Letter From Your Editors

Hello Spring Chickens!

We used to call my Macaroni Grill manager “spring chicken” ’cause he wore this pale yellow shirt on Easter one year and Veronica was like, “hey spring chicken!” and I don’t know, it just stuck. Here are some pictures of us enjoying the outdoors and other Springy activities:

So, this past month has been full of twists and turns, as per ushe. In addition to plowing forward with grown-ups and grown-up content and getting that all lined up to unleash upon you in an orderly fashion, we’ve also re-vamped how we deliver the news to your face every morning: committing to daily link-roundups containing all the news you need to know at 9 AM PST. We’re on Week Two of that initiative and I’m already personally really loving it. I’ve also been having a lot of A-Camp planning meetings with Robin and Marni as we transition into Crunch Time with only 2.5 months until A-Camp 6.0. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

This past weekend I traveled to Los Angeles for the 26th Annual GLAAD Media Awards. Aside from the aggressive waiters who took my salad away before I finished it, then took my chicken away before I finished it and then took my desert away before I finished it, it was the best GLAAD Awards of all time. Why? BECAUSE WE WON THAT SHIT, BITCHES!!!

Anyhow, how are y’all? Thanks for coming to our birthday party on March 9th! We hope you have also enjoyed A+ content this month such as The A+ Bee Issues 15 and 16, Dannielle’s interview with her famous ex-girlfriend Allison Weiss, Kristin’s interview with her ex-girlfriend Jen and the Staycation Livestream.

We’ve acquired so many new A+ members this month. Welcome, newbies! I hope you’ve had a chance to check out the A+ Archives you now have full and complete access to and I really hope you’ve had a chance to peruse the amazing graphics from last month’s Insider.  It’s filled with secrets straight from the heart. We now have 1,186 Paid A+ members and I’d like to bake you all a cake.

Love,

Riese and also Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From February 2015

These posts were hella popular this month.

1. 10 Lesbian Couples Who Don’t Mind The (Age) Gap, by Riese Bernard
2. 12 TV Stars Of The ’80s and ’90s Who Turned Out To Be Lesbian, Bisexual Or Ottherwise Totally Queer, by Riese Bernard
3. Saturday Morning Cartoons: Taste The Rainbow, by Megan Praz
4. Love Is A Lie: Angel Haze and Ireland Baldwin Break Up, by Stef Schwartz
5. VIDEO: Look How Cute These Lesbians Are In This Hallmark Ad, by Yvonne Marquez
6. 50 Shades of Grey Cats, by Heather Hogan
7. Lesbian Couple Shot By “Fixated” Coast Guard Co-Worker, by Heather Hogan
8. Patricia Velásquez Is Gay: Latina Supermodel, Actress & Activist Comes Out In New Memoir, by Riese Bernard
9. Also.Also.Also: Your Girlfriend Kristen Stewart and Other Stories We Missed, by Laneia Jones
10. Your 2015 Gay Girl’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, by Heather Hogan

 

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Seven Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Laneia: My internet is being so cute and squirrelly! it’s like a 50s sitcom
Riese: Sounds a little claymationy
Laneia: No it’s black and white and with a trombone soundtrack

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Stef: Yo whoever just socialed the Gothip Girl, they weren’t on the beach, they were like at a party and on the street
I wish every single couple we discovered was on a beach but life is not always so generous
Riese: Apparently we really want all lesbian couples to be on the beach
Heather: Whoops!
I’ll fix that!
Riese: Maybe we are trying to manifest it
Stef: I hope they go to the beach soon
Heather: I wonder why my brain did that
Stef: I don’t think St Vincent likes the beach
Riese: She doesn’t seem beachy to me
She seems about as beachy as you, Stef
Stef: I would go boating with her maybe
I actually do like the beach, oddly enough
Riese: That is odd
you seem very not-beachy
Stef: I just hate sunshine and wearing a bathing suit

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Ali: Can someone explain to me why Taye Diggs started following me on Twitter?
Maddie: Wait this just happened to me too!!!
Ali: It has to be Fun Home related, then!
or his social media intern is an AS reader
Stef: Me too
I just thought maybe we were friends :disappointed:
Mey: Wait, Taye Diggs follows me too
Audrey: Me too!
Party!
Maddie: It looks like he follows hundreds of thousands of ppl
Stef: Is Taye Diggs a bot
Ali: Taye Diggs: Fan of Autostraddle
or rather Taye Diggs’s Intern: Fan of Autostraddle
or Taye Diggs Bot’s Algorithm: Fan of Autostraddle, because Stef is right. He kinda reads like a bot
Stef: Taye Diggs ebooks
Ali: It’s like horse ebooks, but with Rent lyrics sprinkled in
Stef: Should we invite Taye Diggs to Slack

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Rachel: I wish Tinkerbell had a diary series published on A+
Riese: Me too
Laneia: “my riese typed so many words today. i was proud of her but mad that we weren’t at the park. i love my window because i can see myself in it. i have a new plan for world domination and this time it has nothing to do with robots.”
Riese: “i love my window because i can see myself in it: the tinkerbell story”

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Maddie: I just awoke from a dream where Audrey, Carmen and I were going to run a race with a writer we were trying to recruit from Jezebel, and we were calling it the “bitchathon” and planning to make t-shirts
We also were planning this at an office we had on a beach
Cameron: I’d watch that TV series.
Recruits: Editors from queer indy media work to expand their team of writers for their web-publication, Autostraddle, aimed toward queer women. Hijinks ensue.
S01E01 Pilot: Bitchathalon
Stef: Carmen’s shirt is a crop top

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Stef: So they’re doing another Ghostbusters reboot starring men
Ummm
is Brittani in this one too
Mey: Cool. cool. We definitely need more Guy-Themed movies
Stef: Yeah it would be terrible if one female-driven movie made men feel uncomfortable about ghosts
Rachel: What if ghosts were no longer a safe space for men
Riese: Hahahaha you can have this life but the afterlife is allll ourrs motherfuckers

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Stef: Guys a commenter bitched me out for using the “f-bomb” in my playlist title and I cannot stop laughing
Mey: Well, Stef, this is a Christian website
Hannah: Sorry Stef I responded. I think I’m just bitter that this person clearly lives in Narnia while the rest of us are stuck in Hoth.
Stef: The IP address seemed to be from New York?! I love their hilarious vitriol
It sounds like my mom wrote it
Shit maybe it WAS my mom

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12 Important Excerpts From Conversations That Happened During The Advice-a-Thon

Brittani: I can’t answer anything that requires a soul
a girl ate mine
Riese: Was she vegan
the girl who ate your soul
what I’m asking is
is your soul vegan
and/or paleo
Brittani: My soul is for sure paleo
Laneia: Is your soul non gmo

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Ali: Okay, what did y’all want me to talk about? Squirting?
Riese: Yes
Rachel: I think you can just really go wild re: squirting
Ali: Gotcha
Rachel: Just go all out on the topic
Vikki: Wet and wild
Ali: I have a lot of feelings
Rachel: This is truly a match made in heaven, you and this question
Vikki: I feel like I’m learning a lot about Ali

