In Which We Review Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ Track-By-Track

Lady Gaga dropped Born This Way this week and it was a really big deal, the release was so hot that had a fire sale and sold it for 0.99 cents. If you missed out then don’t fear, you can still download it for the very reasonable price of $5.99, or $6.99 with the booklet.

You called for us to review Born This Way, so we asked Autostraddle team members with diverse music tastes (and varying levels of interest in Lady Gaga) to review one track each! Let’s see what our little snowflakes think of this album.

Marry The Night – reviewed by Brittani, Writer

Lady Gaga is gonna marry the night which is probably a more likely scenario than you marrying that lady you love. She does that thing where she repeats the first part of a word a few times and then says the whole word so that’s hot. “Marry the Night” is the perfect song for my seated dance parties. It’s a techno pop love letter to New York about embracing who you are even when things aren’t going exactly as planned. Lady Gaga wants you to go to that place you love and do that thing you do. Own the dark that comes with the light. Just be sure to bring the whiskey.
Born This Way – reviewed by YOU

“Born This Way” has already been reviewed extensively by the Autostraddle community. When this song dropped in February everyone had a LOT of feelings about issues like racial insensitivity and plagiarism and so we created an open thread. Then, just when we thought we’d heard every single feeling that could possibly be felt in response to this song, Lady Gaga made a bizarre music video and it clearly called for another open thread.

Government Hooker & Scheiße – reviewed by Carlytron, Contributor

I decided to review both “Government Hooker” and “Scheiße” (review below) because I found them to be somewhat similar, in that they are easily the most “WTF?!” moments on the entire album. And that’s what makes them THE BEST. Both songs were previewed during the Mugler Paris fashion show in March (along with Born This Way). They also have the best titles — unicorns aside — because “scheiße” (“scheisse”) is German for “shit.” DOES TAYLOR SWIFT HAVE A SONG CALLED SHIT? NO! (though in my mind, all of her songs are “scheiße,” amirite?) And am I the only one who learned what “scheisse” meant from the South Park movie? No. Hokay, moving along.

Aaaaaanyway, Government Hooker seems to be about corrupt politicians and willing pop stars or something, whatever, it has the most memorable hook ever: HOOOO-OOOOO-KAAAAHHHH! Brilliant. Impossible to NOT get that stuck in your head. It opens with this operatic silliness and oozes into a thumping, glitchy electronic ode to Marilyn Monroe and other politicans’ mistresses (“put your hands on my John F. Kennedy” is a legendary line). The creepy dude voice in this track is VERY Ace of Base, is it not? Producer DJ White Shadow spoke to MTV News about the track and called it his favorite track on the album.

Scheiße was immediately one of my favorite songs. It sounds like old KMFDM/MDFMK or Lords of Acid (the first person to remix this song with the old Mortal Kombat theme song gets a cookie!). “I don’t speak German but I can if you like” makes me so happy every time I hear it, and her fake German-French-whatever is brilliant. This is my dog Arthur’s favorite song because the way she says Scheiße in the chorus sounds sorta like “schnauzer.” But yeah this is some sort of female empowerment anthem… maybe not the best one ever but it’s a really catchy song. In my brain, I’ve decided that the narrator of this song is the same girl from the Bad Romance video (though we all know those were Russians, not German) but I feel like there’s some sort of loose common thread there. Basically, Lady Gaga is Sonya Blade, I think that’s all that we need to know (her ponytail in the SNL Digital Short “Threeway” is very much on-point).

Overall, I have to say that I was prepared to hate this album. Gaga has been everywhere lately, with bizarro marketing partnerships and endless public appearances, and I haven’t loved the singles off BTW very much. But she really buried the lede on this one… the strongest tracks on here are not the singles (I still cannot stand “Born This Way” or “Hair”) and I’m glad I gave it a chance to impress me. HAHA JK THERE WAS NO WAY I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN THIS ALBUM, DUH. Srsly though there is SO MUCH GOING ON on this album I can’t even begin to deal with it all.

