Results for: dead to me
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Walking With My Grief
My grief says, listen: you know how to take care of yourself.
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Is There Life After High School?
“I wanted to have nightmares about monsters or mass shootings. It was too embarrassing — in the midst of global catastrophe — to be concerned with something as frivolous as high school.”
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My Jackie: On Yellowjackets and a Missing Friend
We met when I was 16 and she was 17. We weren’t dating, but we might as well have been. I’ve been thinking about her more than usual lately, ever since I found myself obsessed with Yellowjackets.
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The Birth and Death of a Name
This is the story of the birth and death of my name, which means that it is a story about transition, which means that it is necessarily a story about the border between two places and the force with which one rends it.
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Straight, No Chaser
In the U.S., mass graves have been uncovered as developers unearth land for future projects. People claim we are experiencing the pandemic collectively — but economically, politically, and geographically, we are not. Look where we get buried. Look at who gets buried.
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Queering Faith: Reclaiming the Holy of Sexuality
How do you tell them your poem about pussy doesn’t negate your love for God? That your spirituality isn’t separate but an extension of you?
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Trans Fiction, Trans Imagination: I Will Answer Your Questions, If You Listen Closely
You want to know where you came from, is that it? Do not be embarrassed. Nature did not see motherhood in me, either.
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I Stopped Tweezing in Quarantine and Realized I’m Nonbinary
On the 24th day of quarantine, I turned on all of the lamps in my room and took off all my clothes. Then I stood in front of the mirror and stared.
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Learning To Live After My Younger Brother Died
When I unexpectedly lost my little brother to cancer, I had to learn how to close out his unfinished business and live life again without him.
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Trans Fiction, Trans Imagination: Notes on (AcroYoga) Camp
Sitting there, eyes closed, I could feel the subtle movements of the two people I was touching. To my right—someone I’d never met. I’d glimpsed basketball shorts, ragged tee, short hair. Muscular, athletic body. My hand on an unfamiliar, living knee.
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Uncovering My Secret Queer Family History
Both Marge and Madeline chose to find family within each other, and from there I understood, as I heard these stories from Marge after my grandmother had died, and then from my mother after Marge had gone, that such a thing could be done.
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The Letter I Wrote To My Mother Asking For A Puppy In Second Grade, Annotated
Part-poem, part heartfelt plea, this letter proves I have always been a bad liar.
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Writer Elizabeth Wurtzel is Dead at 52: Her Life Was One Long Longing
“I think what she articulated for me that nobody else had done quite so well was that it was possible to be very smart, intellectually, while also feeling very stupid, emotionally.”
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Haunting of Hill House’s Spooky Lesbian Empath Helped Me Understand My Own Ghosts
“I have enough of my own grief, I don’t need yours, too.”
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From Willow to Waverly: A Decade of Being Out and Me and Queer TV
“I remember little moments so vividly — like Ashley kissing Spencer on the shoulder while they looked in the refrigerator for something to eat. This is what I wanted. And I wasn’t afraid of wanting it anymore.”
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The None-est of All: My Journey as a Reluctant, Disabled Athlete
Watching them sweat from my spa on the sidelines, I’d thank my body. On the one hand, so humiliating; on the other, its own defense mechanism against the wretchedness of exercise.
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Reaching Out for My Queer Muslim Community to Hold Me After Christchurch
In times like these, when people don’t understand us and decide that this means we shouldn’t live at all, we need to connect with the people that do understand, even if just a little bit, even if peripherally.
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How My Badass Butch Skyrim Character Saved My Life
In the mirror, I saw a scrawny, hollow-eyed girl dressed in ill-fitting boys’ clothes, a parody of a parody of masculinity. But in the screen, I saw myself made strong, confident, fearless, perfect.
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This Year Is Gonna Be a Good One: Birthday Diaries, 2001-2018
17 years of birthday diary entries.
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A Birthday Party No One Else Was Invited To
The first time someone described Casey as having “stalkerish” tendencies, I defended her. For the most part though, I didn’t talk about it.