“To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 412: Long Time Coming

It’s the Season Four finale, and much like Season Four itself we are ALL OVER THE PLACE. These places include: a daring sign Heist involving Shane/Alice/Bette and raw meat, Jodi having red wine in a tent allegedly, a going away party on the beach for Tasha, Jenny adopting a puppy and letting it pee all over town, an unhinged hotel-pool confrontation between Jenny, Kate and Stacey “Your Little Magazine Called Curve” Merkin, some Bette/Tina sexual tension and Joyce Wyshnia returning WITH! A BANG!

Articles as promised:

The usual:

Bette sitting outside on the pavement in front of a bald man playing an acoustic guitar, singing, "I've been standin' at the station." Jenny (with her hair curled) holding a disposable coffee cup, saying, "What a fucking asshole." Shane (in a white button-up shirt) and Paige look seriously at each other. Shane says, "to fuck you in a bed." Alice's arm (featuring her rainbow star tattoo on her right upper arm) and Tasha's torso in a black shirt. Tasha is holding a party invitation (with a picture of her in her army uniform on it) in her hands. Tasha says, "I really want you to come to my going-away party." Papi (in a white t-shirt) holding a piece of paper. She reads from it, "Separate my underwear -- bikinis, thongs, briefs." Tina and Bette stand outside next to a water cooler. Tina is looking at her cell phone in her hands, and Bette is looking at it too. Tina says, "Dear... Jodi."

Bette (in a red velvet blazer) smiles big at Tina (whose back is to the camera). Bette says, "So you're back with women, then?"

Jared looks concerned at Paige (whose back is to the camera). Jared says, "I don't want you to be a lez."

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Phyllis (in a white shirt and black blazer) stands in her dimly lit fancy office. She says, "technically, a tool for enlarging holes."

Jenny sits in a high-back black office chair, holding a tan Pomeranian dog on her lap. Her head is tilted to the right, and she says, "She just wants to fuck you."

Tina (in a black suit) sits at a conference table in front of a stack of white papers. There's a brunette woman in a tan cap sitting next to her with her mouth wide open. Tina says, "She does."

Close-up shot of Tina with her mouth open. She says, "You're a cunt."

Jenny (with her hair curled and wearing a black dress) looks downwards, averting eye contact. Subtitles read, "[Liquid trickling]" Dimly-lit shot of Jodi, holding a glass of red wine and wearing a big white scarf. Bette sits across from her, her back to the camera. Jodi says, "We're sleeping in a tent."

Alice (wearing a black beret and an camouflage jacket) and Shane (wearing all black, her pants falling down slightly) have just hopped a chain link fence and are now on the ground. Subtitles read, "[Gate slams]"

Alice (in a black beret and a camo jacket) and Bette (wearing a black jacket and a black messenger bag across her body) facing each other outside. "Why is she talking about kids and bikes?"

Shane, Bette, and Alice stand in front of a giant billboard that says, "17 reason why!" They're posing for a picture. Alice says, "Okay, say, 'This is fucking crazy!'"

Jenny in a black coat is holding a tan Pomeranian dog in her arms. She says, "I didn't kill a dog."

Joyce and Phyllis standing next to each other, opposite of Bette (who is barely in frame). Joyce says, "I knew I wanted to jump her lovely bones."

Shane and Paige laying naked in bed. Shane is topless and smoking a cigarette. Paige has hear head turned away from Shane, looking off in the distance.

Shane and Jenny (holding a tan Pomeranian dog) sit next to each other outside. Shane has one arm on jenny's shoulder, the other hand on the dog. They are looking and smiling at each other. Shane says, "You're not a pariah, fuck off."

Helena (wearing a brown oversized cardigan) and Catherine (in a white poncho) face each other in a dimly lit room. Catherine is holding a brief case in her left hand. Catherine says, "I'll write you a check for a million dollars."

Bette looks concerned and is holding a black landline phone to her ear. Through the phone, Tina says, "I would do anything for another chance."

Shane holds a tan Pomeranian dog on the beach, the waves crashing behind them. Shane says to the dog, "Were you getting bored at the party?"

Jenny sits alone in an inflatable yellow boat in the water, resting her head in her hands.

Bette is driving an enormous yellow tractor, with a trailer attached carrying the "17 reasons why!" billboard that they stole. Music plays in the background, singing, "How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?" Jodi walks towards Bette (whose back is to the camera). Jodi is wearing a brown tweed blazer and a plaid scarf. They are outside. Music plays, singing, "Were you a lonely boy?"

Aerial shot of a grassy field. In frame, you can see the yellow tractor attached to a trailer with the "17 Reasons Why!" billboard strapped onto it, a blue pop-up tent, a yellow camping tent, a red pick up truck, and some people standing off in the distance. Music is playing, singing, "Might hate his own daughter if she were gay?"

Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2849 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. As one of the people who had a rough time with last weeks episode, this weeks conversation between Riese and Carly about the Iraq War, the US military, American imperialism and war in general was much appreciated.

    I think the conversation was honest, smart and nuanced and makes looking back on this season easier. I think this was a necessary conversation that I would have liked to hear earlier in the season. I think citizens of a country will always be “qualified” to express their opinions on the wars their country wages.

    And I think talking about the way Tasha is a beloved character who was created to illustrate a barely thought out plot point of the writers is just one of those classic pieces of To L and Back criticism I love so much. So yeah, thanks for this one.

  2. I love this podcast. I appreciated the discussion of the problem of Shane never rinsing her mouth after brushing her teeth and also noticed that she spits toothpaste INTO the sink that Paige has plugged and filled with water to rinse her razor in?!?!? Seems gross. Also am dying to know which spelling game app Riese has, I am obsessed with a similar one where you can only play one game per day and want another one!

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