Judas – reviewed by YOU

This is another track that’s already been discussed extensively. When Gaga released the “Judas” music video, popular reactions included “huh”, “I can’t even”, and “I gave up and watched ‘Like A Prayer’ instead”. Naturally we created another open thread. Then everyone hassled Alex via formspring until she recapped the music video.
Americano – reviewed by Alex, Design Director

At first I think “Americano” is funny and intense and cray-cray in a fun/experimental way. And then I’m like “no habla inglés” so found myself googling the lyrics. Then I realize: this song is serious. Seriously awesome. Gaga says ‘Americano’ is “a big mariachi techno-house record, where I am singing about immigration law and gay marriage and all sorts of things that have to do with disenfranchised communities in America.” Yep, that about sums it up.

I love how Americano’s sound matches it’s meaning/subject/context. Without looking up the lyrics I got blissfully lost in the sound. But now it means so much more — my favorite lyrics being the opening:

“I met a girl in east L.A.
In floral shorts as sweet as May
She sang in eights in two Barrio chords
We fell in love
But not in court”
(get it?! PROP 8 etc duh)

As well as: “Mi corazón me duele por mi generación” — my heart aches for my generation. Brava Gaga.
Hair – reviewed by Jess R., Senior Entertainment Editor

“Hair” was actually the first album track I heard after “Born This Way” and “Judas” and the first that I truly connected to after feeling somewhat lukewarm about the first two singles. I love the fact that there is a solid narrative to the lyrics especially when compared to the poor way similar themes (acceptance, repression, freedom and creativity) were handled on the terribly literal “Born This Way.” The track (produced by RedOne) has an expansive and euphoric 80s/early 90s vibe that takes me back to my childhood and will likely be a centerpiece of her live show – a hardcore/dance sister to “Edge of Glory.” Loves it.

Bloody Mary – reviewed by Laneia, Executive Editor

The beginning of Bloody Mary is the soundtrack to a theatrical spider sneaking up on a small child. Then a beat ‘drops’ and it feels similar to the first time I saw Thriller on VH1 the summer that my babysitter’s oldest daughter started being my babysitter instead. I watched a lot of VH1 that summer.

Love is just a history that they may prove
And when you’re gone I’ll tell them my religion’s you

That seems dramatic and important. Now we’re talking about dancing in the way Jesus said it should be done: with your hands above your head. I feel like this song is too slow to dance to, yet the tone is too dull to sing along with. I don’t know what to do with this song. Really your only option is to march, I think. This will give you more time to analyze the lyrics.

I won’t cry for you
I won’t crucify the things you doooo
I won’t cry for you, see
When you’re gone I’ll still be Bloody Maaaary

It seems like she’s saying she’ll still get her period even after she’s been left behind by this person. And she won’t cry for the person who left because she’ll still have to worry about changing tampons or emptying her diva cup, so she won’t have time for crying. She’s being really practical here.

This song is about menstruation, practicality and trying not to die alone in France.
Bad Kids – reviewed by Stef, Contributor

For a song that starts out with Gaga’s basic interpretation of Suzi Quattro’s intro to “Wild One,” “Bad Kids” quickly evolves into aggressive distorted guitars and shimmering synthesizers.  Taking aim at not only her own detractors but at the detractors of any of her “little monsters,” Gaga (somewhat patronizingly) reassures the listener that hey kid, I’m OK, you’re OK, don’t be insecure if your heart is pure, it gets better, bullies don’t matter, just do you, your hair looks nice.

Like so many songs on Born This Way, “Bad Kids” is a weird manic amalgamation of genres, jumping maniacally from quasi-80s-hair-metal to electro disco to piano pop within the blink of an eye. It’s a catchy song, if a bit sugary for my taste. I find I appreciate this song more if I imagine Gaga singing directly to John Bender from The Breakfast Club. I have included this graphic to illustrate my point:

Highway Unicorn (Road to Love) – reviewed by Riese, Editor In Chief

I picked “Highway Unicorn” because I like the idea of a unicorn on a highway. Highway Unicorn is a song that might play in a commercial where people are zooming through a tunnel with lots of lights dancing in stripes over the shiny car. If this song is a video, I hope it will be Ellen Page and/or Neo riding a unicorn through a Lucy-in-the-Sky-With-Diamonds type situation.

Obviously this song is mostly gay propaganda:

She’s just an American riding a dream
And she’s got rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds
They don’t care if your papers or your love is the law
She’s a free soul burning roads with the flag in her bra.

