If Angela Chase Were 25, She Would Probably “Need” a Life Coach, Too

reality-bitesQUARTERLIFE CRISIS: The most interesting part about this quarterlife crisis” article, by “Generation Y Expert” Christine Hassler, is not figuring out whether or not I’m having a quarterlife crisis. Nor is it learning how a life coach can help me make it through the rain. What interests me (a certified overanalyzer of the human condition) is that we continue labeling inevitable states of mind with such scary words! CRISIS! THE DANGER LURKING IN YOUR FRIDGE! THE SECRET KILLER IN YOUR CHILD’S LUNCHBOX! ARE YOU SAD? ANXIOUS? BROKE? THERE’S A LABEL FOR THAT.

See, much like Sweetest Day and Internet Addiction, the “Quarterlife Crisis” concept seems to be a situation created to enable a solution — specifically, a solution that ultimately costs money.

After all, if you haven’t noticed, life itself is generally one big crisis if you’re unlucky, or if you’re lucky, life is a path vacillating heedlessly from meltdown to crisis to the stuff that happens between crises with occasional bursts of bliss, happiness, sexual intercourse and laughter. The key is to recognize that life isn’t going to be easy, the answers won’t always be obvious, but you can still spend every day laughing, making out, and waiting for the next joke. You can still FEEL happy. Christine says you need to ask WHO ARE YOU, which certainly can’t hurt. Where was I?

quartercrisisBeing a teenager is hard. Being in your twenties is hard. Thirties? HARD. Forties?! SO HARD!

If you get through all 25 questions without answering “yes” to at least 20 of them, I have 25 more questions for you — especially as most of these could easily apply to “a person alive during the recession.” Specifically if you’re in your twenties and the following things do not apply, please tell me what medication you’re on and what website sells it cheap:

2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life?
6. Do you feel entitled to a life much grander than the one you are living?
8. Do you feel a lot of pressure and expectations to do, have or be something?
10. Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?
13. Do you know what you want to do, but can’t seem to make it work?
14. Is it difficult for you to make decisions and when you do, you question them?
15. Do you overanalyze yourself? [ANGELA CHASE I’M LOOKING AT YOU]
20. Do you frequently compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don’t measure up?
21. Do you feel financially unstable?

Maybe I’m just jealous that Christine answered “no” to all of those questions, and that somehow she has an actual job “supporting twenty-somethings in navigating their way through their quarterlife crises.” I’m sure she means well. She’s pretty, btw.

“Up until now, your entire life may have been well scripted and now you are at a point in your life where you have to answer your own questions.”. Thanks but I’ll sick to Generation X’s best anecdote: quarter-life crisis MOVIESMallrats, Clerks, Reality Bites, Kicking and Screaming, Suburbia, Singles, Empire Records and really SO MUCH MORE! What was your favorite 90s Generation X movie? Are there Generation Y movies? (@huffpo)

FOX NEWS: The Ten Most Egregious Fox News Distortions (VIDEO). Ten of many.jay-brennan

THE GAY AGENDA: Actor & singer Jay Brennan (Shortbus) speaks to The Miami Herald about life as a gay man in these political times: “All the gay media circles and this industry that’s been created about being gay, they try to push their own agendas and stereotypes of what you should be. They’re trapping me and themselves. A lot of it is based on outdated ideas about what gay is or what gay people want or what is sexy. I don’t think about it that much. I don’t care. I’m attracted to other men and that’s the end of it.” (@miamiherald)

FEMINIST WEDDINGS: Feministing executive editor, Jessica Valenti, married this past weekend and was featured in the New York Times Vows section.  Now, people are freaking out over her having a wedding in the first place and claiming she has betrayed the essence of  Feministing. (@salon)

THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE: Vogue creative director and former model, Grace Coddington, heavily featured in the documentary The September Issue, is worried about how young and thin models are these days: “Personally we’re not allowed, at Vogue, to work with girls who are very thin, but you never know, because you could book them and think they’re a certain size, and they turn up on the shoot and suddenly they’ve spun into this anorexic situation. And you’re on the spot and you have to get the job done and you have one day to do it, and what do you do? But you try to be responsible, as Anna is.” (@nymag)

REAL LIFE WHIP IT: A woman was ousted from a New Jersey roller derby team because she was being stalked by the owner of the rink where the team plays. Several of her teammates quit in protest. (@nj)


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Riese

Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2896 articles for us.

26 Comments

          • my friend told me I wasn’t allowed to have a quarter life crisis til i was 25 ( I recently turned 23)

          • I just wanted to continue this pretty little reverse comment pyramid even though I have nothing of value to add. Hey, I’m 23 too. Every time I start having crisis-y feelings, I think about how when I’m 50 I would kill to be in my 20’s again. (that usually doesn’t help and then I just go drink chocolate milk).

          • i think if you answer “no” to all/any of these questions, you are a very boring, privileged person. we can’t be friends.

            [when emily was 8 she was sure she was growing nerves. like steel in her palm.]

          • Um, this quarter-life BS is a non issue. If you aren’t freaking about your life and your purpose in the world then you are a robot, or have robosexual tendencies. I must admit this Christine Hassler’s fake job genius is bordering on MENSA level. Right up there with “baby stylist.” Bravo.

          • Why does one have to freak out about their life and purpose in the world or be a robot? Just curious.

          • Well, I meant that to be a joke. But I guess I’ll expound on my little theory on life.
            I don’t believe that happiness and freak outs are mutually exclusive. A life devoid of panic, stress or adversity, which seems to be the definition of happiness/stability offered by Hassler, is unappealing to me. The sort of serenity that Hassler wants to give us has been on humanity’s “to-do list” for centuries, but our very nature prevents us from living without (completely normal) emotional ups and downs. Honestly, the first thing that came to mind when I was developing my comment was a robot. I didn’t mean to imply that anyone who isn’t in a state perma-crisis is a robot.

  1. oh man, my late twenties were insufferable, but unfortunately, until you feel better or see things differently, you just, well don’t.

    pscyhology has always said that moving from one ‘life stage’ to another (teen – young adult – adult)is super difficult. ack. live and learn i suppose!

  2. I can’t add onto the pyramid anymore..but I think if you answer No to any of the questions at any point in your life.. you are probably lying to yourself , maybe I’m just being pessimistic?

  3. Re: the quarter-life-crisis stock photo – if you are actually looking at that many bills, taxes, and pieces of paper that say DEBT on them, how is it possible that you are not in the middle of a crisis? Like, I think not responding to that situation with negative emotions is a condition in and of itself. Basically this is what everyone else has said: graduating from college/figuring out who you are/growing nerves is a shitty thing! That’s why it feels shitty!

  4. I’m a GenXer, and I loved watching My So Called Life ~ it was one of my favorite programs. I wonder if it’s on DVD! I definitely over-analyzed myself and still do today, although not as much. There’s nothing like being 25 ~ it was my favorite age to be. Enjoy your 20s, everything will eventually fall into place.

  5. Pingback: you can still FEEL happy » Haviland Test - Just another WordPress weblog

  6. Pingback: Life Coach – Latest Life Coach news – If Angela Chase Were 25, She Would Probably “Need” a Life Coach, Too

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