I decided to start some drama by asking a bunch of queers to share their pettiest friendship fights. Some of the answers I got…sounded like totally legitimate reasons to hold a grudge against a friend?! But what do I know; I’m a Gemini who lives for petty disputes. Also I learned there really are a lot of you out here who have an issue with the way your friends chew. What’s going on there?
We all have our fair share of real drama, but today we’re here to discuss the little things that bring out the Petty Coopers in us all. If you’re holding a grudge for something silly, I hear you and I see you. Petty is an art form.
Queer People Share the Pettiest Reasons We’ve Been Mad at Friends
1. Buying a pair of shorts I desperately wanted after searching for the right pair for ages
2. Changing the name of our group chat to what they thought would be a good name for the group chat even though everybody liked what I had already named the group chat
3. Planning her baby shower on my birthday
4. Saying “why are we letting the barbarian talk” during D&D… reader, I was the barbarian1
5. Not liking Claudia Winkleman
6. Not refilling the Brita2
7. Not responding when I asked to see Bottoms and then seeing it on their letterboxd a week later 😒
9. Chewing loudly
10. The way she chews
11. Interrupting me
12. Not closing the Oreos properly, thus making the entire (almost brand new) container go stale
13. Making a brunch reservation at a restaurant that didn’t actually serve breakfast food at brunch, only lunch food
14. Wearing the same dress as me to a party (even though there’s no way she could have known what I was wearing)
15. Being friends with my shitty ex cuz my shitty ex has money3
16. Not watching Real Housewives of Atlanta
17. Asking me out to coffee and then taking me to a place that only had tea
18. Recommending a bad book to me4
19. Bringing her weird boyfriend over who picked at the blister on his foot and bled onto my floor5
20. Beating me at Scrabble
21. Blaming everything they do on being an Aries
22. Not being enthusiastic enough about my new cat
23. Sending me photos of their cat and wanting me to be excited about the cat even though they know I am allergic to cats
24. Naming their dog the same name as my cat
25. Picking outdoor seating even though it was super cold and saying it was okay because of heat lamps but it wasn’t, even with the heat lamps it was still really cold!
26. Driving too slow
27. Not giving me her pancake recipe
28. Telling me I drink too much seltzer
29. Taking really bad photos I’m in and then posting them!!!!!
30. Posting photos I’m not in when there were plenty of good photos to post that I was in
31. Not reading an article I sent them
32. Being vegan
33. Not believing switches exist 😡
34. The way she yawns
35. “Nothing. All my grudges are legitimate.”
1 Unless I’m misunderstanding some nuances of D&D play and barbarian refers to a character or something…this sounds legitimate!!!!
2 ALSO LEGITIMATE!!!!!!!! My friend’s husband did this in my home once, and I shall never forget.
3 Okay, truly this one sounds more than legitimate.
4 I would simply never forgive.
5 Say it with me folks: LEGITIMATE.