Here are some movies from the 80s, 90s and early 00s that we watched as pre-teens / teens / last week because of the 0.3 seconds of nudity, whether we knew it or not. Almost all of them are PG-13 and their storylines aren’t necessarily sexual, so they could be viewed over and over without anyone thinking you were a pervert. This type of covert behavior was necessary if you were even mildly interested in female nudity prior to the internet / being an adult.
10. The Fifth Element
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Basically just put Milla Jovovich in a movie and we will sit in front of that movie and watch it. High five to the wardrobe department.
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9. Splash
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Laying the groundwork for my unhealthy obsession with The Little Mermaid.
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8. Species
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Super hot cyborg alien wants to procreate, takes off clothes.
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7. Hackers
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Angelina Jolie with short hair.
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6. Shakespeare in Love
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Pretty girl in drag falls in love with pretty boy, takes off clothes.
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5. Swordfish
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Sort of like a James Bond movie, but with a topless Halle Berry, which is how I like my James Bond movies.
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4. American Beauty
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I’m watching this because it’s cerebral, dark and funny! I don’t even care ab– what breasts? Hm? Oh, those. I hardly noticed.
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3. Road Trip
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Student: She was topless? Girls don’t just stand around naked.
Barry: Uh, yeah, they do. Ok? This is my story. You wanna hear it or not?
Student: It just doesn’t make any–
Barry: –Shh! Please, no interruptions, Ok?
So this other girl walks up, right? Totally hot. Naked! Really naked!
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2. Titanic
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At first I thought I was watching Titanic for the unkempt sexiness of Leonardo DiCaprio, then Kate Winslet took her clothes off.
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1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
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Um, best slow-motion walk near a pool in cinematic history?
Yes.
This would be a good time to talk about the lengths you went to for nudity! Or maybe it was just me?
No judging from me! If we had had the ability to take screenshots when I was younger, my computer would have been filled with nudity.
My favorite on that list is Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
I think my favorite movie that had some lesbian subtext and nudity (though not very brief…quite explicit, actually) is Poison Ivy with Drew Barrymore and Sara Gilbert.
A Lesbian Sex Blog
POISON IVY. Drew Barrymore, get in my bed.
1997 – the Year of Milla & Kate…well, for me anyway.
This wasn’t a subtle PG-13 movie, but I definitely rented Chloe last weekend to see Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried have sex and be totally naked multiple times.
Not worth it, guyz. Not worth it at all.
totally agree. it was not worth it.
Chloe was not that great, I agree, but it still falls into my favorite movie genre: surprise lesbian sex. I love those films that you decide to watch without any previous knowledge of its plot and then SURPRISE IT’S TWO GIRLS HAVING SEX.
Also Mulholland Drive fits into that category nicely. Except that it’s a really, really good movie, even sans Naomi Watts and Laura Harring naked in bed together.
That is EXACTLY how Titanic went for me.
Also, In the Cut. Horrible, HORRIBLE movie, but Meg Ryan is naked for most of it.
oh my god i love hackers.
me too! but it took me years to realize WHY i loved Hackers. Angelina with alternative lifestyle haircut is the reason, of course.
crash & Burn, meh.
You left out the older version of Romeo and Juliet. There is some righteous boob in that movie.
i remember watching that in my drama class, and i think my teacher forgot/didn’t know that the boob was coming. he warned us about ass, and told us to look away, but when it came to boob…
idk but even the straight kids were excited about that boob.
LOL.
We had to get permission slips to watch that in 9th grade because my English teacher refused to censor the boob.
I loved that English teacher.
The one from 1968? I watched part of it in 9th grade English and I remember thinking the Juliet was so hot, but looked so much like she was from the 70s and not the time era of Romeo and Juliet. There was righteous boob action?!
hahaha it’s like you know me perfectly!!
i watched all of these as a young sexually unaware tot, my dad let us watch pretty much any movie growing up (extra thankful for that). i think he started getting suspicious about my sexuality after i asked him if i could we could rent american beauty for the fourth time.
He probably just thought, “Man, that kid really loves Kevin Spacey.”
But what kid doesn’t love Kevin Spacey?!
i know right! i so wanted to be the one to go to k-pax!!!
Absolutely that’s why I watched American Beauty as a teenager.
I watched American Beauty when I was in high school sitting between my dad and my best friend. Yeahhhh.
