What do we feel our sexual IDs “mean” about us as “people”? Do they have overlaps with our sense of self outside of bed? Do we notice others assuming these things about us (or projecting them onto us)? If so, is that annoying or helpful? Do they get at authentic ways that our sexual dynamics are natural expressions of other parts of our personhood?
Given that so much discourse is spent on bi people in relationships with binary genders, looking at relationships between bisexual people can be an opportunity to look at more expansive perspectives on bisexuality.
Dating looks different now.
You and your cyber cutie have probably gone from simple sexting to full-on virtual sex and maybe have seen each others toy or two – but what about exploring something to use together once it’s safe to meet up again? Wet for Her is low key making it hella easy to mix online shopping with your IRL play.
The best advice for a first date is always to be yourself; obviously you’re also interested in being the hottest, most unforgettable version of yourself. A good first date outfit does both.
Because of the positive affirmation I received during sex, I began to believe it was all I was good for. When people wanted me, I assumed it was my job to provide joy for other people. I gave myself to a lot of people in that way. I had to remember that I had a right to pleasure as well.
How have you defined (or not) your role over time? Has it changed, did you at first think you “were” one thing and now you ID differently? how did that feel and what did it bring up? How do you ID now, and where do you see it as part of that ~ journey ~?
“Wow I’m making myself sound so fucked up! I promise I got 30 whole percent in secure attachment.”
I’m not saying this word doesn’t hold meaning — I’m saying the opposite. This word holds so many meanings.
“You don’t have to be friends with the girl you met on Tinder (even if she says “wanna be friends instead?” after two dates and some exceedingly mediocre sex).”
“My biggest relationship fear is that my desire to not be controlled means that I’ll be alone forever and never receive any feeling of comfort or security. Yikes! Typing that out was fun.”
There is a different level of intimacy and affirmation that I have found when having sex with other fat people. Thin people approach the fat body like a series of insecurities. They see the swell of a stomach or rolls of fat on the back and assume that you hate those parts of your body. When another fat person touches me, it is to be made whole.
Life moves fast. Time is a warp. It’s possible that you missed some of these tension-filled erotic S L I C K moments. Join A+ so you can read the slow, tight tension — right before the frenzy — that I love to revisit.
“As a broody, miserable bastard, I’ve obviously spent some time pondering past relationship failures and wondering what a functional relationship would look like for myself in the future.”
When I teach Rachel how to tie me up and fist me, when I ask her to tell me what to do, when I teach her exactly how I want to submit, I give her permission to go on a journey with me and dive into an expanding world of pleasure.
If you use this opportunity to sharpen your communication, your dynamic will be stronger (and hotter) on the other side of a crisis.
Why does gay male sex turn you on if you’re a lesbian and is it okay? Plus, conflicting ideas about isolating & dating during quarantine, cheering up your partner over long distance, parents and mental health and Covid-19, SO MANY mixed signals from your ex wife who’s in another relationship and…should you fuck your boss?!?!?! Things are a mess out there, but at least we have each other and 26 questions from readers like you!
We released a list of books to read at the end of March for those interested in getting started with polyamory and non-monogamy. These resources go beyond books to blogs, podcasts, movies… so here are eight podcast episodes to get you started on polyamory and non-monogamy during this lockdown!
“It feels like dating is all of the bad parts with none of the good parts.”
The thing is: sometimes I like feeling disposable, like I’m just a bunch of holes that someone else is using for their pleasure. I know I’m fucking powerful, so sometimes I like to release control, let someone else do the work and have the power. That only works, though, when my boundaries are respected.