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Kristin: Dannielle ask me a question about hula hooping before its too late
Laneia: Kristin if you don’t bring your hula hoop to camp I might have to make one for you out of tree branches
Kristin: LANEIA
AS IF I WOULD EVER
YOU KNOW IT COLLAPSES FOR EASY TRAVEL, RIGHT?
Ali: Wait, what about hula hooping at camp?
I go away to wash one load of dishes, and now I’m lost
Dannielle: I asked
Kristin: Thank you
Ali I’m a professional hula hooper
Dannielle: It’s a really good question
Laneia: We can hold a special luncheon for hula hooping and face cream
Kristin: Which means that I can do nothing except hula hoop forever
no tricks
just forever

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Heather: I really enjoyed answering the Harry Potter Cocktails question
Rachel: I wish you would make me a Harry Potter Cocktail
Heather: I know just the one!
Rachel: Or a regular cocktail would also be fine
honestly
at this point
Heather: Just a beer.
Half a beer.
Rachel: I would drink a bottle of grocery store vanilla

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Laneia: I did a dance so Megan would make me some nachos
just keeping you all abreast of my situation
Rachel: Oh that’s a slick move
I would never have thought of a dance
Djuan: You got nachos??? I don’t got no nachos!
Laneia: I don’t have them yet! I was just putting in my order
Dani: I have freshly baked chocolate chip banana bread! Wish I could trade you some for savory nachos, now I want nachos
Djuan: I just got cheetos and leftover spaghetti… that’s kind of like nachos, right?
Laneia: That is so close Djuan. It’s like nacho’s cousin
Dani: Postmodern nachos
Laneia: EVEN BETTER
Lizz: Chrissie is supposed to get me meat pies but she doesn’t love me enough
Laneia: Maybe Chrissie loves you too much to get you meat pies? Have you thought of it from this angle
Djuan: Meat pies just sounds like one of those things that probably shouldn’t be a thing.
Is it like, a turnover with meat instead of fruit???
Laneia: It’s like a pot pie, but you can hold it like a turnover! Like an empanada basically
Dani: Yeah, like empanada’s shy cousin that didn’t wanna get fried
Laneia: SHIT

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Mallory: How do I find unanswered ones? Like do I just… look for zero comments
I’M VERY SMART I WENT TO COLLEGE
Riese: Yes
Mallory: Ok great
Riese: I’m gonna ask “did Mallory Ortberg even go to college?”
You can answer that one
Mallory: I WENT TO CHRISTIAN COLLEGE RIESE
idk why I’m yelling
Riese: Wait sorry I mean “did mallory ortberg even go to college!!!!??!!!”

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Riese: Right now there is a show on KCSM called “My Girlfriend’s Quilt”
Brittani: Hahahaha
Riese: And the description is “women discuss their relationships with other women during this program, which includes musical performances by Valerie DeLaCruz (2004)”
Brittani: More like my girlfriend’s guilt AMIRITE
Riese: LADIES
Laneia: I just contracted menses from that description I hope you’re happy
Riese: I’M PLEASED
YOU LOVE MENSES
I hope YOU’RE happy
Laneia: That’s true I do
I am pleased

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Brittani: So how does this work, I just let Mallory do all the work, yeah?
Mallory: Hell yeah babe
I’m a flock of horses and a beautiful carriage or whatever
Just hop in and put your feet up
Laneia: BRITTANI are you so excited
Riese: You have to tweet your graphic brittani
for all of your twitter fans
like me
Brittani: I did!
Laneia: Winner!
Riese: Okay you can put your feet up then
Brittani: Yeah I don’t think anyone cares I’m doing this because the most powerful misandrist in the land is doing it so should be chill for me

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Aja: I want to tell a whole slew of kittens that it’s 100% okay to hang out in the Dead Black Hearts Club for as long as they need to, it’s totally okay. PART OF THE PROCESS, BBS.
Laneia: Yes that is very valid and real
Rachel: I wish there were shirts or varsity jackets for the Dead Black Hearts Club
It would make being there more appealing
Laneia: AMEN

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Anabel: “plz can someone solve the eternal mystery of why Autostraddle is called Autostraddle”
^^^^ i wanna know this too
Lizz: It’s called Autostraddle because one time Riese was in an automobile and had a nine-person orgy
but because there were sooo many people in the car
they had to straddle each other in order to even reach everyone
so they joked that their car was “The Autostraddle”
Riese: That’s true
Lizz: 100% fact
Anabel: Awesome! Finally I know! I will go ahead and write that
I hope it’s 100% true
I believe it
Riese: It’s also like that song about not caring
where I crashed my car into a bridge
and was like “I don’t care, I love it”
and then I made a website
Mari: <3

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Laneia: Mallory I support you in all things but how do you not have instagram
Mallory: Idk
It just never happened
And then I sort of
Carried on with living my life
Brittani: Can I make you a fake Instagram
Mallory: You have my blanket permission to do anything for to and about me

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Lizz: If we had thought this through better someone could have responded to advice as A
Rachel: Would all of A’s advice be like “stand right in front of the open window. yes, right there. now turn to face forward and expose your vital organs please.”
Lizz: I just feel like all of A’s advice would be in all caps
and end “BTW I KNOW EVERYTHING —A”
…should we just create an account now…
Rachel: Don’t pretend like you haven’t already made one, Lizz
Lizz: I already have my black hoodie on

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Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Jenn, Grey’s Anatomy Recapper

 

Tumblr: lovejennimichaels.tumblr.com
Twitter: @editorjenn

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The cookie. A cookie can mean love and a cookie can mean affection and a cookie can mean condolences and a cookie can simply mean I need a cookie, which is my default standard of being.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
I’m some sort of Joey Tribbiani/Buddy the Elf hybrid when it comes to sandwiches. I LOVE SANDWICHES SANDWICHES ARE MY FAVORITE. If we’re counting burgers, there’s a place in Astoria called Oliver’s that does a burger with bacon, cheddar cheese, avocado, and a chipotle aioli that is absolute heaven. I would stare God in the face and moonwalk into hell for one of those.

If we’re not counting burgers, roast beef and swiss with loads of pickles and spicy mustard. Just gobs of mustard. I’m also a complete sucker for a standard PB&J, but with plain potato chips shoved right in the middle.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I went to my Senior Homecoming with a boy named Kenneth. It was raining, and the blade on one of his windshield wipers had broken on the way to my house — genuinely broken completely off — so the entire way to the restaurant, and then the entire way to the dance, the whole car was filled with the SCREECH SCREECH SCREECH of the metal wiper against the glass of the windshield. The dance itself was fine, but then afterwards we went to a party at his house.

