As a child of the internet, I have spent a lifetime clicking on odd things and ending up getting lost in deep internet circles. So it makes perfect sense that the trend has continued now that I am an adult with truly unlimited internet access.
Last year, I told you about Hot Ones, the show where a tiny caucasian man with a stomach of steel interviews celebrities while forcing them to eat chicken wings that get spicer and spicer. Now, the show usually has heterosexual celebrities that I don’t fully care about —exceptions from recent seasons include that Tracee Ellis Ross and Daniel Kaluuya who I care about QUITE A BIT — but there is an occasional queer or two!!
So, I turned it into a list for you to save and watch the next time you’re bored and find yourself on Youtube wanting to watch something gay that isn’t a fan cam of scenes from Killing Eve, you’re welcome.
Let’s start with the queer celebs in the most recent season of Hot Ones!
Excuse me — when I saw that THEE queen was on the show I watched it swiftly. With her half up, half down hairdo, perfect hoops and smile that could drop a million panties, she talked about all things 90’s (complete with images of her playing softball), shares memories she has with folks like Tupac, and manages to keep her lipstick perfect while making her way through the wings. If I could wrap this up and give it as a present to Dani and Carmen I would, but instead they will just have to watch this on repeat.
Listen, I am newcomer to the Tessa Thompson train but none of that matters because I am here now and I get it. Ever since that still from Thor: Love and Thunder of her licking that sword made its rounds on Twitter (and the Autostraddle Slack) I have been firmly on team Tessa. She talks about the film, eats chicken nuggets and refuses to take off her oversized blazer while she sweats her way through the spicy ass wings.
Megan Thee Stallion
So this one actually came out a while ago, but I didn’t want to include it in my last Hot Ones round-up because Miss Megan hadn’t said a whole bunch about being not straight. BUT after her appearance on City Girl Careshas’ podcast where there was a BIT OF THAT GAY SHIT GOING ON, it’s safe to say that I can include her. Megan talks horror films, anime, and looking hot while being stuck in traffic
That’s it for the queer girlies in this season of Hot Ones, and I will absolutely be back next season to tell you about more. Who knew a show where a cishet man eats foods with celebs would bring me such gay joy? As the infamously unproblematic white man Paul Rudd infamously said in his episode — “Not Me!” You can revisit the earlier seasons below.
“If I were to have a normal civilian job it would probably be like a french fry connoisseur.”
“I feel like I’m gonna get in trouble with the hot sauce community.”
“Can I call my mother?”
“NEVER! I will never tap out!!!”
Abbi Jacobson & Ilana Glazer
“I mean, my face is sweating — but I’m chillin'”
“Do you know what farm they came from? ‘I’ll find out later.”
I couldn’t find a quote to use but it doesn’t fucking matter — you’re all going to watch her video anyway.
Also hard to find a quote but I mean — she takes off her leather jacket soooooo….
“I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.”
::chaotically laughs into the milk before taking small nibbles and trash-talking chicken nuggets::