VOTE NOW! Bette Porter 2020? Or One of These Other Fictional LA Gays? (Round 1)

When the first details started trickling about about The L Word: Generation Q, the main question on our TV Team’s mind was: Could Bette Porter really win a mayoral election in Los Angeles? Oh, how hotly we debated this reboot plot point that is easily more believable than 67% of the storylines on the original series! Was it just an excuse for everyone to keep saying “Govern me, Mommi”? Possibly! Either way, because we couldn’t come to a consensus, we’ve decided to actually put it to a vote by having Bette Porter face off in an election against some of Los Angeles’ other most popular lesbian, bisexual, and queer TV characters.

Below you will find these characters and their platforms. And then you will vote the character you think really should be mayor. (You don’t have to actually live in Los Angeles to vote; this is imaginary.) One-by-one characters will be eliminated and then we’ll make a decision once and for all about Bette Porter 2020!

Here’s the voting schedule:

Round 1 — 11/25
Round 2 — 11/26
Round 3 — 11/27
Round 4 — 12/2
Round 5 — 12/3
Round 6 — 12/4
The Final Election — 12/5
The Announcement of The Winner — 12/8


Bette Porter, The L Word

Campaign Manager: Carmen Phillips 

ADVERTISEMENT

Bet on Me to Top LA

Housing. Much like every major city in the United States, Los Angeles is currently having a housing crisis. That affects LGBTQ+ youth most directly, who make up roughly 50% of the homeless population in this city. I won’t allow this city to be continued to be bought out by those most wealthy and leaving our community with nothing more than scraps. Powerful rich white men don’t scare me, I eat them for breakfast. I will take on every real estate developer who is trying to rob us out of our most important safety net — a place to lay our heads at night — and I Will Win.

Unemployment. Every citizen of Los Angeles has the right to work for an increased minimum wage that reflects the astronomical cost of living in this city. It’s not just about if the wealthy power lesbians — like myself or my friends — can afford to have in home pools or $7 lattes every morning. It’s about if everyday citizens, just like you, can afford to work full time and not end up in a life debt. Having a good, well paying, stable job should be a basic human right, and I will work everyday until it is.

Education. I believe in investing in our public school system. Not only do the best of Los Angeles public schools go toe-to-toe with any of our supposedly posh private or charter schools, they do so with fewer resources. Public schools are the lifeblood of the future of our city. Not only do I want to put money back in our schools, I will make it a top priority to invest in LGBT+ education and install a more strict anti-bullying policy. There is nothing more important to me than supporting LGBT students and students of color. Mini-Bette was one of those girls, and I will fight for her today.


Dawn Denbo, The L Word

Campaign Manager: Riese Bernard 

I’m Dawn Denbo, and This Is my Lovely City.

Extended Nightlife. Bars and clubs in New York City stay open ‘til the sun comes up but here in Los Angeles, proud citizens are sent home at 2am, robbing the city of valuable income from food, liquor and payroll taxes. With all the cocaine floating around the streets of WeHo, there’s nothing stopping us from being the OTHER city that never sleeps.

Provide Affordable Housing to Young LGBTQ Women. How can women-owned bars and clubs thrive when the draconian government has made nearby housing inaccessible for young, nubile lesbians new to the city and eager to make questionable life choices while intoxicated? Without affordable housing in the seven key neighborhoods laid out in my revitalization plan, we may as well roll over and ask the man to fuck us in the ear. Also, homelessness is bad.

More Exemptions to #AB5. While I support the regulation of Uber, Lyft and other industries that exploit workers by misclassifying them as Independent Contractors, it’s absurd to include musicians in this bill, thus potentially forcing washed-up musical acts to abandon their art in favor of nightclub ownership. Plus I don’t have the time or patience to employ every random DJ who plays my club once a month. I’m busy!


Davina Rejennae, Transparent

Campaign Manager: Drew Gregory 

Help Each Other Along the Way

LGBTQ+ Education Standards. My work with LGBTQ+ youth has shown me that Los Angeles schools are still failing at queer education. My team and I have created new standards covering everything from introducing basic terms in early education to guidelines on how to talk to queer and trans students to properly inclusive sex education.

Universal Healthcare. Los Angeles is the largest city in California, the world’s fifth largest economy. There’s no reason we should wait for the rest of the country on an issue as urgent as healthcare. As an HIV-positive trans woman, I know the importance of high quality affordable healthcare for all. Income should not determine whether our residents get the care they need.

Close the Wealth Gap. Like most of the country, Los Angeles is a city plagued with devastating wealth disparity. That’s why I’ve come up with a series of proposals that will begin to redistribute wealth so everyone gets their fair share. Trust me. There are eccentric Jewish families in the Palisades who could do with a bit less privilege.


Emma Hernandez, Vida

Campaign Manger: Heather Hogan

I’m Just Me

An Economy that Works for People Who aren’t Zillionaires. Fuck big banks. Fuck income inequality. Affordable housing? Yup. Livable minimum wage? Yup.

Stop Ignoring the Climate Crisis. Do you want your kids to have a planet to live on, or what?

The Wall. Are you fucking kidding me with this shit still? Abolish ICE, citizenship for DREAMers, repeal the illegal entry statute, keep families together. Seriously? Are you fucking kidding? How is this even up for debate?


Rhonda Johnson, black-ish

Campaign Manager: Bailey

That’s so Rhonda

Support Black and LGBTQ Owned Businesses. Cultural landmarks are the beating heart and pride of our neighborhoods. I’m determined to provide support to local Black and LGBTQ owned businesses. Let’s make sure our city thrives!

