turning her back on the bi community.

    I could be completely wrong, though. Maybe she really was going through a major identity crisis and has discovered that she’s actually gay, not bi. However, this announcement from Tila just reiterates negative stereotypes about bisexuals: that being bi is a transient stage, not an actual sexual identity.

    Note: I’m a total ‘mo… I’m not bi, haha. I just really feel for the often misunderstood segments of the LGBTQ population, particuarly bisexuals and transgendered folks.

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      Yeah, I think you’re wrong. Untrustworthy? How does your sexuality show your trustworthiness? “She’s turned on us ‘bi’s by realizing that she’s NOT bi”…

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        I just think she’s acting like sexual orientation is like an outfit you can try on and discard. On her Twitter, she said, “Remember when I was bisexual?” I don’t know, the whole thing strikes me as phony and ridiculous. And like I said, she’s reinforcing negative stereotypes about bisexuals– that bisexuality doesn’t actually isn’t, it’s a transient phase, etc. Why can’t she just date Casey Johnson and not have to make a big to-do about her sexual orientation? To me, it seems as if she doesn’t think she can be bi and in a relationship with a woman. She had to come out as gay before she came out about her relationship.

        Like I said, I could be completely wrong. This is just the impression I get from Tila Tequila. And there’s NOTHING wrong with figuring out your sexuality– that’s a wonderful thing. I know a lot of people originally identify as bi before figuring out they’re actually gay. So maybe that’s the case for her. None of us will ever know. This is just my opinion.

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    so all these haters come on and hate on tila. bitches, ur hatin is makin her famous. u say u hate her, cant stand her, etc.blah blah blah but u know every damn thing about her,what she had said, what she has done, etc. so that means ur ass envys her and sorry but she is obiviously the center of ur damn universe and u care too damn much to put in a hate note

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    I think Tila is a sexy girl! Many do as much! She deserves to be allowed to say her piece. Some advocates out in the gay community seem to punish her for having a certain kind of profile. I want to hear her story. I followed her shows and I am a fan. I want to be allowed to hear her say what she wants. I thought this was a democracy…

  44. Pingback: A Tale of Two Trainwrecks: The Definitive Timeline of Casey and Tila’s Romance

  45. Pingback: A Tale Of Two Trainwrecks: Timeline Of Casey And Tila’s Romance | Defamer Australia

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    I remember watching the last episode of that show at my best friend’s house when I was like 16-17. There was a guy left and this girl with short hair. I think at first I wanted them both to be guys because I found the girl really, really cute, but I couldn’t just admit to myself then that I found a girl cute. Need-less-to-say, I was so upset when she chose the guy. You know like: who would ever pick a guy over a girl?

    My friend commented (without knowing any of my thoughts): I think you’re like Tila. I don’t know how I responded.

    Denial. So fuckin’ glad I no longer have to deal with that shit.

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