I bought it from a used video store on VHS and snuck it home in my backpack.
ohhhh phoebe cates… yes please! also more recently… the only reason i watched love and other drugs was for anne hathaway.
‘At first I thought I was watching Titanic for the unkempt sexiness of Leonardo DiCaprio, then Kate Winslet took her clothes off.’
Word.
growing up mormon I only saw 2 of these movies and my mum covered up the part in Titanic and the steamy hand print. :(
My parents are not Mormon but pretty conservative so they didn’t allow me to watch Titanic at all. I think I was in like 3rd grade at the time? I totally haven’t thought about this in ages, but in retrospect I’m pretty sure the reason I really really wanted to see it is because I really really wanted to see Kate Winslet’s breasts. My little baby gay self just didn’t realize it at the time…
The only reason I wanted to see Titanic was because I’d heard a rumor about main boy drawing a picture of naked main girl.
I was in like grade 3 and had to watch it with my dad but it was still so worth it.
We need to mention that Kate Winslet in Titanic in that red dress is the single hottest woman who has ever walked the face of the earth.
She and Sara Ramirez and Dana fight it out for my soul.
Anyone else remember “Salmonberries,” in which a totally nude k.d. lang roved she’d been hiding some lovely lady curves under her shapeless clothing?
“proved,” not “roved” #WillProofreadNextTime
I watched Titanic with my parents when it came out.
So. That was awkward.
hahah so did i they told me too look away when the sex scenes came on but they totally caught me peeking though my fingers. little did they know that i was contently watching kate winslet
I’m with you on this as well. Except we were seeing it in the theater. And my little sister was also there.
Sooooo awkward.
Was I the only one expecting Black Swan to be #1?
I love that this is a Top Ten because that implies that there are more.
I’m so judging you right now.
i purposely left out National Lampoon’s European Vacation because it was impossible to find a decent promo image or screenshot.
i’m pretty sure my dad and i bonded over the fifth element when i was a kid.
which is probs why he knew i was gay. no chick can watch her wearing that outfit and come out straight.
my dad and i bonded over g.i. jane. i think i have watched it like 10 times with him. yet he was still shocked to learn i was gay. seriously? no words for that.
‘Sort of like a James Bond movie, but with a topless Halle Berry, which is how I like my James Bond movies.’
WORD.
Re: Shakespeare in Love – I don’t know what it is, but femmey girls in drag just do it for me. Like, every opera I’ve seen that has a trouser role*, I can’t stop staring at that girl. Also, this movie, even though I normally can’t stand Gwyneth. But only the parts where she’s dressed as a boy.
*Female singer playing a male character, usually a teenage boy.
I only realized this is A Thing for me last weekend. Obviously this is why I liked watching Shakespeare things so much when I was younger! Especially Twelfth Night, when Olivia is in love with Cesario/Viola. Can we just stop the thing there so Olivia and Viola run off together forever?
And of course that disney channel original movie about Motocross where the girl pretends to be her twin brother to compete. And Servant of Two Masters where Beatrice pretends to be Federico. And on and on…
(This realization was also, dorkily enough, brought on by watching A Very Potter musical and crushing on girl-in-drag as Draco. Mmmmm.)
Wow, could I say thing a few more times in that first paragraph? Thing thing thing thing thing….
Ok, so I didn’t realize this was a thing for me either until you said GIRL IN DRAG AS DRACO. Jesus christ, damn.
OHMYGOD I just realized this was a thing for me too! This happens to me, like, every time I see a play at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Somehow, they manage to produce a ton of plays featuring femmy girls in drag, even their non-Shakespeare ones.
One of the best tropes of all time, in the humble opinion of my pants.
Oh Fifth Element. I turn you on every. single. time. you are on the tv.
…and I’m sure that Fifth Element returns the favor amiright?
I totally just rewatched Hackers last week and it stands the test of time. I want Angelina Jolie’s alternative lifestyle haircut. And just, you know, Angelina Jolie.
Also, this: “Almost all of them are PG-13 and their storylines aren’t necessarily sexual, so they could be viewed over and over without anyone thinking you were a pervert” describes my early adolescence so well. I used to watch Shakira music videos over and over again, “for the music.” It wasn’t until years later that I realized there is absolutely no reason to watch a Shakira music video more than once unless you are sexually attracted to Shakira. I mean, come on, La Tortura is basically Shakira writhing around in chocolate syrup/oil for 4 minutes. But I just wanted to learn the Spanish lyrics, you know?? I was not a very self-aware adolescent.