The spirit of the song is that we should all run like birds and ride the pony and also be strong. This is a ‘positive’ message for children who want to “run, run” with the fury of the saint in their eyes, which is  reference to the glowy-eyed vampires in Twilight. Little glowball eyes!

The mood of the song is “dance dance in the future” “dance dance again.”

My favorite line is “get your hot rods ready to rumble ’cause we’re gonna drink until we die,” because it describes my life thus far.

I kept turning this song on to review it and then somehow I end up in the kitchen or on g-chat or writing a post and then the song ends and I’m like “where’s my song” and then “fuck I was supposed to be listening to that song.”

I’m no musician but I’ve heard a lot of songs in my life, and this one didn’t seem particularly innovative or memorable in any way.

But my Halloween costume for next year will be “free soul burning roads with the flag in her bra” and I think we should sell rainbow syrup on Autostraddle.
Heavy Metal Lover – reviewed by Crystal, Senior Music Editor

I wanted to review this track because it had a promising title. I love heavy metal but I don’t usually love Lady Gaga, and so I figured if there was going to be one track from Born This Way that could potentially be my jam, this would probably be it. Well. The title “Heavy Metal Lover” is somewhat deceptive, as this track is packed with thick club beats and over-produced vocals that belong in a disco and not a death metal club. Did Bon Scott ever use Auto-tune? I don’t think he did. I can’t help feeling like some dirty guitar riffs and growls would have been far more suited to the lyrical content, but then this is Lady Gaga and not AC/DC.

There are things that I genuinely love about this track. For one, it’s got grit. The theme is trashbag sleaze, I feel like Gaga’s basically taken Ke$ha’s shtick and schooled her on how it’s done. Lyrically this song is smut and rebellion, it’s about people gathering to wear leather and have sex and drink Jamesons and cause mayhem. Some reviewers have called this filth pop ‘cheesy’ but I call it ‘relevant to my interests’. I’ve long forgotten this track’s beat, but I’m going to probably going to remember the phrase “I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south” forever. Goddamn.
Electric Chapel – reviewed by Robin, Photographer

When I hear this song, I picture the shiny Lady Gaga motorcycle mutant rolling through the night, wind in its hair, and it makes me feel pretty awesome. It feels very much like what I was expecting from this album, some 80’s hair metal guitar riffs and classic Gaga belt. I love the mix of genres in this song and Gaga’s endlessly changing take on pop music.

There is definitely some Poe happening in this song, but most of all I hear Kylie Minogue. Listen to the chorus of “Cupid Boy” (or “Closer “) and then “Electric Chapel”. It has striking similarities, but in the best way.

As for lyrics, I don’t expect poetry from Gaga. Maybe in a few of her ballads, but this is not exactly a song for lyrical analysis. Holy fool, pray for your sins, caskets will fall, meet me in the electric chapel… sounds a little bit like a morbid lesson from CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine), but falls right in line with Gaga’s newfound religious awakening. I hope the video features some sexy nuns. We get it girl, you are a believer. As far as this album goes, I am too!  Praise Gag!

Yoü And I – reviewed by Sarah, Contributing Editor

“Yoü and I” was the first song Lady Gaga let us hear from her new album, and it is as close to a ballad she has ever gotten. Actually, it sounds like a musical love letter that belongs in the final act of a romantic comedy, not something that Lady Gaga wrote and put on her third album. But I still love it. It’s nice to see Gaga, whose real self is usually so detached from her persona, open up a bit. The lyrics sounds like the most personal Gaga has ever written, especially when she says that cute thing about “six whole years.” I just wish the person she was talking to wore high heels and lipstick themselves, instead of just getting it on his face. Anyway, the point is, I will be singing “Yoü and I” at a karaoke bar as soon as possible. Preferably one with cheap beer and peanuts on the floor.
The Edge Of Glory – reviewed by Katrina, Writer

I’m not sure where “The Edge of Glory” is located or what exactly it means, but I’m pretty sure that Lady Gaga knows where it is, and she rode a unicorn all the way there and back just to create this song. Featuring a huge chorus, sweeping hooks, and a mother*cking extended saxophone solo by Clarence Clemons of the E Street Band, “Edge of Glory” deserves to steal away the title ‘anthem’ from the album’s first single, “Born this Way.”

