You Guys, Let’s Be Real, The Real L Word Sucked

Right?

Who thinks they got $1,000 every time they mentioned the “power of the clam.” Also is this boring for everyone, or just for us because we’ve experienced these “scenes” first-hand (L.A. Lesbians) and you know, like do The Tudors watch The Tudors? JK, we’re not The Tudors, but like, we’ve hung out with them a few times and that was enough. Like does Julia Child watch Top Chef, probs not, also I think she’s dead right. So anyhow.

Is it different if you’ve never witnessed the scenes in these particular cities, is that interesting enough? That’s a real question. I mean basically lesbians are lesbians are lesbians, this isn’t All My Lesbian Children, give us something to hold on to. What if this really is a show for straight people, is that possible?

Like, seriously. Is this it? The Hills Have Clams?

[recaps here]

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2743 articles for us.

59 Comments

  1. Of course it’s for straight people. Why the fuck would anyone make a show about lesbians for lesbians? That’s like, way too socially conscious or some shit. I love you SHOtime, but you still gotta grow up a bit.

  2. you guys, why don’t we just all tell illene (ilean? i leeen?) that she’s the bestest coolest, smartest, gutsiest hottest lesbian of the world so she can just go away already. seriously, i’ll pay the ransom, just give me my t.v back.

  3. I didn’t have high expectations given the hot mess I.C. made out of the first L Word series, starting in the middle of season 3, but I tried to give this a shot. I couldn’t even watch the whole show. I got through about 20 minutes and that’s all I could handle. If this is what lesbians in L.A. are like, then I’m really glad I don’t live there. Empty-headed, self-centered and really annoying, these girls are so full of themselves, so frivolous. It’s everything that annoys me about lesbians…the games, the drama, and I’m sorry, but I don’t find any of the cast remotely attractive. Guess I’m not into fake and stupid. What a disappointment.

  4. my friends and i more or less taped our eyes open to make it through to the end of this awful show. why did we do that? stubborn determination. was it worth it? no.

    btw, anyone notice the previews at the end (for the next episode)?

  5. “Like do The Tudors watch The Tudors?”

    word. I mean…I live in LA. I do the “scene” or whatever. These aren’t even like…the cool interesting girls from the “scene” let alone the cute ones…if that was what they were looking to make a show about. All I can say is I was really uncomfortable the whole time and just kept cringing.

    And Whitney the new Shane? Puuuhlease.

  6. I love The Real L word.. It did not suck.. I will continue watching.. Lil similarity between gimme sugar and TRLW. Loved gimme sugar when it was on.. Love to watch some hot chicas and there drama hehe… Lesbians just keeping it real. Muah chicas

  7. I feel a “Real L Word” of my life and group of homotastic friends would be significantly more interesting, and the highlights of my week are 75¢ beer night and driving a car with a working radio.

  8. First I thought I would hate it, then I thought hey maybe actually this is interesting, then I got bored, then I got distracted and paused it for a while to go on autostraddle, then because I didn’t really have anything else to do I finished watching it while wishing it was already over.

  9. My opinions:
    Mikey – I HATE you
    Nikki – I hate your face
    Jill – Whatever I cant remember you
    Rose – I would hate you but clearly you are not a real person
    Tracey – You seem quite normal and hot but part of me hates you for being on this show
    Whitney – wtf why dont you just move to the airport

  10. I didn’t think it was as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Seriously, when does the world ‘real’ in a show ever truly mean ‘real’ when it comes to reality television? I think the characters are pretty interesting. I mean, one can’t go a minute with out mentioning that she does cheats (ok…we get it), one likes every girl in the world, one didn’t realize she was gay until a trip to Disneyland or some shit (…wtf…that’s what turned on the light bulb?), another likes to yell at models, and the other two are getting married (which I think is the best plot). All in all, I think it shows a wide range of different personalities in each girl and everyone should calm yo selves.

    • I like trashy tv and this was trashy but I was mildly entertained. I cringe at the thought of it being supposedly representative of “real” lesbains. However, I agree for what it was it was decent. I got in my laugh quota for the day.

  11. “Whitney – wtf why dont you just move to the airport”
    My thought EXACTLY!!!!
    Plus it seems off that she has to keep flying in girls,the girls she is getting with are way hotter than her, seems like a waste to me. I just kept laughing, not even the good kind, it was awkward laughter. Now Stamie (Tracy’s girlfriend) and her ex, that’s a show I would watch,loved how they just kept giving each other a hard time.

  12. wow, you all haters lol.. i personally think it will be one goddamn hell of a show. will be dramatic for sure, but aren’t we all?
    definitely love Tracy and Whitney, and gotta love girls on the background as well, Romi and Scarlett are HOT. i’m just saying.

  13. Here’s what it boils down to…

    Mikey has bad hair and talks shit about people who dress poorly (which is comical as her way of dress is just sad). Nobody cares about the fact that her vocabulary is basically the work ‘fuck’, and she likes to talk about her huge dick (or lack thereof).

    Rose is a cow with sunken eyes who thinks she’s the shit when, let’s face it, the next thing she makes love to should be a treadmill.

    Nikki & Jill are BORING. Fast forward.

    Tracy is pretty plain, but she at least has legit lesbian issues to talk about. Boring nonetheless.

    Whitney is a train wreck. I’m not sure exactly how she could be a player, but play on… I guess. She’s probably the most entertaining part of the show (which isn’t saying much). I do love how karma bit her hard in the ass when Sara and Romi hooked up at Dinah. Still… Boring.

  14. I missed this show the first time around. I can see I didn’t miss much. I’m only on episode 2 and I don’t like any of the characters, except Tracy, but she’s gotten herself into a mess. Who needs all that baggage?

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