Yes, I am going to fill this recap with as many monkey puns as possible. No, there is nothing you can do to stop me.

Adventures in non-normative handedness.

This week on “Faking It,” everybody gets ready for a three-way!

It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.

Sundance was SUPER FUCKING GAY THIS YEAR, YOU GUYS. Let’s talk about the best queer films.

And none for you, GOP.

The new Shakira and Rihanna video got me thinking and I realized something. Rihanna does some gay shit. So I ranked her gayest videos.

I wish there was a way to get more Penelope Garcia, H.G. Wells and Olivia Benson into my life with less murder, like if they were all on the same hour-long HBO drama? Just saying.

At its core, science is a willingness to believe that the universe is knowable. That if we ask the right questions and follow the evidence, we can get to the bottom of how things are, and why.

The question of homophobia in historically Black churches is way more nuanced than conversations about Christianity and queerness often take into account. If the Black church and LGBTQ movements joined forces, they would be a force to reckon with.

Because of how upset and exhausted I assume y’all must be, I’ve made sure this recap is chock full of inappropriate captions and semi-offensive image editing and even drinking games you can play the next time you feel up to the challenge. Here is your veritable stuffed French toast of a recap, so go ahead and dig in.

Let’s take a long hard look at who else got nominated for GLAAD Awards this year besides us, with a not-to-be-missed section from Mey about the Comic Book nominees.

Maddie and Lauren bring you their feelings about Mary lambert, Macklemore, outfits, Mary Lambert, the music industry, live performances, and Mary Lambert.

Turns out that when you create the first ever show with a cast of almost all queer women, and do it on a cable channel that allows multiple scenes of what just barely misses qualifying as porn in every episode, we gays get resourceful.

On the journey from there to here.

While everyone else was feeling emotions Ari and Ashley were just hangin’ out doin’ them. Lesbians have this break-up thing down to a science, after all.

“Netflix is kinda like my fag hag, the kind that wraps you up in a warm rainbow blanket with a bowl of soup when you’re recovering from a Cinco de Mayo hangover.”

Because you’ve always wanted to hear Jon Gosselin say the words “I’m not masturbating.”

Felix says they need an idea to trap Donnie, and Alison tells him what every college student already knows: drinking leads to ideas.

Remember all the hope I had for Brandon? My hope is Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings lesbians will never put my hope for this character back together again.