Right, okay, so you know how at high school parties, there is always one girl who gets really, really drunk really, really early, and ends up barfing in or on or around something she should not barf in or on or around? The girl at this party barfed on Kenneth’s drum set which, whatever. But then about an hour after that, I realized I’d lost track of Kenneth, so I asked someone where he was. The guy said “Uh…..” and darted a glance at Kenneth’s room. I pushed the door open and found Kenneth literally in the throes with the drum barfer girl, his white little ass in the air.

He added me on Facebook a couple of years ago. No, Kenneth. Absolutely not.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Yonks ago, I had a vibrator called a tulip. I bought it for like, fourteen bucks and I can’t even remember what brand it was, but it had seven settings and the highest one would knock paint off the walls. Wham bam thank you ma’am.

What’s your #1 turn-on?
Humor. I love people who are genuinely funny, and I especially love people who can be genuinely funny about themselves. Humans are so weird. If you can’t laugh at yourself, please be somewhere that is not the place where I am.

What’s your #1 turn-off?
Alpha energy. Gross.

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE KINDER EGGS?

Brittani: Is this Advice-a-Thon Skype chat supposed to be just my stream of consciousness OR WHAT
Laneia: CORRECT
Also if you’re eating a snack we like to hear about it
Brittani: I am petting a dog
Laneia: If a dog has fallen in your vicinity. If a sound is funny.
all those things
GOOD GOOD YES
Lydia: I’m eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos that my BFF got me in ‘merica
I’m deeply grateful
You Americans have it soooo good with the snacks YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW
We *just* got the jalepeno ones
Like within the last year
Laneia: Lydia you Canadians have kinder eggs so I can’t even talk about it
Lydia: YOU DONT HAVE KINDER EGGS?
Carolyn: WHAT
Lydia: DONT YOU HAVE KINDER SURPRISE?!?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Laneia: NO WE DON’T HAVE KINDER EGGS THEY’RE OUTLAWED
Lydia: Small parts and little kids?
Cause of the toy?
Carolyn: I knew about the Cadbury situation but this is a travesty
Laneia: They’re afraid our stupid fucking kids will eat the toys
Brittani: I don’t have a snack but I just came from dinner at a vegan restaurant where there were no less than four lesbian couples
Lydia: Well done Brittani
Laneia: B that’s gayer than anything
That’s gayer than sex
Lydia: I actually still can’t believe that they took Kinder away from you…

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Flashback: March 2009

We celebrated our sixth birthday on March 9th, 2015. Remember when we were just tiny little monsters trying to make our way through the web? Here, maybe this will jog your memory.

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Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us

Do you have burning questions about what the fuck is going on around here, Doris? Ask us — just use the A+ priority contact form in your sidebar. All questions answered by Riese unless otherwise indicated.

So I finally finally caught up on reading Autostraddle articles, and so only found out that Laneia is getting married! And why I am sharing this, is that I was just sitting on the couch in front of the teev reading this, and I teared up a bit with a stupid grin on my face, and my housemate asked if I was okay, and without thinking, blurted out ‘someone I know is getting married’. And I sort of caught myself halfway, but finished saying it anyway, then realised I don’t know you at all, not really. But biggest biggest congratulations nonetheless, from across the world, through a computer screen and via an anonymous submit contact box. xx
Hello I’m Laneia and this is the best message I’ve ever seen because it’s exactly how I feel about you!!

dear riese, i have been reading your glee recaps every morning over coffee once a week since they began (despite never once watching a full episode of the show). thanks for your time, patience and humour… it really was something, wasn’t it? it’s hard to watch television fly out the window but thank gd they did get a few things right. Also, the parts when you are completely unimpressed with the show and you’re forced to recap them are totally the best. xxx
Thank you, dear friend! It WAS really something, thank you for sticking with it. I hope that if anything bad ever happens to you at The Gap, a bunch of gay boys burst into the room and start singing a mediocre pop song to you. Bless you.

I don’t know if my lesbian carrier pigeon got lost or what but apparently Whitney Mixter cut all her dreads off like a year ago!? I think she looks like an adorable nephew whose head I want to ruffle with my knuckles whereas my girlfriend who loved the dreads thinks Whitney has totally lost the power of the clam. Thoughts?
DING DONG THE DREADLOCKS ARE DEAD, DING DONG THE WICKED DREADS ARE DEEEEAADDDDDD!! Really glad she got rid of the dreadlocks. Definitely on team NO DREADLOCKS. Let me know if you ever succeed w/r/t ruffling her head with your knuckles, I think that’d make a good gif.

Ugh AS i am depressed again and it is SO BORING. i am so bored and sad. also it is so cold that i am wearing a hat in bed to stop myself getting an ear ache. ear ache?! INSIDE??? its ridiculous.

Heather is going to answer this for you!

Friend! Sweet friend! Hopefully you’re not still sitting in bed wearing a hat, because hopefully it’s warming up at least a little bit, so hopefully you can get outside and get some sun/vitamin D, which will go a long, long way toward combating that depression. Listen, I won’t lie to you, therapy therapy therapy is the very best way to dig in there and do the hard work of getting happy. And sometimes prescription medicines are a part of that. But there are a zillion other things you can do to start fighting off that depression yourself, even though fighting is the last thing you want to do. (But you CAN DO IT! I believe in you!) Sunlight! Get some of it! And if you can’t, start taking a vitamin D supplement. Exercise, do it! Even if it’s just a five-minute walk and a five-minute yoga video from the YouTubes! Sleep enough (but not too much)! Find out how much sleep your body needs, and make sure you are getting that exact amount. Skip the booze and double the water. Eat a lot of green things. Talk to at least one person IRL about what’s going on with you so you can start setting up a support network. Set small goals, and celebrate yourself when you achieve them. Try to be at least a little social. And mostly remember that The Fosters theme song applies to how we feel about you: You’re surrounded by love and you’re wanted, so never feel alone! You are home with is, right where you belong!

Oh gosh. I just won a bronze membership this week (thank you!!!!) and had been submitting a few suggestions for topics of future AS articles in the Contact Box here. Imagine my introvert consternation when I read the first A+ Insider article (you people are the funniest and best) and those Contact Box submissions are PUBLISHED and you went to the trouble of RESPONDING TO EACH ONE. I thought they just went to the AS editors cyber-ether, not actually published, and maybe there would be a pm response when warranted? My bad. But to follow-up: I’m too shy to actually msg an editor directly; it’s more comfortable to send an idea to a group, you know? So, would it be possible to just indicate ‘anonymous’ or ‘pls don’t put on A+ Insider’ if I wanted to msg the genius lot of you via the Contact Box? It’s cool if not. Thanks! Kanye West talking about AS east coast camp made my heart sing and chortle.
Welcome to A+! The A+ Priority Contact box serves a few purposes — it’s often tips, suggestions or other niceities that are sent right to the person and absorbed into their brainspace and utilized but not shared here, and the e-mail address associated with the comment shows up to us personally in the forwarded e-mail. If it’s a question that requires a response, either we answer it here or we answer it in a You Need Help. Nobody’s identity is ever revealed publicly. I also don’t know who asked any of the questions I answer here, ’cause Yvonne just pastes them into this post without any names attached. Like I have no idea what your name is or who you are or what your hair looks like or if you paint your toenails or if you’ve ever wondered if Naughty Nautical is the same color as Ruffles and Feathers, but glittery?

