Perhaps you are like me, and spent most of yesterday sobbing gently at the beautiful truths expressed in Kristen Stewart’s recently published poem “My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole.” Although she has spent her prolific acting career expressing a variety of emotions ranging from sullen to petulant to reluctantly pouty, the decorated thespian recently surprised her Marie Claire interviewer with a poem she’d written.
“She often writes intense little verses, words or strings of words, rearranging them in a process she herself doesn’t understand but believes is somehow essential to her sanity.” —Marie Claire magazine
As a person with a deep and passionate appreciation for the awkward Twilight actress, I felt personally connected to her beautiful verse, and yearned to pay tribute in some way. Fortunately, Comedy Editor Brittani Nichols and I were able to come together and express our mutual admiration via a dramatic interpretation, which we present to you now with enormous pride:
As Stewart told Marie Claire, “I like being able to hit on something, like, ‘There it is.’ I don’t want to sound so fucking utterly pretentious … but after I write something, I go, ‘Holy fuck, that’s crazy.'” Indeed, KStew. Indeed.
I want to live in a world where this happens all the time.
You guys did a great job here. Next we should see if Michael Shannon, maybe Molly Shannon, would be available to do a highly stylized, Beat era interpretation of this piece.
this was SO dramatic
I don’t know what just happened, but it was kinda fun.
Holy fuck, you guys. There it is.
I love kstew more than I love most people I know irl, and I love this video almost as much as that.
this is the way, the truth and the light
THANK YOU LESBIAN JESUS FOR THIS!
Really hope that Kstew keeps writing poetry if you guys promise to keep reading it.
“how did we get here, you know?” // “living the dream”
have some version of this exchange daily.
want b’s laugh to be the sound my phone alarm makes when it reminds me to take my wellbutrin.
love this so much.
“want b’s laugh to be the sound my phone alarm makes when it reminds me to take my wellbutrin.”
i want to award this sentence a pulitzer
one honest day
holy fuck, this is glorious.
Please tell me this is going to be the new normal now that you are on the left coast?!
I really do hope this will be a thing. As if they aren’t amazing enough by themselves.
If KS were a chord she’d be that A minor..all alternative and sad-like. You read her poetry, played her spirit chord, now say her name three times in the mirror and she’ll appear. Or something like that.
Believe me, if one could summon KStew by standing in front of a mirror murmuring her name, I think I’d know by now.
Well this is perfect.
KStew has FEEEEEEEEELINGS.
I enjoyed how the first half of the video was just laughter with a hint of “what am I doing with my life”?
No, but seriously I need a gif of Stef looking then looking away.
This is the best thing
I clicked this thinking it was actually KStew doing the dramatic reading, but holy cheesepacks! This is also amazing.
But I’m still holding out for KStew reading her own poetry. That’ll be better than bacon wrapped in cheese. Or cheese wrapped in bacon.
I want KStew to publish and entire chapbook of embarrassing poems so that you can give the same song treatment to it, plus “A Night Without Armor,” and “Foolish/Unfoolish.”
i LOVE this. more collaborative dramatic readings, please!
I don’t want to derail the conversation, but just around the time this post appeared one of the very best women slam poets and writers has passed away at the advanced age of 50. Maggie Estep was a terrific writer and even better known for her poetry which was featured on MTV during the 1990s (before it was mired in reality show hell). If you’ve never seen Maggie perform or written her books you’re in for a treat… she’s both moving, extremely funny, and, yeah, often angry and outraged (in an entertaining way). http://youtu.be/CdxGvKhS6wc
I have to think Kristen was heavily influenced by Maggie.
“written her book”… meant to say “read her books” grr
holy crap, this is brilliant