This is the show that I fell in love with. Women, helping each other through their pain. Women, finding family. Women, finding support from one another while in the pits of the darkest places they can imagine.

I marathoned the entirety of Season 5 this weekend and I need to talk to somebody about it, pronto. SPOILERS AHEAD.

All the women of Litchfield deserve so much better.

An over-stuffed episode that needs more Maritza, but excels at its menstrual narrative.

The ladies of Litchfield perform ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler spoof Carol, Pretty Little Liars is calling it quits, and many more queer stories from the website pages.

Alex and Piper and Taystee and Poussey and Flaca and Maritza, oh my!

Every time an inmate turns a corner in Litchfield, there’s Vee, grinning evilly from her hiding place in the wall.

Yeah right, like she WASN’T going to drink for those 48 hours of freedom.

“Nothing like clean pores to motivate the capture and slaughter of a chicken.”

Let’s just go right ahead and kick off this recap with a gif of Alex. Let’s make that a thing that we do, okay?

Angie announces, “I’m the jefe now!” with one of the harshest American “j” sounds ever and decides there will be a talent show and the guard/hostages will perform. So, we know where this is going.

Crack is wack.

The SWAT team approaches and Larry returns. LARRY.

I think Poussey could say she’s invented the toilet brush and y’all would buy yourselves at least six toilet brushes, you would have a room in your house just for toilet brushes.

I hope your terrible facial hair overtakes your face and you choke on it.

Someday I will write an article comparing this entire show to Harry Potter, but today is not that day.

The perfect meal to pair with a 13 episode marathon.

“It’s not just sex. It’s love. It’s two people connecting … with four other people … and aliens.”

Suzanne’s backstory is so heavy it feels almost unnecessary.

Hey, but at least Poussey and Soso are going to make out a little bit.