Welcome to Carolstraddle!

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Last year, my #2 Mom Erin wrote an article every day for 30 days about the movie “Carol,” which was named after me. When my #1 Mom Riese told my #3 Mom Sarah (I have lots of Moms, that’s lesbians for you!) that we needed a graphic for “30 Days of Carol,” Sarah though of course of the only Carol to have ever lived, and produced this graphic:

“Sarah that is a very adorable graphic!” Heather told Sarah, “but the carol posts are about carol the movie.”

“LOL. wow. y’all hahahahah,” said Sarah in return.

Everybody else moved on with their lives and days, as they so often do while I am stuck wondering things like, why is nobody scratching my belly right now? Why does Veggie Grill not deliver enough french fries for Erin and Stephanie for them to share them with me, Carol? Is it time to go outside now? How about now? Is my Mom going to look at me? If I stand on this table, will she look at me now? I love my blanket? Can we go outside? Name one dog who is prettier than me? Or even a cat?

But of course my number one question this whole time has been: “why not Every Day Some Carol????” I, Carol, am here every day!!!!!!! I show up. The couch upon which Erin wrote 30 Days of Carol — I also sit upon that couch, with my legs in any number of positions you would find inspirational and a model for how all dogs should look and sit. I was brought into Riese and Erin’s home less than a month before 30 Days of Carol. Coincidence? I think not!!!

So all the time that my Moms thought I was sitting around not contributing to the household (as my Mom frequently reminds me that I do not “have a job” and that “learning to take care of myself would be really empowering to me as a woman”) I have in fact been scheming for the day when I would take over Autostraddle. That day has come. That time is now. I’m so cute! Watch me roll around on my back and scoot my butt around. I run like the wind, the power of the stars and heavens behind me, my soul is eternal, my power is so big, like a chicken. I love chicken!

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Carol

CAROL IS A PERFECT DOG WHO ENJOYS SHAKING, CURLING UP INTO A CIRCLE, CHICKEN NUGGETS FROM WENDY'S, CUDDLING WITH PEOPLE WHO COME OVER, BITING SNEAKERS WHEN THEY ARE RUNNING ON FEET, AND DASHING MADLY THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE

Carol has written 6 articles for us.

91 Comments

  5. (To honor Carol one more time…)

    Oh, you better not bark, you better not whine,
    For today you’ll be feeling fine,
    Carol has taken over Autostraddle today

    She knows when you are sleeping,
    She knows when you’re awake,
    You better take her out for a walk,
    Or she’ll cry for goodness’ sake

    Oh, you better not bark, you better not whine,
    For today you’ll be feeling fine,
    Carol has taken over Autostraddle today

    Reply to This Comment

  18. hi carol! i am a longtime lurker but this is the post that finally inspired me to comment! i just wanted to say i’m really excited to finally see some more canid representation around here. here are some things i’d like to see from the site going forward:

    *posts that inspire my human, queer girl, to put down her phone to scratch my belly with both hands

    *more lesbian dog posts from sally

    *more species inclusivity in Find Your Fit

    ok that’s it for now! I love you all but I have to go outside via the dog door and then whine to be let back in as though i’ve forgotten the dog door exists, that’s a new habit i’ve been cultivating over the past few months!

    Reply to This Comment

  21. also i just wanted to add that as a dog with larger ears, the new carolstraddle logo really makes me feel seen. or maybe i should say heard! that’s an ear joke. by the way the only person allowed to touch my ears is my human. she folds them over and says “now you’re a dachshund!” and laughs at me. but joke’s on her because I will always be regal and tall.

    Reply to This Comment

  26. Hi Carol! As a longtime fan I’d like you to know that this has made my day. And also caused me to snort-laugh in a way that I haven’t done in quite some time.

    May I suggest you consider penning a short weekly column where perhaps you could share a few words of wisdom or simply model your latest outfit.

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