“I used to watch Shakira music videos over and over again, “for the music.” It wasn’t until years later that I realized there is absolutely no reason to watch a Shakira music video more than once unless you are sexually attracted to Shakira. I mean, come on, La Tortura is basically Shakira writhing around in chocolate syrup/oil for 4 minutes. But I just wanted to learn the Spanish lyrics, you know?? I was not a very self-aware adolescent.”
You just described all of my high school years!
Commenting a year late:
I minored in Spanish in college in a futile effort to convince myself that I was watching Shakira videos for the educational opportunities they offered.
in hackers when dade dreams that angelenia jolie busts into his room and rips her leather jacket off —> rewind three times
Gia really needs to be this list…
Apparently my tastes haven’t matured with age–we watched The Fifth Element and Swordfish at our most recent movie night at home.
This list is missing American Pie. The only reason anyone (OK, maybe just me) watched that movie was to see Shannon Elizabeth’s glorious, glorious breasts. That was basically it.
Good call on Species. The movie itself is so ridiculous, you just keep hoping she’ll get naked again. I remember the marketing of that movie when I was a kid. Clearly the only reason anyone saw that was to see her naked.
My friend dragged me to see Swordfish because he wanted to see Halle Berry’s boobs. In the end it was such a let down because she was just tanning by the pool and talking to someone like nothing was amiss and it was utterly non-sexual.
Wait. People watch Hackers for reasons other than Angelina Jolie in great outfits and not.
Not real nudity, but Keira Knightley in a sports bra and no shirt in Bend It Like Beckham. Yes.
And Evan Rachel Wood’s boob in Across the Universe. (pre- my coming out, barely, so I still think it counts)
also keira’s backless shirt when they go clubbing in bend it like beckham was a very real pre-gay experience for me
Evan Rachel Wood’s boob is bisexual, so we could like it before we came out.
It’s 4am. It makes sense right now.
i dont think we should assume thing about evan rachel wood bisexual’s boobs.
but i think that her boobs are lesbians.
I heard that her right boob is a lesbian and her left boob is straight, thats what makes her Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual right?
I recall my friends pausing, rewinding, pausing, rewinding, and pausing “Now and Then” trying to glimpse Devon Sawa’s man bits… I was obviously not as impressed with this particular quest.
I used to sneak my parents copy of Election at the peak of my curiosity..
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and The Girl Who Played With Fire. Noomi Rapace…
I just needed somewhere to post this and this page seemed the best place…Seriously, watch Room in Rome. Two naked women, one lesbian, one straight until the beginning of the movie. And the plot is pretty okay. One hour and 47 minutes, well maybe just one hour and 40 minutes, of two naked women. One Spanish, one Russian. Sex and a little bit of drama. Watch it. Seriously.
Just One of the Guys!
Girl dresses like boy to write an undercover article to win an internship. Helps hopeless boy become popular, he gets the popular girl, and boy in drag falls for boy. Proving that she is indeed female is too hard for words, so she busts open her tuxedo at prom to show her naked chest!
It used to be played on HBO or something like that all the time while I was growing up. It’s so cheesy but I love it. When I was a kid (and still do it today) I simply stare & smile when that scene comes on.
She looks cute as a boy and looks amazing in an all white leather mini skirt and tank.
As a teenager I sought out art and films with nudity, both male and female. Even ones with brief scenes like these (and I have seen some of these) but what a lot of people find weird about that is in my case it was not primarily sexual, and for that matter I often found the all-too-common sexualization of nudity in entertainment to be irritating, as if that were an unwelcome addition. Because it actually was.
As I became older and more self-aware, it turns out that “humans wearing clothing all the time” actually feels alien and unnatural to me, and seeing other people in a “natural state” (or even just being allowed to be in such a state around others, even if no one else is doing it) is a form of comfort. And yes, that does mean that I do attend nudist environments/events occasionally. And I also encourage my boyfriends/girlfriends to strip down when they’re over at my place even when there’s not going to be sex involved at any point (some of them take to that better than others).
I also dislike visual censorship (blurring, black bars, blatant strategic object placement, unnatural camera positioning…) because it draws too much attention to the censored body parts and implies that the viewer either doesn’t really want to see nudity or can’t handle it.