Dear staff, My wife wants to know IF she can get a camp shirt when I go to camp. Is there one for sale? Willing to pay because I don’t want to give up my acamp shirt. She’s already taken my You Do You one hostage
We used to order extras and try to sell them but they never sold super-well so we stopped — buttt just email alex [at] autostraddle.com and tell her your wife’s t-shirt size and we’ll order one for her and you can pay us for it at A-Camp. HOW DOES THAT SOUND.

Okay, so, genuinely curious as to how AS has been missing out on even mentioning that the lead character of one of the best TV shows is officially a bisexual woman? The 100. C’mon. Even just a review article like the one on Ilana from Broad City would be fine, but it’s been disappointing seeing the lack of coverage on here for such a huge deal.
Hello! The Broad City article was only able to be written because I’d watched the entirety of Broad City already — if I hadn’t, putting that “review article” together would’ve taken 3-4 days. That’s the thing with The 100 — none of us had seen it, and Heather and I hadn’t had the time to watch it. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I have five jobs here at this website and it takes a lot of time! But WE ARE FIXING OURSELVES. I’m already onto Season Two, Rachel marathoned the whole thing this past weekened and Rachel’s gonna write about it and also we addressed The 100 in this and then again here and then again here! I also think doing these A&E fixes will ensure I’m up-to-date on relevant queer storylines and stuff, because honestly I had not heard of The 100 until this question.

Does anyone else just really love Celine Dion? I made a Celine Powerjams playlist on Spotify and it’s been helping me power through all the shit I’ve been procrastinating and also I feel TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL WITH LOVE
I feel like Celene Dion is really rich and therefore she must have a lot of fans, right? Which means there must be people who really love Celene Dion right here on this website. In 11th grade my roommate played the Titanic soundtrack pretty much all day every day nonstop, so that’s where I stand on that.

DAMN I wish I had asked this during the advice-a-thon yesterday but OMG IM MOVING TO VANCOUVER and I’m wondering if any straddlers have advice on where to live/how to live there?? (I already read the city guide, I need moooore). I wish we had a forum for these kinds of things…

Lydia is going to answer this question for you!

Hello fellow Autostraddler! I’m excited to hear that there will be another one of us on the Wet Coast! As a resident Vancouverite (transplanted, but Vancouverite nonetheless), I have a few words for you about livin’ that sweet West Coast queer life. Do keep in mind this is 100% my personal experience.

If you are looking for inexpensive housing, my recommendation would be the East Side. In my four plus years residing here, I’ve only lived on the East side. Home to families, up and coming artsy types and students alike, the area is growing in popularity. Granted, Vancouver is notoriously expensive to live in, and although east Van can be affordable, the price range for suites varies greatly. I’d recommend (if possible) checking out a couple of places of similar sizes, as you might find a hidden deal.

In regards to finding other queers, my greatest advice would be join group activities. Sports, parties, poetry readings, knitting circles, what have you. Vancouver can be a bit.. tough to make friends in, and I finally gained a queer social circle by going to things! Commericial Drive has a large queer contingent, and there are many happenings on a weekly basis (often posted on lightposts and electrical poles). Check out the event listings on Xtra for events. There are several monthly gatherings/parties gaining ground in the queer scene. Poking around Facebook is actually a pretty decent way to find things. Give the Vancouver Autostraddlers group a try! There are often posting about things in and around the city. There is a bounty of queer sports, too! Mabel League, East Van Hoops and Double Rainbow Dodgeball are just a few of the LBGTQ sportz that we have to offer.

As mentioned in the previous Vancouver guide there are no strictly lesbian bars in Vancouver. Despite this, it is generally a tolerant and accepting city to be “out” in. There are several parties/gatherings etc for queer identified folks, if going out is your thing. My current favourite queer party is Denim Vest, which is fairly new! Happening on what seems to be a quarterly basis, it’s a dance-until-you-can’t-dance-no-more, sweaty free for all. I consistently have a great time, and I’ve spied many a cutie on the dancefloor (if that’s what you are lookin’ for)! The Cobalt is my jam as far as queer-friendly bars go. They hold several LBGTQ events a month, including Ponyboy’s Man Up.

As far as food goes, I honestly cannot begin to suggest places to eat. There are SO many great eateries, restaurants, artisanal ice cream shoppes and the ilk in Vancouver. It’s a foodie’s dream! Affordable, diverse and expansive, there are soooo many delicious treats in Vancity.

Let us know in the comments if there are any specific aspects you are curious about, hopefully I can answer them!

I watched the first season of The L Word then stopped. Am I missing out or is that fine?
I think you’re fine, girl, I think you’re a fine girl. Also, I’ve written a guide to watching The L Word for the first time if you’re interested.

My girlfriend was wondering if you could get the “Misandry” shirt in a men’s crew-neck style. She wants one but doesn’t like the fitted v-neck because she’s butch and prefers something that will fit her shoulders/not show off her sports bra.
This is an interesting idea what do the people think about this idea?

Dear contact box, I want to wish the site a very happy 6th birthday. This site makes my heart grow big and warm and fuzzy all over. And I love all of you and look forward to seeing you all on the mountain!
Thank you! I look forward to seeing YOU on the mountain!

Happy birthday!!!!!! Six exclamation marks(or points, I’m never quite sure) for six queertastic years. Thank you for keeping me somewhat acceptably okay in the bad times and for teaching me about toeing in the good times. It’s six in the morning pre-coffee, so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, just wanted to make sure I had time to wish this glorious website a happy birthday before I’m stuck in class all day. Thanks for everything and HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
THANK YOU HAPPY FUCKING DAY TO YOU! I want you to know that your message makes PERFECT sense and don’t you ever let anybody tell you otherwise, okay?

If I can only afford a subscription to one ethical porn site, how do I decide? Can you/Did you already do an article summarizing the content of some of the queer porn options out there?
Yvonne also sent this question to Carolyn and maybe she will have more words to say but Ali also wrote a great post you might like called The Quest For Awesome Queer Feminist Porn!

I can’t wait for some studio/independent film company/ragtag gang of hot movie-loving people to create a Boyhood-inspired movie called Boihood
Well, this was one of my most popular Instagram photos, so I think there’s definitely a market for it.

Are you guys going to have International Meetup Week before Pride? I think it would be good to have one in May so people get to know each other in a low key environment and then another one in June/July for Pride.
This sounds like a question for CARMEN RIOS. I like this idea.

Could there be a bisexual-themed playlist?
Oh this is a cute idea! I made a bisexual playlist once when I was writing that book about bisexuality. I feel like it included I Do Both Jay and Jane (La Rissa), In Or Out (Ani DiFranco) and AC/DC (Joan Jett) … maybe we’ll think about this a bit!