Increase Wages for Ride Shares. As a former Lyft driver I support employment rights of ride share workers. I pledge that drivers have fair wages and benefits to keep our city on the move.

Housing Initiative for LGBTQ Homeless Youth. LGBTQ youth are more likely to experience homelessness than other youth. So in my time as mayor I will promote a housing initiative. Safeguarding some of the most vulnerable members of our communities to protect our future.


Willow Rosenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Campaign Manager: Valerie Anne

We’ve Got Magic to Do

Education. Nerds are the future! I will dedicate myself to improving our education system, ensuring our teachers are supported and compensated well, and that there are plenty of yellow crayons and vending machines in every school.

LGBTQ+ Community Centers. Let’s get together and make magic together! Everyone deserves to be able to gather as a coven group in a safe space where you can be yourself.

Family Policies. I want to fix the way corporations define family when it comes to HR policies because blood doesn’t make a family, love makes a family, and spousal, dependent, parental leave, bereavement leave, and other employment policies should reflect that.


Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time

Campaign Manager: Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Let’s Improve LA—One Day at a Time.

Education. As part of my platform, I want to make sure all schools in Los Angeles are trans and queer friendly in their policies, programs, and services. As the youngest candidate for mayor, education is very important to me, and making sure LGBTQ kids feel safe and welcome in their schools is a must.

Mental Health Resources. Making sure mental health resources and services are available in all schools is one of my other priorities. Every public school in Los Angeles should have at least one fully trained counselor on its staff.

Transportation. Lastly, I want to invest more in public transportation initiatives in LA, focusing on improving existing systems but also adding more bus routes. These programs would prioritize affordability as well as sustainability.


Nancy Botwin, Weeds

Campaign Manager: Heather Hogan

Nothing Is Never Enough — But We Live And We Try 

Eliminate Mandatory Minimum Sentence Reform. And hey let’s eliminate private prisons while we’re at it. Maybe we could even reform our criminal justice system?

Let’s Make a Public School System that Works for Everyone. Not just parents in wealthy neighborhoods who can afford to send their kids to charter schools. Maybe a little free college, maybe a little student debt cancellation.

Medicare for All. Getting sick shouldn’t bankrupt families for the rest of their lives!


Hen Wilson, 9-1-1

Campaign Manager: Heather Hogan

Your Shift’s Not Over Yet 

Prioritize Infrastructure. Our roads and bridges and airports and train stations and bus stops are congested and in complete disrepair. We can’t make our highways infinitely wider. We need to to tap into federal funding and find ways to make public transportation faster, further reaching, and more accessible.

Climate Change. These power outages and the dangerous conditions they cause are only going to get worse if we don’t start taking the climate crisis seriously at the local level.

Economic Reform that Works for Everyone. I have a plan to increase affordable housing, reduce our city’s debt and balance our budget, bring our city’s minimum wage up to a livable level, make sure families get the paid leave they deserve, and stop rewarding the super-rich just for being rich.


VOTE NOW!

The Autostraddle TV Team is made up of Riese Bernard, Carmen Phillips, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Valerie Anne, Natalie, Drew Gregory, and Heather Hogan. Follow them on Twitter!

The TV has written 109 articles for us.

15 Comments

  1. Main thoughts:
    – Genuinely flabbergasted that Dawn Dembo made the cut.
    – There is no way Willow would want to be in a position that comes with a lot of power after season 6. She’s exactly like Dumbledore that way.
    – Bette Porter 2020 but I had to vote for Elena Alvarez this round. She’d be so great.

  2. ok this is so fun????

    i hated bette as a romantic partner all through the series – she is WAY too much of a controlling person – but I actually kind of like her for this if she can tone down the verbal abuse of her underlings

    ALSO ALSO ALSO i love willow and i DO think she could be mayor of sunnydale but i do not think she is equipped to be the mayor of LA, I’m so sorry Valerie Anne, but I do think she would make a very good secretary of education! (IDK if that exists at the municipal level but I’m going with it)

  3. I want to do a write in ballot for Alexandra Danvers. As a resident of National City (Earth-38’s Los Angeles) she should be able to run.

    Alex Danvers
    Campaign Manager: Kristana

    Let’s clean up city hall.

    LGBTQ+ FAMILY. As a petitioning adoptive mother, Alex Danvers will fight for the rights of LGBTQ+ families to not only have the right to adopt, but to get married, have equal partner rights under the law, and to not be discriminated against in the workplace.

    A POLICE FORCE YOU CAN TRUST. As the director in a government law enforcement agency, this candidate has seen both benefits and the harm that the LAPD could bring. One of her top priorities is to ensure that the police act both legally and ethically to enforce the law.

    MENTAL HEALTH THAT WON’T LET YOU FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS. Did you know that LGBTQ+ youth are far more likely to suffer depression and other mental health struggles than their heterosexual peers? As a mental health counselor, Alex’s life partner, Kelly Olsen, has made sure to keep it on Alex’s agenda.

  4. I had to go with Emma Hernandez for the “straight” talk about the wall, climate change, and income inequality. Also, I want to see a Bette Porter and Emma Hernandez debate that ends in a cat fight/make out session.

  5. Nancy Botwin. Because she adapts to any situation and gets shit done*.
    *Basing this on only the first three seasons of Weeds.
    If you’re in a city threatened by earthquakes, storms, drought and endless celebrity drama and want someone who after dealing with all of that will still go to a session on better school lunches, that’s the madam mayor you’re looking for.

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.