Does it sound a little bit like Cher’s “Song for the Lonely” and Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” fingerbanged and had a baby? Yes. But think about what that baby would sound like. The lyrics are easy to shout, the beat builds into sweeping hooks, and this is the kind of sh*t that makes you want to fist pump like the rapture is tomorrow. Is this the real anthem of the album? Put it on and imagine yourself at last call at Babylon from Queer as Folk. You’ve had a little too much to drink, you’re surrounded by drag queens, you might not be wearing a shirt, but damn grrrl, you’re on the Edge of Glory. That’s an anthem.

Black Jesus + Amen Fashion (Bonus Track) – reviewed by Katrina, Writer

Black Jesus is kind of a celebrity these days. Referenced by such artists as 2pac, Ghostface Killah, and of course, Madonna in her “Like a Prayer” video, Black Jesus has come to be a symbol of struggle against oppression and the division of races. But I’m going to be completely honest here, I have no idea what the f*ck Lady Gaga is talking about in this song. In accordance with what appears to be an “Express Yourself”/”Like a Prayer” motif in “Born This Way,” “Black Jesus † Amen Fashion” (I’m still trying to figure out how to pronounce the cross) combines 80s pop sounds with slightly updated electronic keyboard synths to add an eerie undertone. Lyrically, the song is a weird and seemingly arbitrary combination of Lady Gaga’s favorite topics: New York City, Jesus, and fashion. It’s not a bad-sounding song, it’s just not particularly interesting, which is fine, because there’s a reason that bonus tracks aren’t on the album. There isn’t anything to be found in “Black Jesus † Amen Fashion” that isn’t already in the new album, except, of course, for the final part of the bridge, in which Gaga proclaims, “Black Jesus/Black Jesus/Black Jesus/JESUS IS THE NEW BLACK.” Whatever that means.
The Queen (Bonus Track) – reviewed by Crystal, Senior Music Editor

A quick pop song is a good pop song. Unfortunately this pop song runs for 5 minutes and 17 seconds, which is 1.73 minutes longer than my attention spa n. I never quite made it to the end of the track, but from what I can gather this song is about Lady Gaga wanting to be Queen, it’s very ambitious. The only part of it that I enjoyed is the unexpected gear change halfway through, courtesy of a guitar solo.
Fashion Of His Love (Bonus Track) – reviewed by Crystal, Senior Music Editor

When I heard that this song was a tribute to Alexander McQueen I was slightly concerned because tribute songs absolutely must be good. And this is! I think “Fashion Of His Love” is sweet and overall quite well done. It’s a rad 80s jam that sorta sounds like Whitney Houston’s “I Just Wanna Dance With Somebody”. Out of the songs I’ve reviewed this is definitely in the top 3.

Now it’s your turn! Tell us your track-by-track feelings in the comments!

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  1. Government Hooker, Scheiße, and Americano are easily my favorite on an album that is beautifully erratic. Is it not what she promised? It’s all of her favorite things meshed into one album. It’s all over the place, doesn’t have that “flow” that all these critics talk about, but there are bright spots and those bright spots outshine all the rest in pop music.

  2. Still don’t know if I like the new album or not…It sounds a lot like Madonna in her heyday, and honestly I’d rather listen to her than Gaga. I do adore Scheiße (and the DJ White Shadow remix!), this album was a personal let down after The Fame Monster.

    TL/DR: Rather listen to Madonna. Or, actually, J Dilla.

  3. I love some of the songs such as Scheiße, Judas, Born This Way, You and I, and Hair. Overall the album doesn’t live to the hype and “Album of the Decade” as she said. I’m a huge Gaga fan but, I prefer her other albums “The Fame” and “The Fame Monster”. I’d give this album a 7/10 she will need a better comeback with her 4th album.

  4. As much as I was initially disappointed with the album and said I would never listen to it again, after not doing what i said and listening to again and again you begin to notice things and it totally changes your opinion of your album and in the end you end up loving the album. I give it a 9/10 4.5 stars, and two thumbs up for being the first album to totally change my mind upon second listen and collectively the songs go well together especially on the special edition the order she put these songs made it tell a story

  5. Although I’m a confessed good kid and can’t relate to Bad Kids at all, I adore the way the words sound and I shout it out alone in my car all the time.