A thousand thank yous every day for Autostraddle! You are keeping my poor bisexual-but-mainly-gay-but-currently-dating-a-boy-and-having-doubts-and-wondering-how-to-end-it heart still beating! So thank you, thank you, thank you, for being my connection to the lovely queerness that is the Autostraddle community! I’m sorry, this isn’t a question, a tip, or a request for advice – unless of course you know an easy way to tell your loving, kind, caring, and oh-so-supportive live-in boyfriend of two years that you may really be a lesbian, and not bisexual, after all. In which case, please help!
Hello! I think @paper0flowers and @creatrixtiara might have some helpful words for you, actually — also, Rachel answers a very similar question in You Need Help: Where Do I Go From Here?. You could also maybe check out How To Leave Your Husband (Because You’re A Lesbian).

Roundtable about when you all knew you were officially adults because am i? are we? Lets discuss please.
This roundtable is presently IN PROGRESS.

Is it pretty morbid (is is isn’t it?) of me to want an “Interview with my ex girlfriend” where the break up was the BEST thing that could’ve happened to both of you, cause one is a leftie and the other is a rightie (politically) and you were so wildly different you can’t even understand how you dated for so long, and the relationship was violent and the break up was violent and the interview might be a little violent… (not physically) and you’re both moved on and married and really glad to not be there anymore, and definitely NOT friends. I feel like it could be funny in a kind of uncomfortable way, but also kind of real. I maybe volunteer.
Just to be clear here: are you asking for yourself, or are you asking for a friend?

My girlfriend and I are heading to Seattle in July, and we were planning on staying in the Capitol Hill area. My cousin who lives out there just told me we may want to avoid that area because there have been an increase in hate crimes there. Hate crimes are absolutely serious and we want to be smart and cautious, but we also don’t want to plan our entire vacation around this – unless we SHOULD. Can anyone on the Autostraddle team address this issue and shed some light on the situation? Or has there been a something written about this already and I’ve missed it? Any help would be awesome – thank you!
Definitely do not plan your entire vacation around this! That’s how the terrorists win, Lorna. But I’m gonna have Intern Nikki, who lived in Seattle for six months (June 2014 – December 2014) to answer this for you:

“I did not live in the Capitol Hill area but sorta nearby. I lived in a more dangerous part of Seattle but there have been known issues in the Capitol Hill area especially against people who identify in the lgbtq area. I really enjoyed Capitol Hill, it is a great area. It is the place to go for night life and is the gayest even though I have been told the number of lgbtq people who live in the Capitol Hill area is dwindling. Seattle is a great city, i loved my time there. idk, I don’t want to be like hey go there and then something happens. I would feel horrible. Normally what I would tell people staying in the hostel that I lived and worked in when asked about safety I would say just be smart. Be aware of your surroundings. Otherwise some other fun areas are Fremont and Ballard – those are about a 15 minute bus ride from the downtown area.”

Have you considered having sponsored posts in Autostraddle? As long as they’re clearly labeled as such, I don’t think anyone would mind. We want you to make enough money to survive and sponsored posts seem like a way to charge higher rates (ones written by the sponsor although if you wanted to charge exorbitant rates for one written by staff i think that would be fine too, as long as they’re labeled as such). This is something that a lot of other sites that I read do, including the Toast, the Atlantic and Slate, so it would be pretty on par with other online publications.
Indeed, we do publish sponsored posts (always clearly marked as such!). That’s sort of like asking a restaurant if they’ve considered selling beverages! You can’t sell advertising today to anybody without it involving sponsored posts these days, and we’ve done a lot of them, some of which are on this page. We refuse to lie to you, ever, so we only do them if we genuinely believe in the product we’re stumping for, but like all advertising they don’t come our way too frequently. Also, a lot of our readers get very mean about us doing sponsored posts! We did one on ob tampons and everybody yelled at us and it made us feel despondent. I was being honest, I really do feel those feelings about ob tampons. I HAVE ONE INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW.

Is this contact box anonymous?
It is not anonymous, but usually only Yvonne knows who wrote it because it is Yvonne who takes them from that box and puts them into this box. That’s also how lesbians have sex!

Laneia, I had the best idea. 50 Shades of Red. Anastasia realizes that Christian Grey is an abusive fuck-up, leaves him, and goes on a crusade against the patriarchy. On the way, she has a big queer awakening and falls in love with a girl who actually knows how to treat other human beings. Does this count as a hot tip? I don’t want to abuse the Priority Contact Box. I just thought this would make you laugh. :)
LANEIA HERE. YES PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN. And this is definitely a hot tip because it’s hot and also it’s just the tip. JUST THE TIP WILL NEVER GET OLD EVER.

I’m about to graduate with my Master of Architecture and head into the workforce at a traditional firm. As with lawyers and other occupations that enforce a “professional” attire, architecture firms have some of the same archaic notions of how women should dress. So, my question: how does one dress and style “tomboy professional?”
Well, you’re in luck because Gabrielle Korn, who is now a famous editor at Nylon Magazine, did AN ENTIRE SERIES called Lez Get Dressed For Work that will likely have lots of advice for you. You might also check out the Dapper Q posts or the Queer Outfit of the Week posts. If those don’t cure what ails you then let us know and we’ll do a new post!

My gf just messaged me about a couple of our friends who’re on again/off again, saying “can’t stand for myself but they do they” and I just snorted out loud and figured you guys would also appreciate “they do they”. Just struck me that maybe this is one of those things that is cute to me because ~~looove~~ but I’m sending this anyway because I already typed it out so YOU’RE WELCOME
THANK YOU, LORNA

I’m loving all the new “you need help” articles – I feel like we get to know you all better, like we’re just a bunch of friends with great hair having coffee at the best queer girl coffee shop on the internet. So anyways thanks for being you!
Thank YOU for being YOU and remembering that I always take cream.

Some of my co-workers told me that your brain can run out of your nose and that might be what’s happening to you if you think you have a cold, and now I’m having a hard time moving on with my life. Help?
I think what you have to do is take a look at what’s coming out of your nose and ask yourself if that material looks more like throat-stuff or like brain-stuff. Here’s what a brain looks like, for your reference:

If what is coming out of your nose looks like it could be a chunk of brain, then just be really delicate with each chunk as it comes out of your nose and start storing all the brain parts in your Caboodles, and when you’re done with your “cold,” have somebody drive you to the doctor to stick the brain pieces back into your brain via nose. Hope that helps!

While doing a reading for my historiographic essay on progressivism: “[Victoria Richardson] went to teach at Livingstone college when it opened in 1880. She stayed a lifetime, teaching music and building the library. With her warm friend Mary Lynch, Richardson set an example of ‘finer womanhood’ for Livingstone’s women students. ‘Saved’ from love, Richardson never married.” So what you’re really trying to tell me, textbook, is that she was a total lesbian. Can we make “warm friend” the new “gal pal”?
Oh wow WARM FRIEND I love WARM FRIEND so much! It’s probably another way of saying “romantic friend” like they used to say back in the day.

