This week on Generation Q, we get a special surprise blast from the past, young queer love, thruple MAYHEM and a very sloppy bro night as the town recovers from Bette Porter’s latest brush with scandal.

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for!

When in doubt, dance. Dance, I say! Dance! Dance all over the stage, change your clothes, tear up the floor, waltz and tango and skip and mambo your smokin’ hot bod down to the village square, hook up with the Pied Piper of WeHo and dance your way out of regularly scheduled programming into the idea well of death.

Next time you move to LA to be with your swim coach boyfriend, uncover lifelong lesbian longings via a literary-minded French seductress, get caught by boyfriend, get married to boyfriend in Vegas, road-trip back home on ’shrooms, discover your French lover’s Sugar Mama’s back in town, break up with the boyf and the girlf, move into your ex-husband’s vacated home, get lady-lover Shane to move in and consequently…well, you know what comes next.

Just fyi, no one wants to look like they’re moving furniture when they’re fucking. In other news, Adele is creepily turning into Jenny and Phyllis’s daughter is a babe.

Episode 606 of The L Word, titled “Lactose Intolerant,” is the worst thing I’ve seen on television since Episode 604 of The L Word. Howevs; whereas 604 was calmly terrible — bumbling softly along its housework-heavy path of mediocrity — 606 was outrageously, actively, aggressively terrible.

Someone just let Angelica honk the horn. already because shit is going DOWN in the season finale. Phyllis, Jodi, and Adele want it their way and Shane’s fucking [it all up] again but at least Helena and her money are here to save The Planet. Because where would be be without The Planet?

Jenny is more Jenny than EVER this season, Shane fucks it up again, Helena’s even pretty in jail, and someone commits arson! arson! Oh yeah, and Alice and Tasha are cutehotadorablesexybeautifuletcetc.

Xena the warrior princess shows up for another round of adoration from her number one fans: the lesbians. Also, shocker: Jenny DIED.

What’s happening this week on the l word? Jane Lynch is naked, Max is pregs, Dylan is back, and Shane and Jenny are making out. oy vey.