Listen first up I have some bad news. Jenny is going to die this season. What do Jenny and George Washington have in common? Both dead. Jenny and Virginia Woolf? Dead as drowned doornails. I also have some good news: despite popular protest, our favorite theme song “The Way that We Live” is BACK! As long as I can hear this song at least eight more times before I die, I won’t be hitting up my neighbors for smack.
Hey here’s a theory. BETTY killed Jenny. In self-defense! Yeah? Good one, right? Actually that might be my best theory.
A lot of things make a comeback in episode one. You know how I feel about spoilers, so I’m not gonna give you any today unless you consider all screenshots to be spoilers in which case abandon ship immediately. They’re not revelatory. Have any of you not already watched it? I feel like it’s online and you’re all CHEATING! That’s fine, cheat away.
ALSO PLEASE VOTE FOR MY BLOG THIS GIRL CALLED AUTOMATIC WIN for he 2008 Webblog Awards, the most important awards of its kind, DON’T LET THE REPUBLICANS BEAT ME! IT’S SUPER IMPORTANT AND EVERY VOTE COUNTS THANK YOU.
We had an L Word premiere get-together — I gots to watch this shit ahead of time so I can make timely recaps.
Firstly, our friend and Carly’s Lover Partner Special Friend Robin Roemer is an amazing photographer, holy shit. Anyone who can make seven girls sitting in a pitch-dark room watching television look like a retrospective-worthy photography exhibit is probs the best event/wedding photographer of all time. I’m not just saying this, when she sent them to me I was like, omg, firstly, it was so dark in there, secondly, we all look so dynamic and interesting!
Keep that in mind next time you need a portrait, commitment ceremony or sexy-time photographer. (She’s also photographed some of your other favorite people including Uh Huh Her, Sarah McLachlan, Katy Perry, Annie Lennox, The B-52s, Lady GaGa and Cyndi Lauper.) Anyhow. That’s where these photos are from.
We’ll still have the traditional sucky macbook photos in the recap, of course.
We had a special visitor from Australia (Oz, co-leader of The L Word Online ) and creator, head writer, director and executive producer of AfterEllen’s hit series Alexi’s Closet, Alexi Melvin. Because the “Fly Riese to LA and/or Haviland to NYC so they can vlog and watch The L Word together” fund is very empty (TIP JAR PEOPLE!), she obvs won’t be watching, but I did get everyone else to come, and this little post will end with all of Team Autostraddle telling YOU what they’ve liked best, and loathed, about The L Word thus far.
Carly’s promised to attend every recap. Alex actually is the only one who truly did attend every single recap last season. I think it’s cause she liked Helena so much, she just wanted to be wherever Helena would be you know? So we have …
What else is COMING BACK THIS SEASON?
Hi guys! Back with the written word here. So, we’re working hard at moving autostraddle to an even better platform with heaps more stuff on it before the premiere. So that’s something to look forward to besides um, THE KILLER SEASON! But first I asked everyone to take a look backwards and remember what they loved & hated from prior seasons.
Faves: “The Lara Stakeout, the Tina-and-Bette-are-Boring Intervention, every time Shane & Carmen hooked up and the stoned & dancing to the Jackson Five scene. My faves were chosen ’cause they show the gang having fun together. Or they involve Carmen being hot, ’cause … she is.”
Most hated: “The Dana dying storyline and Jenny’s flashbacks/weird dream things. Least faves are obvious. Just the most tedious storylines that I hate-hate-hated. Actually I hate hate hated a lot (*cough*Hazel … that was the name of the nannyfuckingmotherfucker, right?)”
Faves: “When Shane had to wear a dress for the quincinera and it looked so silly, that was funny, or when they try to find out if the chef is gay and they go in there secret-agent style. Oh! and the basketball scene.”
Least Favorite: “Dana mirage in the waterfall.”
Faves: “Either the phone tree from season four, or Shane & Carmen playing ‘Too Hot’ in Season Two. Or any Tibette sex scenes and when Jodi talks. Obvs JK on the last two.”
Faves: “This might sound random and insignificant compared to scenes with “deeper meanings,” but the basketball scene is one of my favorite scenes EVER. It wasn’t too dramatic, it didn’t feel fake — in genuinely seemed like something I could relate to and it made me laugh. It was like something I’d do with my friends, and the reality and spontaneity made it all the more fun to watch.”
Worstest: “The worst scene for me was when Dana died. I am a huge fan of the Dana/Alice relationship, and I think that in her final moments, Dana realized what a mistake she’d made, leaving Alice. I can’t ever go back to that scene because it twists my insides! Why couldn’t Alice and Dana live happily ever after?! Who would it hurt?? Besides Lara.”
Fave: When Jenny is crawling around in the backyard and she goes “I was just looking for some toast.” Also at the wedding in season five when Shane’s drinking a lot and someone’s like are you okay, and Shane’s like, I’m FINNNEEE in this crazy voice. When Kit runs up on stage like a drunk hot mess and calls Angus a nanny-fucking-motherfucker.
Least Fave: All the times in Season Two when we were supposed to imagine Shane being sexually attracted to various members of the band BETTY.” I mean come on.
Fave:“The opening song. I could just watch it over and over. No really, off the top I guess I would have to say that opening when Alice, Shane Jenny and Helena were in that Charlie’s Angels spoof. Its just so stupid and so amazing at the same time. I love things that are stupid and amazing. Shane’s accent really kills me in this- its horrid. Also I like watching Alice flip around her crazy blonde hair.”
Also off the top of my head is that scene when Alice gets upside after reading Jenny’s article in the New Yorker “FICTION” section. My two FAVORITE characters at their best.
Jenny: “Oh my God, it’s Monet. Monet has come back from the dead and he wants me to give you a message. He says, I’m so sorry for sitting in front of my pond in France and sketching those water lilies and using the water lilies as actual inspiration. Sorry to offend Alice.”
Alice: Right… Oh wait, he’s talking to me…so weird. What? Ok, I’ll let her. He said, don’t ever fucking compare yourself to him again!
Fave: “Season One was far superior to any other. My favorite moments? The Everything is Perfect Now blackout sexathon, the Dinah Shore episode, the introduction of Helena Peabody and anytime Mama Peabody was on screen. Also, ‘I financed the HELL out of this unit’ … oh wait, that was me.”
SLICEY! from The L Word Onlinehas her picks:
My favorite SCENE would have to be the Is-Dana-Gay/Mission Impossible scene. I love any scene of the L word where the main g
roup of ladies are together and I thought it was so cute that they all came together to help Dana out, even though she was completely embarrassed by it! And I thought it was actually pretty realistic in a quirky kind of way.
My favorite MOMENT, however, was when Shane and Alice are eating pot brownies…excuse me, “PARTY brownies” in the kitchen and Shane offers her movie double a brownie, saying, “They’re not gay!” and then Kate and Leisha totally break character for a moment when they start cracking up imagining gay brownies.
The absolute worst was the Jenny-mushroom-exodus. I remember being SO BORED watching that episode and asking Oz over and over, “What is this?,” “Why isn’t anything happening?,” It was so excruciating. I don’t know what Ilene was doing to us, but I’m pretty sure that ep was 20 solid minutes of Jenny weirdness. I’m positive that I didn’t laugh or smile one single time in that entire episode.
Are you so excitant for Season Six?
10 days … til the first RECAP of Episode 601: “Long Night’s Journey into Day.”