I just saw this on tumblr and I thought you guys would appreciate it for some reason? You’re…welcome?
Do you think it’s possible that the cockatoo is Alex Vega?

I know Annika and Sebastian haven’t written in a long time, and have sort of left Autostraddle, but I think an article from the both of them just updating their life would be really awesome. I miss reading their work and I’m lots of other people do too. Would that be possible?

What are Annika and Sebastian up to? Can we maybe get a follow up with them? That article they wrote about losing/gaining male privilege as they transitioned was one of the most interesting things I have ever read online, not just about about trans* issues but in general.

Well, Lorna and Mildred, I really liked those articles a whole lot too. Annika decided to leave the internet in February 2013, which’s when we launched trans*scribe in hopes of finding new trans women to write for us and we did! I think Sebastian just launched a new blog about trans psychology that you should check out.

Sometimes I think I should break up with my fiancé but it makes no sense cause I love her so much and we’re really happy. Explain?
SHANE DON’T YOU DARE STAND CARMEN UP AT THE ALTAR

I just booked my A-camp flights! Where’s the best place to look for other A-campers to make pre-camp plans with? It would be nice to find company for the 11+ hour flight…
Probably the A-Camp Social Group on Facebook?

Is there an article / list that exists along the lines of “things people who don’t know what autostraddle is will think autostraddle is when you mention it reverently in casual conversation?” If not, I think that could be funny. I was talking to someone about autostraddle without explaining what it meant and apparently she thought I was just REALLY into talking about horseback riding on the internet, so.
Have you ever been to Italy? I think our name is especially confusing to Italians.

Can someone explain the difference between soft/hard femme/butch? I know “femme” and “butch” and the gender identity/expression spectrum, but the soft/hard bit is confusing me. #babyqueerproblems (speaking of which when the fuck are you no longer considered a babyqueer?!)
Have you ever gone tofu shopping, Lorna? It’s sort of like that.

Our dear friend at the This is Hard Femme tumblr recently explained “hard femme” like this: “Hard femme, to me, is a queer person who is femme, meaning presents on the feminine side of the gender spectrum, but has some serious edge to them. The edge can be in their personality, like sass or purposeful arrogance or toughness, or it can be in their makeup and clothes choices – spikes, pleather/leather, elements of grunge, punk, or goth. Usually there is some countercultural feel to a hard femme’s presentation. And sometimes it’s a combination of “harder” personality traits with “harder” dress and makeup.”

As for soft butch, I think that definition varies widely! I think it’s often defined in relation to an idea of “butch” as 100% “masculine” — no makeup, men’s haircut, men’s clothing, no grooming of body hair, being very muscled or burly. Like kd Lang or Lea DeLaria. Whereas a “soft butch” might have a more tomboyish style or might have some more “feminine” or androgynous aspects to their presentation, like makeup, wearing “women’s” jewelry or wearing women’s pants. Like Ellen DeGeneres or Jenny Shimizu or Charice.

These are all massive generalizations though, I’m sure everybody has a definition for these terms that bare little resemblance to the ones I just made!

 

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MINI-INTERVIEW WITH AN EDITOR: BRITTANI, COMEDY AND SPORTS EDITOR

What do you do in your job?
Presently? Not much.

What is your vision for the section?
My vision is that we’re ahead of the comedic curve and put people on to new shows, people, podcasts, ideas, etc. that appeal to queer women before they blow up.

What would be your dream pitch?
Any list that’s random, funny, and deeply personal. Basically a list only the person writing it could make.

What’s the hardest part?
When people comment without reading the article.

Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
All the Autostraddle mainstays. Autostraddle is the only site I’ve consistently read since college.

What do you wish people understood about your job?
I would prefer people stay as confused as possible.

Favorite snack to eat while working?
Entire meals. I don’t really snack much but I rarely eat anymore without also being on the computer.

What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?
Right now, Kamandi – Smoke Club because I’ve been listening to that album while I work for the past ten weeks.

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Yvonne Saves The Day In Heather’s Dream

Welcome to Yvonne saves the day, a new feature in which we remember when Yvonne saved the day.

Heather: Yvonne, I dreamed you were the governor of Texas last night
Yvonne: Whatt? I would not want that job
Heather: I know! That’s what you said in the dream! but you got elected anyway, and you were like, “Fine. The first thing we’re doing is getting accurate history books for schools.”
Yvonne: YESS

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Your Monthly Infographic About You

Numbers taken from the 2014 Autostraddle Reader Survey!

 

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March Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Marches Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Crystal-on-Deanne-Smith: Queer “Last Comic Standing” Alum Lacks Focus, Has Shiny Hair (2009), by Crystal – Did you know that we interviewed Deanne Smith like a million years ago? Before she became a columnist, A-Camp superstar and Tiny Pineapple enthusiast, she was just this cool comedian who agreed to do an interview with us!

Transportation Review: Amtrak Coast Starlight to Los Angeles (2011), by Riese- Remember that time I took a train to Dinah Shore? That was a mistake.

50 Queer Women With Outrageously Good Hair (2012), by Lizz – “Sometimes lesbians have bad hair. There, I said it. It’s okay though, because actually sometimes all sorts of people have bad hair. Luckily, sometimes all sorts of people also have good hair. And lesbians just happen to be all sorts of people. Wow, look at that.” Thanks Lizz!

Eleven Things You Wish You Knew About Honeybees (2012), by Laura Wooley – I remember Laura being surprised when we enthusiastically supported this pitch with all our hearts and souls.

Playlist: To Be An Emotionally Intense ’90s Woman (2013), by Laneia – Laneia made a special collage for this playlist, that’s how special it is. IT’S JUST SO SPECIAL.

Call and Response: On Body Snarking and the Word Tr*nny (2013), by Cora and Mey – It was really amazing to be able to make this post happen. The intro is so cute because I’m talking about Mey like she’s this stranger you don’t know AND NOW YOU DO!

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

1. Remembering $PREAD Magazine in a City Once Synonymous With Sex Work by Leah

I feel so lucky to have read this post! It does not come as a surprise that many of us here at Autostraddle, a magazine, are fascinated by other magazines and their history. I’m especially fascinated by magazines and publications that are specifically by and for marginalized groups, and as a child of the millennial space age, it feels kind of crazy to imagine those magazines ever actually being in print rather than digging out a niche in the wild west of the Internet. Which is all a way to say it made me really emotional to read about what $PREAD was and did, and I want to buy the anthology but even if you can’t do that you should at least read this article!