    The whole “dum dum, da-de-da, dum dum da-de-da” thing in Bloody Mary is also infinitely singable.

  6. Love Gaga 4ever, but I’m kind of iffy on this album. I actually found some unreleased tracks on Youtube and I’ve been liking a couple of those more than anything on Born This Way. (I’m referring to “Greatest” and “Earthquake,” although there are other unreleased tracks)

    Some good club anthems here, though! They played a few of the tracks at Long Beach Pride and everybody had a good time.

  7. Crystal! Heavy Metal Lover is srsly my jam right now. There is something so major about that song, I can’t stop listening to it.

    Favorite tracks: Electric Chapel, Heavy Metal Lover, Govt Hooker, Scheiße, Bloody Mary, Edge of Glory. And Marry the Night, Judas, and You and I are cool too. I like what Americano is saying but I’m not super into listening to it at the moment.

    And I’m not really into the bonus tracks. Meh.

    • I tried separating my favorite tracks, but it ended up turning into a tracklisting.

    • I think if Heavy Metal Lover had been called something else, e.g. Club Lover or Disco Lover, then I would have dug it a lot more. I just couldn’t separate the track name from the beats.

      I couldn’t even pretend to get into the bonus tracks.

      • Why would she call ‘heavy metal lover’ ‘club lover’ or ‘disco lover’?? That doesn’t even make sense. I believe it’s about more than her love of heavy metal music; it’s about people who mix metal (piercings, body modifications etc.) and sex. Is the metaphor of ‘heavy metal lover’ really that hard to see?

    • I haven’t been able to listen to the rest of the album in a few days, because Heavy Metal Lover has been on repeat. The second half of that song is amazing.

  8. “Does it sound a little bit like Cher’s “Song for the Lonely” and Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” fingerbanged and had a baby?”

    This commentary is better than the entire album combined.

    Thank you, Autostraddle. Thank you.

  9. The album is unique and inspiring! Lady Gaga, you did your fans good once again. My favorite from this album and Lady Gaga so far though has to be “The Edge Of Glory”. That is one AMAZING SONG!

  10. I’m really enjoying the album. It makes me bounce in my seat as I drive to work (got it at the store – the old fashioned way). And, it’s growing on me. Bloody Mary is incredible. Also love Scheiße and Bad Kids in addition to the singles. You’re amazing, Gaga.

  11. I love this album and it’s all around 80’s feel.

    “You and I” is my current favorite mostly because it gives me this weird sense of pride because she’s singing about Nebraska and I belt it out and sing with her while thinking “fuck yeah, there is something about this place, I love Nebraska too!” then I realize she is actually singing about a guy.

    I also love “The Edge of Glory” because it reminds me of a theme song from an 80s sitcom with the saxophone and everything.

    I also love “Scheiße” and “Hair” and “Fashion of His Love” and “Bad Kids” Ah, I just love the whole album! It shall be the soundtrack of my summer :)

  12. I didn’t expect to like this album as much as I did, but I can’t seem to stop listening to Heavy Metal Lover, Scheisse, You and I, and Marry the Night in one fantastic playlist.

    I also clicked the first amazon link for the $5.99 album and foolishly bought it before I realized that it was all remixes of the title track, and not actually the whole album.

  13. Clearly you missed the whole point of Bloody Mary.
    It’s a beautiful song about the time in History when Mary Tudor (known to History as “Bloody Mary”) persecuted Protestanst (or Catholics.)

  14. & talks about how persecutions of society (like persecuting Jews, Blacks, Gays, etc.) only spells disaster for a society.

  15. I respect her. She took a really big chance with this album. It’s either gonna create a cultrual appetite for a new/retro genre or it will flop; either way i like it; makes me wanna put on a cut off tee, spandex-less jeans, and 80s hoop earrings and just dance! Definitely would give the songs another listen.

    “Does it sound a little bit like Cher’s “Song for the Lonely” and Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” fingerbanged and had a baby?” REALLY Auto? Really?? ^^^ THIS is what I love you guys for ^_^

  16. this record is definitely a grower, but it’s the most manic, multiple-personalitied record i’ve ever heard. girlfriend is working her ASS OFF to make something stick, but when it sticks, it sticks for good. that said, the couch at st jerome is probably really disgusting. i felt weird about “you and i,” because it’s straight up 100% about this guy she very publicly just broke up with… again.

