Perhaps you — like me, and every other gay person I know on Twitter — were recently taken with the story of the very angry man-hating chihuahua looking for a home. Prancer sprang to notoriety a few weeks ago when his foster mom posted an ad about him that called him a “vessel for a traumatized Victorian child” and a “neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dog that looks like gremlin” and the embodiment of “that episode of The Office where Michael Scott silently whispers ‘I’ll kill you’ to Toby.” And yet, his foster mom insisted that in the right home — preferably the home of a lesbian or a pair of lesbians, and no other living things — Prancer could thrive.
Well, guess what? Ariel Davis, a 36-year-old lesbian from Connecticut saw that ad, thought to herself “Why not?” and adopted Prancer! “What’s the worst that could happen?” she asked herself, somehow, after living through the last 18 months. And her optimism paid off! She told The Today Show that adopting Prancer was one of the best days of her life!
“I’m a single woman, I’m a single lesbian, I live with another woman, I don’t have any men in my life, I work in a women’s rehab, I don’t have any other animals. It just felt like a perfect match,” she said.
She even started an Instagram for Prancer! He seems very grumpy and also very happy!
I, of course, reached out to Autostraddle’s favorite chihuahua, Carol Aird Tinkerbell Junior Bernard, for comment.
“As a fellow chihuahua who is 50% tremble, I am heartened to see that there is a home for every one of us. For example, I probably would’ve been put out to pasture had my heroic parent Riese not rescued me from the animal shelter, where I was surrounded by a scourge Prancer knows well: other dogs!!!!!!!!!!!,” Carol told me. “I still have NO idea why other animals exist. Squirrels??? WHY?!!! Anyhow, although I LOVE people of all genders and therefore am a more desirable houseguest than Prancer, I am pleased to see other smart chihuahuas find homes with lesbians in the twilight years of their thirties. I wish this dog all the best and I hope he never crosses my path.”
We, too, wish Prancer the very best life and the great good fortune to not have to get into an internet war with lesbian fandom’s original favorite chihuahua, Carol the Dog.
I would absolutely read a regular vapid fluff column that’s just queer folks adopting animals. Let me know about the lesbians and their cats, non-binary folks with their reptiles, trans women and birds, whatever! I am fully prepared to cry over some dykes adopting a goat or something.
Pawped Fluff? Vapid Floof? I am extremely here for this idea, and also think it should be ghost written by Heather’s cats for maximum queer content and joy.
Found Fawwwwwwmily
VAPID FLOOF
That is a great idea!
I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN
…so much so that I am commenting on AS for the first time in years and years of reading and relying upon it for my basic well-being eeep hi everyone…
(also comment award for these column title ideas?!?!) <3
@queergirl – comment award for all the column names (vapid floof!!)
Ariel Davis, as ALSO a lesbian from New Haven I need to get a Prancer sighting ASAP!
thank you Carol for your insightful commentary. always great to hear from you; enjoy the rest of your day of trembles and naps.
“…and the great good fortune to not have to get into an internet war with lesbian fandom’s original favorite chihuahua, Carol the Dog.”
Autostraddle March Madness 2022 : Lesbian Pets Edition
All chihuahuas are at least 20% demonic aren’t they? Little fuckers. But I’m happy for this little fucker that it found a home.
Seriously people, if you want a dog, don’t get a pedigree puppy. Pretty much all chihuahuas have increased intercranial pressure from inbreading. It causes them pain. No wonder they’re so mean. Nearly all pedigree dogs come with severe dysmorphias and very high chances of diseases that cause them pain and suffering.
Please adopt or get a mutt puppy.
HI CAROL HI CAROL I’M HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK, it’s been ages, so much has happened since you last logged in! Thank you for throwing us a bone with this important news. Can confirm that lesbians and queer girls make very good parents, if i do say so myself, even if NPR using the word “lesbians” in their tweet of the news this morning gave many weird people paws. I mean pause. Love always xoxo Cyrus
I also adopted a small misandrist dog by telling the rescue that I am gay, 9/10 highly recommend (one star off because she really is a terror when I visit my dad)
I love that this is categorized under Queer Parenting & Family
Hi Prancer nice to meet you I guess even though you are a dog. Please keep your distance. I want to inform you that you are very privileged to be an only pet, very privileged indeed, because would you like to know what happened to me? Would you? My moms moved in together and now I have to live with my evil stepbrothers and they are stupid butthead bully meanies (I’m not scared though) and I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM SO MUCH! I WILL YELL ABOUT IT FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!
HI ZUZU ILU i know you don’t like me but i have a secret: black cats r gud luck ok pass it on
Correct, we are the superior cats, me in particular. I accept your fawning with disdainful nonchalance
ps. YOU HAVE STEP SIBLINGS congrats do you just love them sooooo much do you play together do you play tug of war tell the truth
No I certainly DO NOT, they are stinky and bad and they try to come into my room and STARE at me how very rude
Now this is excellent news.
YOU GUYS CAROL LOST HER LOGIN AND CAN’T COMMENT BACK, which we will handle in the morning. for the time being she would like to issue a blanket “i love you” to all of her fans, and thank them for their dedication to her cause (stardom) (and getting a piece of chicken)
It happens to the best of us, especially since we have no POCKETS
Lol Cyrus meant to post this
HAhahah Cyrus only gives quotes through his agent/owner when he is too busy to comment himself. So many naps that need napping and dinners that need eating.