2. Rebel Girls: Consider This Your Women’s Herstory Month Syllabus by Carmen

I do not feel that I’m being hyperbolic when I say this post is a GODDAMN TREASURE. For real you’re gonna click on this link and open it and be like Oh! Oh. You could spend hours and hours clicking through and reading all these links and watching all the things you can watch and there would STILL BE MORE. You could get up and make a plate of nachos and then eat the nachos at a leisurely pace while you watch an episode of Broad City and then come back to the post and lo, still there would be more! Truly your cup runneth over with awesome herstory education in this post, and goodness and feminist mercy will follow you all the days of your life, amen.

3. TransBlack and Beautiful: Acknowledging My Authentic Revolutionary by L’lerrét Jazelle Ailith

This article is so smart and incisive and honest and I appreciate it so much! As marginalized people our bodies are so often turned into the canvases upon which cultural values and messages get inscribed, and the more axes of oppression we deal with the more confusing, contradictory and frenetic those messages can become; it’s often difficult to untangle it all and figure out where our own selves really are. I am really grateful to L’lerrét for doing the labor of examining some of that stuff on the page, and letting all of us benefit from it.

4. “Post Traumatic Super Delightful” Uses Laughter To Talk About Campus Sexual Assault by Hannah

Honestly I don’t really understand anything about theater. Usually when I read something about it I feel like Grandpa Simpson yelling at a cloud. I was fascinated while I was editing this, though, and would like very much to see this play. But what’s super amazing is that I think this piece gives us a lot to think about in terms of what the play is doing and how we tend to talk about these experience both in art and in everyday conversation, so that even if you never get to see this play you can still be thinking about what it responds to in a different way than if you never heard about it at all. Does that make sense. Anyways I really think you should read this piece, it will stimulate both your brain and your heart in ways that are healthful and invigorating.

5. Cote v. Walmart: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Workplace Discrimination by KaeLyn

Well the story of what this couple is facing is fucking heartbreaking, so there’s that. But even beyond what’s a really moving portrait of what “for better or for worse, in sickness or in health” really means, this is an excellent case in point about both why same-sex marriage and the attendant rights really are important AND why just having same-sex marriage equality isn’t enough. If Cote & Smithson win their case, it will be a major legal precedent for same-sex couples, but it will also be a reminder that there are a lot more battles to be won. Feel vague on what exactly all that means? I have great news, reading this piece will explain it all very well!

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Laura Mandanas’s Review of All Coconut Beverages In A Five Minute Walking Radius Of Her Apartment

Salutti – Whenever I read preservatives in ingredient lists, I picture myself being mummified from the inside out. Full of cobwebs and moths. This coconut water did nothing to distract me from that image.

Pearl Royal – Stronger coconut flavor than Salutti, but still very mild. Cute pretend-coconut packaging, but tricky to get into. (So, highly realistic?)

Taoro – Super sweet. It’s like someone soaked dried coconut in milk, then diluted it with water. The pulp is kind of gross, but I like watching it swirl around in the glass bottle.

Vita Coco – Tastes like grass and hot dog water. Blech.

Coco libre Pure Organic Coconut Water – Tastes like lead. This is terrible. Packaging says: “We are liberating organic coconut water trapped inside young green coconuts.” This is not the liberation I signed up for.

Goya Unsweetened Coconut Water – Slightly less sweet than Pearl Royal. But really, this isn’t much of an improvement over tap water. Not worth money when tap water comes free.

Taste Nirvana Real Coconut Water/Pulp – Tastes the most like coconut water that came straight from a coconut.

Foco Coconut Juice – Great! Lots of pulp. Very tasty. Contains only 80% juice but I don’t think I care.

Purity Organic Coconut Water – Meh. It has a citric acid flavor to it, not sweet at all.

Kevita Sparkling Probioti Drink: Mojita lime mint coconut – Looks like soda and it says “mojita” on it, so I don’t know why it’s so disgusting. It’s like someone noticed a rat swimming in the punch bowl, threw up in it, then served it. Nothing could convince me to drink this again.

Conclusion: There are too many coconut water-drinking hipsters in Brooklyn. Nobody needs this many coconut drinks. Nobody.

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Carolyn’s Sex Toy Recommendation Of The Month

We’ve written before about Njoy Pure Plugs and specifically how fantastic they are (“nothing, and I mean nothing, feels as smooth as stainless steel on your asshole”) but it bears repeating: they are fantastic. The plugs come in three sizes — 1 inch, 1.25 inches and 1.5 inches. They’re smooth stainless steel, so they’re cool to the touch until your body temperature warms them up (though you can also change the temperature by running them under hot or cool water). They’re also heavy for their sizes, weighing 5, 7 or 11 ounces (to compare, the Bootie, another favorite and in silicone, weighs 2.9 ounces), and the cool weight is very apparent and different from plugs made of other materials, not to mention loads of fun.

The shapes are also gorgeous — curved a little instead of straight, which works nicely with bodies, with tips big enough to keep the plugs in place on their own but small enough that the flared ends can be both safe and unobtrusive.
Use them with any type of lube you want, wash them with antimicrobial soap or in boiling water or in the dish washer, and just try to resist displaying them in the living room.

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WE’RE SUPER BUSY AND IMPORTANT

Sometimes the people who work here do cool shit! This month, Yvonne went to the 2015 LGBT Media Journalists Convening from March 13- 15 in Philadelphia and now she’s gonna tell you all about it!

I felt like a special snowflake two weekends ago when I had the opportunity to attend the 2015 LGBT Media Journalists Convening in Philadelphia. Every year the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association hosts this weekend-long conference and invites LGBT journalists, bloggers, writers and media makers to come together to learn and strengthen our skills so we can deliver the best coverage of LGBT issues. I learned, I gained new perspectives, I networked, I tweeted, I listened, I talked and had the GAYEST time in Philly. It really was the best!

I had a 6 a.m. flight to Philly on Friday — this is key information to know because you will soon find out I had to power through the day without a pause till 10 p.m. Once I landed and was on my way to the hotel in the City Center, I was fascinated by the buildings. I’ve lived my entire life in Texas and have only visited the East Coast twice before so I don’t get to see historic buildings everyday.

Once I got settled in my hotel room, I headed out to hang out with Contributing Editor Maddie, who lives in Philly. She was an amazing hostess! We had lunch at a nearby place called Hip City Veg; it was indeed very hip, very city, very veg — I highly recommend it. Maddie’s queer bff, Zoe, was also visiting for the weekend so we picked her up from the airport and went on our merry way to Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens, which is this super cool art gallery with a fully-mosaicked “labyrinth garden.”

My favorite part of that day was when Maddie took us to Giovanni’s Room, the oldest gay bookstore in the country. I was relieved to know it was still open after reading about its impending closure. (Actually, it did close on May 17, 2014, but Philly AIDS Thrift swooped in and signed a two-year agreement to own Giovanni’s Room. Now they sell used and new books and other items you might find at a thrift store.) I couldn’t leave the store without buying something to support it, so I bought Jam on the Vine based on Ali’s recommendation. I think the fact that Giovanni’s Room is a historic LGBT space and that it’s still open, made my visit that much more special.