  17. i liked bloody mary, especially when she says “michaelangelo”. gaga’s voice! THE BEST!

  18. I’ve been listening to this album pretty much non stop since it was released. My favorites are Scheiße, Bloody Mary, Government Hooker, Electric Chapel, and Heavy Metal Lover. I feel like I should be dancing in a gay night club with big, greasy, muscle guys when I listen to Scheiße…

  19. The whole album is F’ing rad. The title track is literal, just like the gays. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re not subtle. I dig it– but then, centuries of repression will do that. Shout out to Americano for taking on a topic that is not too popular in pop– i.e. immigrant rights. I dig the melding of the gays and the mexicans. Also, her reference to the overturning of Prop 8 (marry on the west coast, in summer, in august, on a wed). I was in LA when it was overturned and for that moment to me immortalized in a song… awesome.

  20. I vote that “just do you” from Bad Kids, should most definitely be changed to “you do you” that is all.

  21. Okay, I completely agree with most of the reviews here. The two songs I haven’t found that interesting are Bad Kids and Highway Unicorn (Road To Love).

    Alex, I absolutely loved your review about Americano. I’m Spanish, so I understood the lyrics the first time I heard the song, and… well, I fell in love. And I think most of the bashing the song is taking in reviews is because people can’t understand the lyrics.

    Laneia, I found your review about Bloody Mary kinda disturbing. You are a woman, so I don’t really understand why the f**k you had to talk about menstruation in that way. I found it ridiculous, disrespectful to women and unprofessional. You tried to use irony, but it really doesn’t work. At all. It only leaves you open-mouthed and slightly disgusted. I’m sorry, but you could have found other ways to get your point across without writing nonsense. It just doesn’t make any sense! Why? Just because she sings “bloody Mary”? And no, I’m not a prude and I can talk about menstruation without blushing. But I find that using menstruation to bash a song isn’t correct… unless said song is really about menstruation, of course. That’s not the case here.

    Katrina, oh my God! I felt the same way about The Edge Of Glory! :-D I imagined myself pumping my fist in the air, singing along with the chorus, surrounded by multi-colored lights, half-naked people and glitter. I automatically thought about Babylon, dancing along with Emmett (and enjoying the view of his “pray Jesus” dance), seeing Brian f**king Justin in the backroom, both of them in the edge of glory, and… Okay, okay, I’ll stop now. lol

    Overall, I loved the reviews (except the Bloody Mary one). Great job!

    • By the way, Laneia, I don’t say this with a desire to offend you or anything like that, and if I was too harsh in my comment I apologise in advance. I find it really difficult to express myself properly, since English isn’t my first language, and sometimes I get kinda carried away… u_u
      I don’t have issues with the rest of your review, just with the menstruation part, because I think it doesn’t make any sense. That part is like a big WTF.

      • hi albiku! there’s just so much to address in your takedown that i don’t really know where to start! i’ll try to go in order:

        + i didn’t talk about menstruation in any ‘way’ — i just talked about it. no big deal. i chose to review the song ‘bloody mary’ because i run a period tumblr ( because i’m obsessed with menstrual art and menstruation as it appears in pop culture / culture in general, so i was genuinely hoping the song would allude to the shedding of ones uterine lining at some point.

        + talking about changing tampons or emptying diva cups isn’t disrespectful or unprofessional.

        + i was never attempting irony. irony is really hard to pull off, so i usually just go with dry wit or sarcasm, the effects of which aren’t nearly as impressive as those of irony, but i like to stick with what i know.

        + i wasn’t using menstruation to bash the song. i didn’t bash the song at all, actually. i did say that it wasn’t danceable or singable, but those opinions were given in an entirely different paragraph and had nothing to do with my feelings about menstruation one way or another.

        anyway i hope you’re having a great day and that you enjoy listening to whatever music you decide to listen to, regardless of what anyone anywhere ever says or thinks about it!

