“I shower. Get dressed. Read or listen to music until my hair is mostly dry and I can brush it. I don’t wear makeup and I don’t know how to do anything with my hair. No one wears the same size as me. I don’t know how to be a part of this ritual.”
I love how soft I am postpartum. It’s a reminder of how my body stretched and grew and changed to grow a tiny human. I didn’t know I could be that strong and that soft simultaneously. I didn’t know my softness could be my strength.
A reader requested a roundtable where Autostraddle’s fat staff talk about how fatness, diet culture, and body positivity, relate to our queerness, identity, and gender. We aim to please, so here we are!
“There’s nothing better than finding out the way you love your body the most, and you’ve done that. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or weird for that.”
I thought I’d talk on a granular level about living in my particular body. And then, if you wanted to, you could do the same.
Including but not limited to Gold Bond Friction Defense.
Growing out your body hair can be exciting, liberating, and nerve-wracking. Here’s what I learned from growing out my leg hair.
I did my own research, aka I texted a bunch of my queer and trans friends to ask them about their body hair. What do you do with your pit hair? How does that choice connect with your gender, your other identities, cultural or family expectations?
“As a poet, I normally have time to carefully construct my sentences, my metaphors, etc., but here I didn’t have any preparation, and honestly, I don’t think I needed any.”
“An integral part of my business is to create and cultivate positive, meaningful, supportive relationships with everybody from my clients to my colleagues, people I’m renting space from, potential clients, etc. It’s important to me that my actions demonstrate my values that every person and every body deserves love, respect, and care.”
“There’s an annoying song that’s only playing all the way through all day long on some days. Others, I can barely hear the chorus, and others I can’t hear it all. But every day, I know that that song will be there again one day, maybe even tomorrow, maybe even later that same day. And I hate this song.”
“My brain is lit like the map of a major metropolis at night. My body is, too. ‘I am at one with a sea of sensations, glitter, silk, skin, eyes, mouths, desire,’ Anaïs Nin wrote, and that’s pretty much it. Or, put another way: I have found an affirmation of selfhood, and I haven’t thought to immediately annul it.”
Potatoes, bisexuals, cat crafts, Ellen Page, feminist echo chambers, Mars, swimming, Dear White People, life lessons, rituals and spells, racism in the newsroom, movies, the sex talk, teen pregnancy, cookie butter, other things, stuff you’ll like, words to read, pictures.
If you wait until your girlfriend with body issues is feeing just really attractive and good about herself to approach the idea of sex, you are, sooner or later, going to stop having sex together. Period.
The NIH has spent millions to find out why lesbians are more often overweight than straight women. But is it a matter of public health, or a product of the accepting nature of queer culture?
“When I was thirteen years old I began starving myself. I did so, in short, because I wanted so desperately to be thin. And by thin, I mainly meant white.”
Curvy, plus-size, big, thick and fat people are heading to the beach and the pool and taking to social media to show off their beautiful bodies and fashionable fatkinis.
I got a taste of something I had never known — shopping in the men’s department afforded my body the opportunity to take up the amount of space it actually takes up.
“This is the root of the problem with fat shamers such as Kelsey. They are not worried about the health of others, they are angry that they must worry and we do not. They are people who fear becoming fat, have been fat or feel fat right now and can’t stand that there are fat people in the world that seem carefree. Don’t you know you are disgusting!!?!?!? You’re supposed to be unhappy being fat!! That’s why I work so hard to stay thin; because fat people should be unhappy!!! WHY CAN’T I HAVE MORE MCDONALDS??? The reason I know this is because I was one of these people for a very long time.”
As a teenager, I reeled from the shift in the how society now viewed me: as a collection of body parts for anyone and everyone to comment on. Today, watching my teenage sister on social media gives me hope.