In the evening, I donned my very best business casual outfit and finally headed to the Comcast Center for the opening reception. By this point y’all, I was so exhausted; I had traveled and walked all day but I did my best to meet the extraordinary people attending the conference. Do y’all know how hard it is to hold a wine glass, eat tiny appetizers and talk to people without spilling anything or looking like a fool? It is super hard, just fyi.

The keynote speaker for the night was Rev. William Barber, an activist and political leader behind North Carolina’s Moral Mondays and a NAACP national board member. He mainly talked about how all marginalized groups: immigrants, poor people, people of color, LGBTQ people, women, etc. all need to work together to fight the religious right that is behind oppressive legislation. All I remember was saying YES and TRUTH in my head but being too weary to put words together for Twitter.

The majority of Saturday was dedicated to panels and breakout sessions. The theme of the conference was “now what?” in which we explored what happens to the LGBT rights movement after we’ve won marriage equality. Pshh, I know, dear Autostraddle friends, you are very smart and know that there’s still so, so, so much work to do. The panels focused on the danger of “religious liberty” laws, diverse storytelling, talking about race, improving the coverage of bisexuals, accurately reporting about HIV, and talking about labels and identities. My main takeaway from the conference is that LGBT media need to tell more diverse stories within our own community, we need to really humanize the people in our stories so that others have empathy and connect with their struggles and we need to cover all the shitty things that the oppressive religious right is doing because it affects so many people. You can read more about these panels under #LGBTmedia15 on Twitter.

That evening was just like a queer women party extravaganza which was just so so fun and exciting. I went to a reception at the John C. Anderson apartments, an amazing LGBT-friendly senior apartment community. That’s where I met Cathy, a black sixty-something lesbian who lives in the retirement home. I said hi to her and she told me about her horrible week which turned into her telling me her whole life story! Cathy’s story was interesting and quite sad actually. She talked about her childhood as the youngest of 12 siblings, how she desperately wanted to play with the boys in her neighborhood, how her father died when she was only 11 and how she had to get a job to help her mother support the family. She also talked about her boyfriends and how she never liked being with them. She talked about her children, how she raised them as a single mother and how she doesn’t regret having them. She talked about how her family, every single brother and sister, disowned her when she told them she was gay in her 20s. She also talked about the woman she’d been with for 15 years before she left her. I listened intently for a good 45 minutes. Cathy cried at one point and I hugged her maybe three times. I was glad I was there to listen to a lesbian elder and just hear out her story.

A little while later, in the same space, all the women at the conference gathered together and chatted about our experience at the conference and just generally how we can support each other. There’s no denying that the conference was overwhelmingly male-dominated so it was delightful to be in a space where all the women came together to talk and empower one another. We talked about how sad it is that so many dedicated queer women spaces are closing and dying and we even got the perspective from a lesbian elder on the topic. She told us how difficult it is for LGBT elders to get together because of mobility reasons but mostly because there aren’t any physical spaces for them anymore. Much like younger generations, they have found community online.

My absolute favorite thing about this conference was that I got to hang out with other awesome queer women of color writers including Elixher’s editor-in-chief Kimberley McLeod; Afrofeminist, speaker and editor-in-chief of QWOC Media Wire, Spectra Asala; and her lovely girlfriend and badass Latina poet and editor, Idalia Gutierrez. I was inspired by their words of wisdom and their companionship but also I just had a really great time with them. Later in the evening, we all went out to Stimulus’ Back to Basics party at Tabu which was just an awesome queer party. If you live in Philly, you should definitely check it out if you haven’t; the music was awesome, everyone was dancing and there were so many good-looking queers — all reminiscent of Klub Deer!

On the last day of the conference, we had a fantastic catered brunch at the Free Library of Philadelphia where I learned about Barbara Gittings, an early gay rights activist who headed the Gay and Lesbian Task Force of the American Library Association. Later on we went to the Rosenbach Museum, which houses rare books and manuscripts, to see an Oscar Wilde exhibit and some other super gay materials including Mercedes de Acosta’s love letters to her lesbians lovers. It was a quick trip so I’d definitely want to visit again to really experience what the museum has to offer.

That was the end of my journey at the LGBT media conference but my extremely gay visit in Philly wasn’t over yet! Maddie invited me to Philly Queer Brunch, a monthly queer potluck fundraiser, and yes, it’s as cool as it sounds. Everyone who attends brings food and drinks to share, money to donate and together they make something crafty. The group raised money for the Women’s Medical Fund of Philadelphia, which provides financial assistance and support to low-income folks seeking safe, legal abortions and also created a zine about reproductive justice. I met some really rad people and it inspired me to do something similar in my own city. Maybe you can do something similar for an Autostraddle Meet-up! Fun fact: the first organization Philly Queer Brunch donated to was this very website! Afterwards, I made Maddie take me to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall because YOLO and I had to see these things on my parents’ behalf since they don’t like to travel — I’m living their American Dream.

Overall, I had the queerest time in Philly and I went home filled with great experiences and joy but also I was so exhausted.

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The Month in Social Media

Our social media engagement continues to get better and better every month! Our clicks are climbing! Our retweets are rocketing! Our likes are … something alliterative. Lifting! Our likes are lifting! And the feedback we got about our GLAAD Award warmed the cockles of our hearts.

https://twitter.com/yellowstark/status/579954407007248384

Congrats to @autostraddle for winning a @glaad award last night!! Such a great site!!

— Liz Feldman (@thelizfeldman) March 22, 2015

@autostraddle CONGRATS on the #glaadawards win! http://t.co/mYVX6a4I1u

— GLAAD (@glaad) March 22, 2015

Hey @autostraddle – is that an Outstanding Blog award in your pocket—oh shit, it totally is! Big congratulations! #glaadawards!

— BFFsthemovie (@BFFsthemovie) March 22, 2015

https://twitter.com/sarrhansen/status/579648758087962625

a million congratulations to the whole @autostraddle team, who never cease to amaze me.

— Chloe S (@chlstevens) March 22, 2015

Congrats @autostraddle @autowin and the whole team on your Glaad award!!!!!

— Casey Cinnamon (@ccinnamon15) March 22, 2015

Congrats @autostraddle! you girls truly deserve it. Fight the good fight

— Zoe Gould (@ZoeGould) March 22, 2015

Makes me shed a gay, lil' tear that @autostraddle won Outstanding Blog at the #GLAADAwards. Super congrats, you guys deserve it!

— Jesse Nowack (@Nowacking) March 22, 2015

@autostraddle my apologies for misspelling 'outstanding,' but I am very glad that you all received the award. it was well earned ;p

— Holy Bullies (@holybullies) March 22, 2015

Congrats @autostraddle on Outstanding Blog award at the #glaadawards!

— Ariel Rehr (@TheArielSara) March 22, 2015

Congrats to @autostraddle for winning “Outstanding Blog” @GLAAD Media Awards last night! Well deserved!

— Mombian (@mombian) March 23, 2015

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XOXO

Team Autostraddle