        • Interesting Tumblr. lol

          Well, I guess I lacked that little backround information about you, so I didn’t get it. For that I apologize. It seemed like a really weird thing to say and it sounded quite disrespectful regardless of one’s thoughts about the song, but of course, when you get the context it’s different. So I’m really sorry for overreacting.

          lol Really, don’t mind me, I’m just so hot-headed some times… You don’t know the kind of trouble I get into because of that little trait of my personality. u_u Mea culpa. ;-)

  22. “You and I” was recorded by my girlfriend’s dad!!!!!!! He’s even in the liner notes :)

  23. Okay but, Laneia likes to talk about menstruating. I mean.. it’s a thing. We love that about her. *shrug*

    It has taken a couple listens for me to really love this album It was definitely not instant love that way The Fame Monster was. But that’s okay. At this point, my only wish for it would be to trade all of the bonus tracks (and also Hair) for just one Speechless type ballad.

  24. I would have to say my favorite parts of the album* were when gaga talks about schnauzers and tampons and rainbow syrup which I can only imagine has something to do with being too gay to bleed real blood which i myself suffer from so thanks for the visibility, gaga.

    i just love team autostraddle so much you guys have no idea.

    *in the interest of transparency, i would just like to mention here that i have not listened to a single song on this lady gaga album.

  25. “I feel like this song is too slow to dance to, yet the tone is too dull to sing along with. I don’t know what to do with this song. Really your only option is to march, I think. This will give you more time to analyze the lyrics.”

    YES! All I want to do to Bloody Mary is goose-step, à la the Alejandro video/North Korea.

      • ok I want you to know I just took off my tight jeans to try this out, and I think Teeth is maybe too fast to do the whole goose-step, but a sturdy strut with a lot of shoulder is definitely appropriate

        • (yeah, i just march, not goosestep. but teeth is one of the marchingest songs i’ve ever heard.)

          • too late, the plaster-like jeans are on. but yeah with Teeth you have to have some kind of floor percussion, i think whatever you can manage is good.

  26. ok, did any one else hear the end of “yoü and i” and think of “what’s up” by 4 non blondes? and then start the song over to confirm that you can, in fact, sing the verses of that song over the verses of “yoü and i”? no, just me?

    also, do you know who plays the aforementioned guitar solo in “the queen” (as well as lead guitar in “yoü and i”)? that’s right, it’s BRIAN MOTHERFUCKING MAY FROM QUEEN. i am kind of overexcited by how the stompy anthemic parts and the unabashedly campy yet catchy parts of both artists complement each other. (full disclosure: in addition to having a crush on gaga now, i did have a crush on queen-era brian may in early high school, when i was going through an oblivious phase of being attracted to slim androgynous guys with long hair.)


      I’m glad we reacted similarly.

      • me too! he deserves all the appreciation. did you know that he hand-made the guitar he’s played for his whole career out of scrap wood and metal when he was 16, with some help from his electrician father? and that he has a ph.d. in astronomy?!

  27. A friend and I drove around for four hours after the album was released.. in the middle of the night.. just blasting every song in my car.

    (We may or may not have dropped acid beforehand)

    And it was epic. This album… it does things to me. <3

  28. also does anyone go into Alexandra Burke’s “All Night Long” when singing Scheiße, just before the end of the chorus? I always hear “I wish I could be strong without somebody there/As long as I see the stroooobe lights, you got me all night looooong”

  29. i have A LOT of *feelings* pulsing through my being about this review. AH-MAZING!!!

    a few thoughts/feelings/2 cents…

    @Crystal: “‘I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south’ forever. Goddamn.” f*ck yeah!!

    @Carlytron: “operatic silliness and oozes into a thumping, glitchy electronic ode to Marilyn Monroe” again, f*ck yeah!

    @Katrina: “Does it sound a little bit like Cher’s “Song for the Lonely” and Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” fingerbanged and had a baby? Yes.” i have this image of Cher fingerbanging Kelley Clarkson and its a very nice image. very. nice.

  30. I found the first half of the album to be great for the most part and then the second half I get bored. She seems to use the same formula for most of her songs. BUT I do love Scheisse, Bloody Mary, Government Hooker and Americano

  31. ‘kay, I can’t stop listening to Highway Unicorn. It’s a little ridiculoussssssss…

    Buying this album this weekend, definitely! Woot!

  32. These are the WORST reviews I’ve ever read; absolutely NO intellectual comments on the new music.

  33. It takes me a while to warm up to her songs. The more I listen and analyze the meaning, the more I like them. She is definitely a lot more political and opinionated in this album, which I’m diggin’.

  34. I feel like Gaga would probs. like Laneia’s menstruation take on her song. Didn’t she once perform covered in blood? (Gaga, not Laneia)
    Gaga would maybe also want people to take whatever the fuck they want out of her songs and enjoy them. Don’t know why some people get so serious about this shit/blood.

    full disclosure: don’t know Lady Gaga so I could be wrong.

    • I do know Lady Gaga personally, and she told me that she loved Laneia’s take on Bloody Mary. True story..

    • I already apologized. I already explained that I didn’t get the context of Laneia’s comment. Don’t know why you brought it up again. ;-)

      • i wasn’t asking for an apology, just simply commenting. i wasn’t even directing that at you specifically or I would have hit the reply button and done so specifically to yours. just stating my feeling of people (there are other comments in the comment section) taking reviews seriously.

        So Emy, was she like “Finally, somebody got it!!!!!! Now, who has my virgin/unicorn blood? I need a bath.”
        I imagine that’s why her skin always looks so nice and soft. And why she’ll live forever, like how Voldemort tried to do.

  35. I’m loving Americano.
    But Judas still has my heart.

    • We’re on the same boat. I can’t get “Judas” out of my head, it took me a while to like it, though. I loved “Americano” from the first note. <3

  36. Thanks for including the bonus tracks! I got the album from Amazon and this is my first time hearing them! <3

  37. Never made it to the end of The Queen? But that’s the best part! I actually can’t stop listening to the last two minutes of that song (the slow part).
    My Gay Best Friend roommate was blasting the first singles to come out on repeat (Born This Way/Judas/Hair? I don’t know what else) so I was worried that I was growing to hate the album before it was all released, but then I listened to the whole thing and decided that I really liked it. He can’t stop reciting lyrics from Heavy Metal Lover like “Dirty pony, I can’t wait to hose you down.”

  38. dear “sarah, contributing editor”, IF THAT’S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME, i love ‘you and i’, but disagree that it is the closest gaga has ever gotten to a ballad, because of ‘SPEECHLESS’, which is amazing.

  39. you guys know that bit in the l word where bette goes to new york and picks up a girl in the bar? i could sort of picture that scene with the prechorus of bloody mary (“i’ll dance dance dance with my hands hands hands” etc) as the music. y/n?

  40. Am I the only one who feels like Gaga is a text book narcissist? Probably untreated? It’s not that I don’t like her I just think that people are a bit naive in believing that someone understands them and is a symbol of how they feel and there fore are so willing to be used by someone who probably has NPD and is just riding the gay and religion wave. I mean controversy sells. Everyone knows that. I’m not so willing to jump in and believe everything I hear especially when someone is getting a pretty handsome paycheck to say it. Even if they are really talented and I enjoy their music as a whole. I just don’t believe in idolizing people I don’t even know. I don’t believe that people who can’t walk a line should be symbols of my personal suffering and therefore a icon. It’s just weird to me. Here’s a few pages on NPD so you’ll know I’m not insulting her lol I really do like her stuff. And I think she’s wounded and I can identify with that and understand that.
    (the diagnoses part is very interesting)
    I realize this is not necessarily relevant to the blog but it’s what I’ve been thinking for sometime and I thought I’d share it. :) take what you will. maybe some of you feel the same way.

    • Ooooh, a psych post!!! I love psychology and psychiatry. lol

      And, well, I don’t think Gaga has NPD. ;-)

      I’ve had a placement in the psych ward this year, and I saw a couple of patients with NPD. Believe me, it’s unmistakable. lol You look at them, they look at you, and you just KNOW. ;-) Plus, they have a way of speaking that’s unmistakable too.

      Gaga is eccentric and completely over-the-top, but I don’t think she has a personality disorder. I just think she’s way too artistic. lol She’s taken the whole performing art stuff to heart, and she’s performing even when she’s outside the stage.

      I’m not saying she doesn’t have issues. She probably does, but well, everyone has issues, right? I know I do. lol

      Greetings from Spain! ^^

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